


Chasing The Moon

by d3adendsinmymind



Category: Death Note (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Childhood Trauma, Criminal Justice, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Just Wammy Trauma, Light Grows Up At Wammys, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Misa Is Cunning And Devious Here, OC Amane Misa, Orphan!Light, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Perfectionism, Smart Amane Misa, Unrequited Love, Wammy's House (Death Note), Yagami Light is Kira, Young Love, dark secrets, hard decisions, that's the fic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-08
Updated: 2021-03-14
Packaged: 2021-03-14 08:40:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 50,920
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29914281
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/d3adendsinmymind/pseuds/d3adendsinmymind
Summary: Seven year old Yagami Tsuki's life is turned upside down when his family is suddenly killed in a senseless robbery. Since he is one of the brightest young minds in Japan, he is found and taken in by Wammy's House. He is gifted with the alias of 'Light', because his mother had always told him he was her Light. Despite the competitive atmosphere and the trials and tribulations the school has to offer, Light manages to live life as a prodigy. As a perfect son, wanting to make his parents proud from wherever they may be. Light ignores the gaping hole in his heart, he ignores the loss of his family.But one day, he finds a news article talking of a supernatural force who is taking justice into their own hands, Kira. Light scoffs at the notion, thinking that supernatural powers are impossible. Until he sees that his parents have been avenged by Kira. Until he sees the black notebook.He learns about Kira's powers, and starts questioning the justice he has been taught since he was born. He watches his friends fall, and become afflicted by trauma the institution he grew up in has manufactured. He feels something grow inside of him, something he can't ignore.He was always told that he was destined for greatness.
Relationships: A/Beyond Birthday, Amane Misa/Yagami Light, L/Yagami Light, Matt | Mail Jeevas/Mello | Mihael Keehl
Comments: 15
Kudos: 37





	1. The Beginning Of The End

**Author's Note:**

> WE'RE BACK AT IT AGAIN! New fic babey B) When I thought of this idea last night, I couldn't stop bouncing up and down.
> 
> Who's ready for some Light as Kira content??
> 
> If you're new here, hi! My name is d3adendsinmymind (not my real name, obvi. It's a cooler name;) I'm the same author of Who Am I and Who Are You? But this fic will be very, very different. I suggest bringing some tissues along for the ride. 
> 
> So yes, Light growing up in Wammy's. Not a new concept. But him not being the first Kira? Drama! This fic explores the darkest parts of Wammy's house, and talks about what the characters went through. B isn't a complete bastard in this fic, but Mello and Near still have that same old rivalry. Also, a Light out for vengeance? A Light that has been taught be the very same school L has been taught in? YES PLEASE! 
> 
> Notes:
> 
> All characters are the same age. (A, B, L, Light, Matt, Mello, and Near are all seventeen/eighteen after the prologue)  
> Light's original name was 'Tsuki' (moon in Japanese) so that his name could be changed to Light  
> Mr. Wammy and Roger are BAD GUYS!! We do not like them in this fic:(
> 
> Okay! I hope you all enjoy the prologue, and get ready for the first official chapter to be posted soon! I can't wait to hear all of your thoughts on this new work:)

A cage. That’s what the brunette has thought as he first entered this old house. He thought that it was a cage, one that meant to keep him away from society. Away from anything and everything he had once known. This was a cage separating him from his real home in Japan. He decided he would not like England. He knew he would be forced to learn English. He watched one movie in the language, but none of the words had made sense. It all sounded like warbling bird noises, it was just meaningless sounds that filtered through his brain. 

And the land had not had good weather when he had arrived. Fog had coated his surroundings, making everything appear as if he was in a dream. Everything was faded and unimportant. It was all grey sludge in his eyes. Japan had been sunny when he had left, the cherry blossoms had fallen from the sakura trees. Trying shades of pink petals had laid under his feet, and the bright blue sky had almost burned his corneas. The sun had shone on him, making his skin flush despite how cold he felt on the inside. This land did seem to better fit his mood, though. This desolate, barren land. This strange and foreign land. This land where anything could possibly happen.

He kept his gaze trained on the white comforter beneath him, and started to pick at a loose thread. He didn’t know why he couldn’t have been transferred to a normal foster family, like his sister Sayu. Or, should he say, his former sister? He suspected he would never see the three-year-old tike ever again. And although he had not known her for long, he felt a sort of longing. Not that he was particularly attached to the young toddler. Mainly, he had always found her annoying. She would constantly wail at the top of her lungs whenever she needed sustenance or a place to rest. She had thrown blocks and toys at the seven year old. And whenever he had attempted to show her who was really in charge, he would get reprimanded. No, he surely didn’t feel loss. Not of a sister, at least. He felt loss for leaving his home.

Dreary England was no place like Japan. His true home. Japan had been bright and bustling with noise, with promise and opportunity. Japan had felt safe; it had felt comfortable. This place felt warped, like it didn’t even exist. He felt bleak, some distant emotion he couldn’t quite put a name too was creeping up to him. 

Despite the claustrophobia he was currently drowning in, he kept his face a blank slate. One of the most important things his late father told him was that emotions made one weak. Not being in control of a situation made you weak. And powerful, successful men were always in control and never weak. 

He wished he could have gotten more of his father’s advice, before he had met his untimely end. It had been such a good day. His mother had packed applesauce inside of his lunch bag. He had achieved the highest score on his math test out of anyone in his class, and he had been so excited to show his family. He had imagined his mother’s soft brown eyes filling with adoration, before pulling him into a hug. His mother had always given the warmest hugs. He had imagined his father smiling, the wrinkles that had been formed from his stressful job at work would fade away and he would tell his son that he was proud of him. 

But, no. He had waited for his father’s car to pull up. He waited, and waited. He watched this classmates walk away to their own cars, and children around him had slowly disappeared until he was all alone. A teacher had then come outside to inform him of the sad news. He had shook his head, because no. No. How could his parents be gone? They were always there, he had never been away from them for more than a few hours. How was it possible that he would never see them again?

It was possible because of the man who had killed them. He had gently been informed by an officer, one of his father’s coworkers, that it had been a robbery gone wrong. The man had wanted some valuables, and his father had attempted to stop him. He had then been shot, and then his mother had been shot, and nothing had even been stolen. Neighbors had reported the fearsome sounds, and the man was later found at a bus station. 

Light had cried, for the first time in his life. That he could remember, anyway. Because if he had cried when he was a baby, that wouldn’t of counted. Babies cried because they couldn’t speak, it was the only thing their barely formed minds could do. But this was not any cry. He had felt his heart physically snap in two, he had watched the world turn grey in front of his eyes. He had felt the hot liquid sloshing down his cheeks, and he had felt his head throb painfully. He had denied it until he couldn’t, until he had seen an officer cradling Sayu in his arms. She was wailing too, but she had no idea why. The brunette envied that.

So one of his father’s coworkers, his name might have been Aizawa? It didn’t matter, the officer had let him stay with his family for a few days. He hadn’t of been allowed to go back to his house, his belonging had been brought to him. Because it was a crime scene. HIS house. The one he had grown up in. The rooms where he had watched cartoons and ate dinner, those were now crime scenes. He hadn’t of been back to his house since the last time he had seen his family. In a way, it was fitting. The house had disappeared along with his parents.

He had known he was alone in the world. As soon as he had stepped foot into his father’s coworker’s house, he had known that he was alone. He knew that his father would never smile at him again, and his mother would never softly brush his hair away from his face. There would be no more family walks in the park, and movie nights would be a thing of the past. He would never be read a bedtime story again, and he would never feel the same security that being tucked into his bed had brought. Sayu was nothing to him, she couldn’t provide any comfort or support. No, the only people who could do that were gone. He wanted to cry in his mother’s arms about how alone he had felt, but they would be cold and stiff. 

The funeral had been a dull affair. Most of the people there were coworkers, or family friends. All of his living relatives were dead, save for his mother’s sister. But they didn’t speak, and Light had hardly known anything about the woman except that she had sent him a birthday card once. 

So that left him with no alternatives, no blood to stay with. He had had no where to call his home, and he knew that he would be sent to some home for lost children. His lip had curled at the thought, because he wanted his house. He wanted his family, he wanted the walls that he had grown up inside of. He didn’t want to be in some new place, he didn’t want to have to adapt to his new life. 

But that was the only thing he could do. He had been found by the owner of the orphanage, because apparently he had been one of the brightest young minds in Japan. Apparently this orphanage was for genii kids, and he had made the cut. He had been flown out to England and brought to this cage. That’s what the older man had told him in the car, at least. He hadn’t of really been listening. He had just stared at the countryside, and foolishly wished that the burglar had taken his life as well. 

Here he was, expected to make the best of a bad situation. The small boy flopped on the bed, glaring angrily at the yellow lightbulb on the ceiling. No matter how fancy this place wanted to seem, it was still an orphanage. It was still a lonely place for lonely children. It was a graveyard for the living. He just wanted to go home. He hated the faint sounds of laughter that were coming from somewhere down the hall, and he hated that he would have a room mate. He wanted to jump on the other bed and muss up the covers, before he remembered himself.

No, he couldn’t afford to throw any tantrums. His father had been Soichiro Yagami, a man of honor and dignity. He was his son, and now probably expected to carry on the family legacy. Crying about what had happened wouldn’t change anything, he knew that. Hitting and kicking and screaming and destroying property wasn't going to do anything either. Sure, he could sulk under the stiff covers of the bed, but why would he? His parents were dead, and he would never see them again. No matter what he said or did, this was an unavoidable fact. 

His father had told him to be the best at everything he did. He was a Yagami, after all. The Yagami’s had honor. They were one of the most respected families in the Kanto region. They had been. He was expected to be the perfect son, a prodigy. His mother had told him that he was her light, her shining star. He was supposed to make his parents proud, even from heaven. He had to continue on with his life, he couldn’t let this pain overtake him. Even at the tender age of seven years old, he knew that. 

No matter what, he couldn’t give up. He couldn’t die along with his family. He had survived, for a reason.

It was easier said than done, but he would force himself to be okay. He had to. What other choice did he have? He had been told once that he was destined for greatness. He wanted that greatness, now more than ever. 

-

“Where is he? I want to meet him!”

The older gentleman looked down to the small blonde boy, and gave him a kind but strained smile. The kind that took effort to curve up on your lips. The kind that spoke of heart ache, and turmoil. 

“He’s resting.“ Mr. Wammy tried to explain, but Mello just cocked his head to the side.

“It’s only five o’clock.” The boy pointed out, and his red-headed companion nodded sagely from behind him. Those two were inseparable, ever since Matt had come to the orphanage Mello had stuck to him like glue. Mello and Matt, the two M&M’s as L liked to call them. 

“He’s had a long day.” The older gentleman sighed, but a new face suddenly rounded the corner.

“Is he here yet?” B asked excitedly.

“He is, but Wammy is hiding him away.” Matt informed him, and the other boy’s red eyes suddenly glinted with mischievousness. L had always found it strange that one could posses such brightly colored orbs, ones that had such an odd color at that. B’s eyes had unsettled him before he’d realized the boy’s bark was worse than his bite. B was a loud-mouth, a trouble maker, but not a real threat. He was just a rambunctious golden retriever. 

“Lame.” The red-eyed seven year old proclaimed, stomping his foot and running up the worn wood staircase to lazily lean over the rail. Mr. Wammy had told B not to lean over the edge at such an angle, but the other normally disregarded warnings. He lived life his own way, no one else’s. 

“We hardly ever get new chumps around here.” B continued, rocking slightly back and forth. “This is the first new student to be dumped here since the dinosaur age!”

“Near came a few months ago.” Matt pointed out, but Mello made a disdainful noise in the back of his throat.

“Near doesn’t count.” Mello scoffed. “I want a friend who doesn’t have his head stuck up his ass-“

“Mello.” Mr. Wammy butted in, giving the boy hanging off of his coattails a stern look.

“Bottom.” Mello corrected, rolling his eyes. “I want excitement! New people are always so fun…”

“He’s had a long journey.” Mr.Wammy said, looking towards the upstairs floor nervously. “And he’s a very quiet boy, I think he’d appreciate some alone time.”

“No one likes alone time.” Mello proclaimed in that way he did, like he was so sure of everything. 

L disagreed, though. Alone time was therapeutic for him. It gave him time to think, to let his own thoughts run rampant with no interruptions. Solitude was a kind of heaven, the kind that was rare in the orphanage he lived in. Aloneness was a privilege, one he was rarely able to indulge himself with. Sharing a room with B was like constantly living inside of a circus. The boy would always want to play games or go outside to explore the wilderness. He would always try and engage L in conversation, and L did not enjoy small talk. He liked the sound of silence above anything else. If this boy was anything like himself, he surely wouldn’t appreciate being hassled. L could understand the fear and apprehension that came with coming to live in a new place. Especially if one had lost their parents, and felt alone in the world. It was a jarring feeling, and he remembered how he had felt upon first coming to Wammy’s. He had curled into a small ball inside of his new room and cried, silently begging God to bring his parents back. His stomach had twisted into knots and he had been mute for days. He imagined this boy was currently experiencing his own kind of personal hell, probably similar to the one that L had gone through. 

That being said, it wasn’t as if L was going to leave things be. No, he liked puzzles. He liked venturing into the unknown, and solving mysteries. And he had been the first one to see the boy. His room overlooked the driveway, and he had heard Mr. Wammy’s car pull in and settle over the gravel. He had looked down at the small boy who had exited the car, with only a small knapsack slung over his shoulder. Despite the fog, L could see that he was a brunette. He could also make out his body language, it had struck him. His shoulders had been hunched over and the raven could almost see the despair clouding around him. He had trudged behind the older man slowly, stopping only once to glance up at the house. He had been too far away for L to look at the expression on his face, but he had took a step back from the house. As if daunted by the thing. L had heard Mr.Wammy calling for him to hurry along, and the boy had hastily dipped his head and hurried after the man. L had deduced that while he was uneasy, he also did as he was told. That while he looked like a rabbit about to make a mad dash for the forest, he would not allow himself to run. There had been something in the way that his steps had changed, something that drew L in. He wasn’t generally interested in other’s, but this boy had something special about him. It was gut instinct, and L always trusted his gut. It was how he had become so good at investing in stock. 

“Mello, aren’t you on kitchen duty tonight?” Mr. Wammy suddenly sighed, running his hand through his thinning hair. 

“But-“ Mello started to protest, before Mr. Wammy’s eyes narrowed. His mustache twitched in annoyance and his forehead lines creased. L gulped, he knew that look. That was Mr. Wammy’s fatherly look, the one that told the children he was not to be toyed with. L slipped away before the older man could assign him a chore, and softly crept up the staircase. B and Mello were still arguing passionately, and L shook his head. Words accomplished nothing, L preferred to take action. 

-

The boy slowly turned his head towards the door when it creaked open. He was expecting to find the older man that had brought him here, but he was met with the pale face of another child. Another orphan. Probably his roommate. The boy rolled his eyes, internally of course. He was much too upset for socialization, but he supposed it was unavoidable in a place like this.

The other boy was small, probably around his age. He was pale and was hunched over, with a thumb inside of his mouth. Light’s nose crinkled, that wasn’t very sightly. He had always been told to keep his fingers out of his mouth. Bitten nails were not something one should posses, and sucking on a thumb could cause bucked teeth. The other boy had wild black hair that stood up in every direction, and the brunette wanted to snatch a hairbrush out of his bag and give it to the other boy. It wasn’t very polite to walk around with untamed hair.

It also wasn’t very polite to stare at another person without speaking. Silence enveloped the pair as the other looked at him as if he was some animal in a zoo. The brunette sat up and resisted the urge to cross his arms over his chest. The newcomer had black eyes. They were dark, and filled with curiosity. They looked like black pools, and he almost felt as if he was drowning inside of them. They were filled with a certain light, one that spoke of intelligence. The brunette could almost see the cogs turning inside of his head, he could almost hear his thoughts. 

“Are you my room mate?”

The other’s eyes snapped back up to his, and the brunette swallowed thickly. For someone so young, his eyes looked quite old. Experienced. He looked startled that the other had spoken to him, as if he expected the brunette to be some shell-shocked freak. The boy also realized that he had spoken in Japanese, and so the other probably didn’t understand him. 

Shaking his head slightly, the brunette watched as black bangs fell into his eyes. “No. I came to say hello.”

The brunette blinked in surprise as he heard his native tongue. Cocking his head to the side, he studied the raven-haired boy with newfound interest. “You speak Japanese?”

“Yes. I speak english, spanish, german, and japanese. I’m currently learning russian and chinese.” The boy told him, removing his thumb from his mouth to stuff it back into the pocket of his jeans. The brunette now realized that he was barefoot. “So, you’re from Japan?”

“I was.” The brunette sucked in a deep breath. 

“Interesting.” The other nodded. “I suspected you were asian when I first saw you, though I have never seen a Japanese person with brunette hair.”

He didn’t know what to say to that, so he just shrugged. “My father was half-american, and my grandma had brown hair. I saw it in a picture once.”

“I see.” The other boy ran his foot up and down his leg, his eyes traveling up to the ceiling. 

“What’s your name?” He blurted out, and the raven-haired boy gave him a small smirk. He curved up the corners of his mouth, and for some reason, it made the brunette want to smile as well.

“You can call me L.” The boy he now knew was ‘L’ responded. Huh, what an odd name. Was it a nickname? “We do not use real names here. We use aliases, L is my alias.”

That made more sense, so the brunette nodded. He didn’t know why fake names were needed, but the house was hidden away in the forest. The older man had also told him that secrecy was of utmost importance, and that this was not just an orphanage but a school. A highly advanced school for highly advanced children. What was so special about this place? It just looked like an old house. What was it hiding?

“My name is Yagami Tsuki.” He replied, before mentally slapping himself upside the head. “But…I know here you use fake names. I don’t have a fake name, though.”

“You’ll need one.” L told him, blowing a tuff of black hair away from his eyes. “Can you think of anything?”

“I never thought I’d need a fake name.” Tsuki sighed, leaning back against the wall. It felt cold. “Why does this place make you choose a fake name?”

“We are training for highly secretive work.” L told him gravely. “Most of us here are going to be detective’s, but some will work for governments or on secret research projects. Since everyone here is genii, we are meant to take on more advanced jobs. Of course, with these jobs come more danger. So we take every precaution possible to protect our real identities.”

Tsuki furrowed his eyebrows slightly, but nodded anyway. He didn’t want this L, who apparently was a genii himself, to think that he didn’t understand something. It was just like a bootcamp. Or, no, it was an elite boarding school. That was what he would tell himself to make this situation more bearable. 

“You could choose to be called moon.” L suddenly suggested. “That’s what Tsuki means in Japanese, right?”

The brunette slowly shook his head. “That sounds dumb.”

“What about….T?”

“Just a letter?”

L’s eyes narrowed in annoyance, and he leaned against the walls. He breathed a huff of air through his nose, and his thumb returned back to his mouth. “Did you have any nicknames back home?”

“Everyone just called me ‘Tsuki-kun.’” The brunette told him. He felt his fingers drumming against his pant leg as a memory came to him, and he shut his eyes. He imagined his mother leaning down to kiss him on the forehead, and whisper lovingly in his ear- “My mother used to call me her light.”

“Light.” L tested out, the word flowing off of his lips and filling the air. The brunette relaxed as he heard it, it touched something inside of him. It was a name that felt right, somehow. It felt as if it was made specifically for him. He could see himself as a light, the last light of what his parents had been. The light in the darkness, the one good thing that had come out of the whole disaster. He liked being called Light.

“It suits you.” L told him. “I don’t know why exactly, it just does. I could see you being called Light. It’s definitely a…creative name.”

“Then Light I’ll be.” Now Light decided. “Do I get a new birth certificate or something?”

“No.” L told him simply, crossing over to sit across from him on the bed. Light almost frowned, he hadn’t of given him permission to make himself at home. Maybe the rules were different here. “You’ll just be known as Light.”

“My mom would like it.” He sighed wistfully, thinking of Sachiko. She probably would. His insides soured, and he quickly shook the mental picture of her face away. He wasn’t going to cry, not in front of the stranger. “When’s dinner?”

“Now.” L told him, adjusting himself so that now he was crouching in a very frog like manner. He was sitting on his feet and his knees were drawn up to his chest, and his thumb was pressed to his lips. Light tried not to widen his eyes and looked away awkwardly. He thought that L looked ridiculous sitting like that, but pointing it out and laughing would be rude. “We didn’t think you would come down. Mr. Wammy said you were quiet, and resting.”

“I’m polite.” Light corrected, he didn’t want anyone to have the wrong impression of him. He knew how to speak, he wasn’t mute. He just didn’t have much to say. “And I’m not tired, I slept most of the car ride over here.”

“You aren’t jet lagged?”

“I mostly slept on the plane.” Light informed him. “It was boring. I brought a few books, but I finished them in two hours.”

“What were the books?”

Light bent down to his bag and brought one of the books out to hand to the other. “The Fall of the House of Usher was one.”

“Hm.” L made an amused noise in the back of his throat and turned the book over, studying it. He ran a place finger down the spine, tracing the swirled designs. “It’s a quite morbid story. How could you sleep after reading this?”

“It’s not that morbid.” Light defended, delicately taking the book back into his own hands to study. He gazed at the house on cover, and his eyes fell upon one of the windows that had a light on. “And anyway, I also read Lord of the Flies, which I think is worse.”

“Why did you choose those books?” L asked, bending down to find the other book Light had told him about.

“It was all that was brought to me.” Light slightly sighed, delicately laying the other book down to stare out of the window. The sun was setting, and the dying rays of light seeping through his window. The sun almost looked orange. “I wasn’t allowed to go back to my house, a few officers brought my things. I asked for books, so they probably grabbed a few and didn’t bother to read the titles."

“Why weren’t you allowed to go back to your house?”

“Don’t you know?” Light snapped, harsher than he had intended to, and then bit his tongue. L’s eyes had widened and filled with an apology, and just as he opened his mouth to utter it, Light held his hand up. “Sorry, that was rude. My house was where my parents died so….it was a crime scene.”

“Ah.” L nodded. “I knew your parents had recently…passed. Mr. Wammy told me, but I didn’t know how.” A beat passed, and L quickly shook his head. “I won’t ask for details.”

Good, because Light wasn’t in the mood to give any. He had already had to tell too many teachers, too many family friends, too many neighbors what had happened. He hated recalling the story, because it poured salt into the gaping wound every time. Every time he spoke those words, the situation became more real. Every time he spoke of it, it felt as if it was happening all over again. And he despised when people would nod their heads, and sympathy and pity would contort their features. He hated their empty condolences and apologies. It wasn’t good enough, and he didn’t need anything from them. They uttered those words because it was the right thing to say, not because they meant them. They probably thought that’s what he needed. But it wasn’t, they would never understand what he needed. 

“Thank you.” Light said simply. “I don’t feel like sharing any.”

“I understand.” L said, and when their eyes locked, Light felt something stir inside of him. It was…some unknown emotion that was unnameable. Was it understanding? They way the other’s eyes softened and filled with a dark light, he felt at home. He felt a kinship with this new boy, even though they had barely been speaking for ten minutes. He knew intrinsically that he was seen, and that L did in fact understand him. How? Light didn’t know. A silent bond passed between the two that made Light’s breathing slow.

“Did your parents die?” Light softly asked, before backtracking slightly. “I didn’t know if everyone’s parents were dead…you don’t have to tell me.”

“Some of the orphans never knew their parents, some were left in hospitals or on doorsteps. Some parents died during childbirth, and some were murdered.” L revealed. “But, yes, my parents are dead.”

Light nodded, maybe that was why L understood him. He was an orphan, like the rest of these children now, but it was different to never know your parents. It hurt worse if you had known them, and shared your life with them. L understood that pain, that sense of loss.

“You didn’t ask for details, but I’ll tell you some anyway.” L carried on after Light had failed to say anything. “They died when I was five. Well, my father died when I was four. I never knew him, my mother told me he was an addict. But, I couldn’t really trust anything she told me because she was an addict too. I don’t know what she were addicted to….only that she always seemed vacant. I found her slumped over the kitchen table one day, and I left. I didn’t know what else to do, so I lived on the street for about a year or so before Mr. Wammy found me.”

“You were homeless?” Light asked, slightly taken aback. He couldn’t even imagine how awful that had been. Living without a roof over one’s head, with no food or clothes or love. It was a terrifying notion, one he hoped he’d never have to live through. He suddenly wanted to know more about this boy. He now knew that behind those dark eyes secrets lie. Untold horrors and nightmares. 

L nodded. “It was horrible.”

“Do you ever miss them?” Light shifted uncomfortably. He didn’t want to talk about his emotions at all, but he wanted to know if L was similar in that regard. He wanted to know if it ever got better, or if it would always remain a dull ache in the back of his mind.

“Sometimes.” L answered, his eyes closing as he seemed to relive a memory. “I miss what they could have been. On television shows I always see these happy families that are filled with love, and I wish that I could have had that. But I didn’t even have that love when my parents were alive.”

“Oh.” Light didn’t know what else to say. He could say sorry, but he had a feeling L wouldn’t appreciate that. There was nothing to be sorry for, that was just how life was.

“Do you miss your parents?”

Light bit his lip. It was only fair that L be able to ask the same question, but he didn’t want to answer it honestly. He missed them with every breath he took, with every second that passed by. Sometimes he hoped that he would wake up in his old bed, and realize that it had just been a nightmare. That he would run into his parents bed room and find their chests rising and falling with life. It still wasn’t real, not quite. He didn’t ever know if it would ever seem completely real. How could he accept that his parents were simply gone? He recognized the hole in his heart, he had been to the funeral so he knew that it was true. But, his brain couldn’t make sense of it. He still had the faintest hope that he would see them again, no matter how foolish that sounded.

“I wish they were still here.” Is what Light answered with, deciding on a half truth. “I want them to come back for me. I don’t like thinking that they’re dead.”

L nodded, and Light rushed to assure him that he wasn’t delusional. “I know they’re dead though, I just-“

“You haven’t accepted it yet.” L finished for him. “When did it happen?”

“A week ago.” Light responded listlessly. “There was a funeral.”

“Open coffins?”

“They were cremated.” Light let out a breath of air, running his small fingers through his ruffled brown hair. “Their physical forms are already gone.”

“But they won’t be forgotten.” L suddenly spoke. “Mr. Wammy always tells us that our parents are with us always, no matter what.”

“I hope.” Light whispered, the air inside of his new room growing thick. It was a nice thought, but he couldn’t believe it. While he somehow still thought that this was all a dream, he also knew that it wasn’t. He felt his parents absence fully, as if someone had stabbed a knife of truth into his heart. He felt empty, and alone. Maybe they were somewhere out there, but they weren’t with him anymore.

“Wammy’s house isn’t so bad.” L cleared his throat, changing the subject which Light was ever so grateful for. “You’ll get used to it.”

“What are the other children like?” Light questioned, he had only seen L so far. He had never lived with other children, his baby sister didn’t count. These were going to be children his age, it would be like being in school all of the time. He just hoped they weren’t loud or obnoxious. He liked learning in school, but he had never found much in common with his classmates. He had been too advanced for them, and he found that he couldn’t relate to anyone. But he had been told this school was for gifted children, so maybe he would find other like-minded individuals to socialize with. L seemed okay, he seemed like a person Light could get along with.

“I don’t hang around with many of the orphans.” L admitted. “My friends are okay, though. Sometimes they can be annoying, but they’re always interesting. I must admit, I find it hard to get along with dull children who are only interested in playing with toys.”

Light nodded, he himself found toys to be a general waste of time. That’s what his father had told him, anyway. He had bought Light books and puzzles instead of stuffed animals. He liked to think he was better off because of that. 

“Well, if your friends are like you then they’ll probably be okay.” Light responded, swinging his legs over the bed. “You don’t seem boring.”

“I appreciate that.” L told him, amusement creeping into his voice. “I promise, nothing around here is boring."

At that moment, Light’s door suddenly swung open, nearly making him fall off of the bed in surprise. In trampled about five other children, and the room’s air suddenly became thick with energy. Light sat back against his wall as he took in the eager faces now regarding him curiously. All of their eyes brimmed with that same intensity L’s had, and they seemed enraptured by him. It made Light’s skin itch, as if a thousand worms had burrowed under his skin into his very being. He did not like being stared t as if he was some rare specimen.

“Hi.” One of the boys finally broke the silence, extending a hand towards Light. Light just stared at the outstretched limb, not sure if the boy meant to hit him or not. “I’m A, your room mate.”

This is said in English, so Light just cocks his head.

“He’s from Japan.” L spoke from beside him, as Light took in the fact that this was who would be occupying his personal space. “They don’t shake hands there, they bow. Remember? And speak japanese.”

“Right. Sorry, I'm A. I'm your new room mate.” A’s green eyes filled with understanding behind his round glasses, and he hastily bowed. Light dipped his head in return, and felt his muscles go lax. This boy didn’t seem so bad. While it would be a challenge to get used to sharing a room, the boy’s tone seemed polite enough. Light guessed that he was probably soft-spoken, due to the low tone he had spoken to him in. He had also introduced himself first, so he was definitely friendly. 

“I’m B.” The boy from beside him announced. Shockingly, he resembled L quite a lot. Save for his red eyes, which Light was mystified by, he had the same striking features. His nose was sharp and angular, and his skin was almost as white as Light’s comforter. His own hair, which was actually a deep brown instead of black, stood up in the same spiky way that L’s did. His lips were curled into an impish smirk, and Light found himself returning the gesture unconsciously.

“I’m Light.” Light told him, bowing in the same way that he had to A. “That’s not my real name, it’s my new name.”

“Why Light?” A blonde suddenly spoke, taking a step forward to pick up the book that had fallen off of Light’s bed. This boy’s hair was longer than everyone else’s, and fell just above his shoulders. Their eyes met, and Light was struck how fiery his eyes were despite the fact that they were a cool shade. 

Light gingerly accepted the book, and placed it on his lap. “It’s a nickname.” He told the boy, because L had told him to pick out a nickname.

“It’s nice.” A red-headed boy commented, slinging his arm around the blonde’s shoulders. “I’m Matt, and this is Mello. It’s funny, because he’s the exact opposite of anything ‘mellow’.”

“Don’t sully my good name.” Mello grumped, folding his arms across his chest. “I’m excitable, that’s what nurse Becca says.”

“Roger calls him a ball of fire.” Matt stage whispered, earning an elbow in the ribs from the blonde. Light smirked, he could definitely tell that Mello was much more than excitable. He didn’t know who the people they were referring to were, but he assumed they were teachers he would meet in the future. 

“And I’m Near.” A softer voice offered from beside the closed door. The boy seemed smaller than the rest, though Light guessed he wasn’t much younger. His eyes were dark like L’s, and they stared at him owlishly. He twirled a piece of stark white hair between his fingers, and Light assumed that he must be some kind of albino. He had only seen hair that white on the elderly. But, pointing it out would be rude so he simply bowed his head and shot the boy a smile. 

“Near isn’t important.” Mello scoffed. “Light’s gonna be my friend, not yours!”

“Mello.” A sighed, folding his arms across his chest. “Don’t start.”

“Yellow Mello and casper have a bit of a feud going on.” B chuckled, walking over to A’s bed and sitting down with a large thump. “Blondie verses whitie!"

“If you call me ‘yellow Mello’ one more time-“ Mello spun around, stalking over to the other boy to throw a pillow over his face. “I’ll eat your pudding for tomorrow!”

“You can have my pudding.” B stuck his tongue out, wiggling his eyebrows. “See if I care.”

“Then I’ll have your jam!”

B’s red eyes widened, and he jumped up to push the blonde. “Don’t you dare threaten my jam!” He screeched, and Light just watched in horror as the two fell in a scuffle on the ground. Really? There were fights here? He frowned, all of the comfort he had previously felt left his body immediately. He made a silent vow to never mess with either of these boys.

“You two, knock it off.” Matt scowled. With surprising strength, he suddenly ripped the blonde off of B, and held his shoulders firmly. “You’re scaring Light, he doesn’t realize you two are play fighting.”

“I know that.” Light scoffed, though he wasn’t so sure that was truly the case when he saw a small tuff of brown hair between Mello’s fingers. 

“Are you going to come down for dinner?” A questioned. “We’re having spaghetti tonight.”

Light wrinkled his nose. His mother had tried to make spaghetti once, but it had turned out too bitter and the noodles had been mushy. He probably would’t be able to request meals now, and would have to eat whatever was served. It wasn’t as if he was going to complain about it, though. He would eat whatever he was given with a smile on his face, it was only polite. “Yes, I’ll come down.”

“We have the best table in all of the house.” B bragged, slinging his arm over Light’s shoulder. Light started at the contact, but allowed the boy to lead him out the door. 

“Only because I chose it.” Mello bragged, and B shot him a sour look.

“Don’t manhandle him B.” L sighed from behind him, and Light looked over his shoulder to see L give him a conspiratorial wink. Light smiled and allowed B and Mello to chatter into his ear as he walked down the long wooden staircase. 

Maybe he could start a new life here. Maybe everything wouldn’t be so bad. A small fragment of hope formed in his heart before he could crush it and he allowed it to stay, for now. 

As he made his way down to the dining room, and looked out the window to see the sliver of the moon that was present, he heard the ringing of bells.


	2. Rotten World

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> New chapter!¢‿¢ How are you all doing today? Good, I hope!
> 
> This is ten years after the prologue, and Light is seventeen about to turn eighteen. A lot happens in this chapter, still nothing to do with the Kira case though. Well, not directly at least haha.
> 
> The timeline in this story is different. I looked up the anime timeline, and the entrance exams were in January. But since Matt's birthday is February 1st and had already passed, and Light's birthday is coming up, the entrance exams are in March. And the Kira case had just begun, the killings probably started in January The year is 2006, also. L is going to Japan to work on the Kira case nowish, and the Lind L. Tailor incident will be discussed in the next chapter. I hope that all makes sense:)
> 
> Also, forgive me for this chapter being so dark haha. I wanted to add in a few fluffy moments, but the opportunity never really presented itself. I wanted to show the abuse at Wammy's, and how toxic that environment was. So TW, but I don't think any of the abuse is too bad from a physical point of view. Just a warning that the teachers in this story are complete dicks haha. I also wanted to give a background for why Light...well...for what his motivations are. I have to give him a purpose, some trauma haha. 
> 
> Okay, so. I hope you all enjoy the chapter! I'm so excited for all of the feedback I've received already, so thank you for that! Keep it coming, any thoughts, questions, or comments hehe. Reviews make me days brighter:))

The clock on the wall ticked by painfully slowly. One of the teachers, Mr. Hamlin or whoever the fuck, was droning on about yet another case that should be soooo easy to solve. Well, if it’s so easy, why doesn’t he do it? Exactly. 

Light blows a piece of brown fringe away from his eyes, without making it obviously that he’s blowing air out of his mouth due to boredom. He knows this. He knows how and when and why L solved this case.

It had been a kidnapping case. A man had been kidnapped and the ‘kidnappers' had demanded ransom money for his safe return. And Light knew exactly how L had solved it. Not because L himself had told him, but because he had hacked into his case files. Yes, even though Matt was the resident hacker around the house, that didn’t mean that he hadn’t of developed skills of his own. He just kept them hidden, and used them for his own purposes. It wasn’t as if he was committing some crime by not letting people know how well versed he was in the technological plane. L got to solve cases, so why shouldn’t he?

This place was so boring, for a supposed ‘advanced school for genii.’ He knew all of the material. He knew how to be a great detective, and he knew all the tricks of the trade. He had for quite some time, but unlike L he wasn’t allowed to leave the premises. L himself had even said that Light should be first in line to be his successor. 

That idea, however, had offended Light beyond belief. Not that he had ever told L this, but he didn’t want to be another L. He didn’t want to wait until L died to make something of himself. Not only was the mere idea morbid, but Light was his own person. He was great in his own right, and he wanted to be brilliant not just because he had grown up in L’s shadow. 

“Can anyone tell me why L realized this man was not being truthful?” The teacher droned, looking around the classroom. “How did L solve this case?”

Silence. Light would raise his hand, but it was pointless. He wasn’t going to pander to underpaid adults who thought they knew so much more than him. Plus, Mello give him an earful and a half if he managed to chime in with the right answer. Not that that was necessarily hindering him, he just didn’t have the patience for it today. Everything was always so competitive here, and for what?

“Anyone?” The teacher asked again, giving the teens a stern glare. “This is elementary everyone, you all should know the answer.”

Light felt his neck flush with anger, but refused to give this man what he wanted. Now it was a pride thing. This teacher thought he was inept? Let him think that! Light knew exactly what he knew, and he didn’t have to prove himself. No, this was just an attempt at goading the answer out of some poor schmuck. The other students either recognized this trick for what is was and were in the same boat as him, or they truly didn’t know. Light found that hard to believe, especially because Mello and B were in this class. Besides him, they were always the two to pipe up with answers. 

“Mello!” Mr. Hamlin suddenly barked out, making Light unconsciously sit up straighter with a start. No matter how many times he heard the adults around here yelling, he never got used to it. Yelling was bad. It meant you had failed at something, and you were in trouble. No one wanted to fail. “Are you paying attention?”

“Yes sir.” Mello’s voice was loud, but Light could hear the undertone of meekness it possessed. He had been around the blonde long enough to recognize when he was actually annoyed verses trying to put on a good front. Looking at the other through his peripheral, he found that Mello was now sat straight as a board inside of his flimsily wooden desk. Light felt a stab of pity as he saw Mello’s blue eyes dart nervously from the window back to his teacher, and noticed when his cheek slightly sunk in. That meant he must have bitten himself to keep his cool. 

“Really?” Mr. Hamlin drawled, making himself as big as a peacock and strutting over to Mello’s desk. He crossed his arms over his beer belly, and gave Mello the look one might give a naughty mutt who had just soiled the floor. Light kept his eyes trained to the chalkboard, because it was rude to stare. He knew how humiliating it was to be called out in front of the whole class for a simple mistake. He didn’t blame Mello, he liked to look outside of the window too whenever he was seated next to it. At least sometimes a squirrel would scurry across the yard. That was more entertaining than Mr. Hamlin’s droll lecturing. 

“Because I thought I saw your chin in your hand.” Mr. Hamlin said, and Light could imagine the grin that overtook the man’s face. Sometimes he thought that the teachers secretly took pleasure in this irritating song and dance. “I thought I saw you looking outside, with your head in the clouds. Now, that’s not very focused, is it?”

“I wasn’t looking out the window, sir.” Mello muttered angrily. “I was just-“

“Then I suppose you can answer my question.” The man interrupted, pacing up to the front of the classroom and gesturing to the chalkboard for that extra drama. “How did L solve this case?”

A tense silence permeates the room, and Light swore he could hear everyone’s heart start to race. He knew what they were all thinking. Would Mello answer correctly? Would he be punished in front of the whole class if he failed? Am I next? Sadly, Light knew they were all secretly glad they had not been called on. Sometimes the classroom felt like a gladiator pit, where it was every man for himself. 

“He solved it..” Mello started slowly, and Light nearly sighed. Mello was dragging this out, he was fighting for time. He could almost feel the cogs of the other’s mind turning, he could almost feel the anxiety that was probably crawling up his spine. It was not a pleasant feeling to be put on display, and know that everyone would witness your public defeat. It also probably didn’t help that this was the one class Mello didn’t share with Matt. The red head grounded him, somehow. He was what made Mello…well, mellow. Though he had never alluded to anything of the sort, Light knew that the blonde wasn’t the same when Matt was absent. 

“He solved it by realizing that the kidnappers hadn’t of asked for the money to be dropped off in the previous place they had ordered.” Mello suddenly spoke confidently. “They changed the drop-off address at the last minute. That’s how he knew that they were inexperienced, or rather, that it was actually the kidnappee himself trying to pull a fast one!"

Light felt his heart sink at what he knew was to come. 

“Incorrect.” The teacher shook his head solemnly. 

“Incorrect?” Mello sputtered. “How is that incorrect? I know I’m right, you son of a-“

“I suggest you keep your mouth shut if you know what’s good for you.” Mr. Hamlin snapped, pacing around the room once more because he could. “Let’s see, who has the right answer?”

Light resisted the urge to faceplate when Mr. Hamlin’s beady brown eyes fell upon him. The man looked like a cobra about to strike. “Light, can you tell us the correct answer?”

Light made sure his spine was straight and that his mouth was drawn up into a friendly smile before answering. He could feel Mello’s blue eyes burning a hole into his back, but he hardly cared. What was he supposed to do? Publicly humiliate himself as well when he knew the answer just to protect Mello’s ego? No, friendships were put aside once one entered the classroom. Light knew his role, and even though he thought the coursework was a fat load, that didn’t mean he wasn’t still instinctively terrified of failure. 

“He knew that Mr. Malone was lying because when he came into the police station, L saw that his clothes were neat.” Light answered easily, making sure to keep his voice devoid of all self-satisfaction. “Not one hair was out of place, and his suit looked ironed. The conditions that the man described being held in would not of allowed for him to look so put together.”

“Correct.” Mr. Hamlin nodded, and his smile really irked Light. “Once again, Light is the only one who knows the correct answer.”

“Mello was right in his conclusion, though.” Light said softly, not being able to help himself. He knew how foolish it was to stick up for someone about to be punished, but he also couldn’t help the fact that he wanted to help the other out. He knew how it felt to be publicly scorned. “Mr. Malone was trying to collect money from his father by pretending-“

“That’s enough.” Mr. Hamlin interrupted firmly, and Light tried not to let his expression falter. He simply dipped his head, and allowed for his mouth to close. He certainly did not want to be punished as well. Light detested punishment, because it was a blow to his very being. He was not supposed to be put in corner time or made to draw on the whiteboard, he was a perfect student with perfect grades who always knew the perfect thing to stay. He couldn’t stand disappointing those in charge, no matter how little his opinion of them was.

“Mello, I want you to sit up here with me for the rest of the class.” Mr. Hamlin told him, his eyes lighting up as he doled out his punishment. Maybe the teachers were just as bored as him, and somehow found an excitement in public humiliation of those who could not stand up fro themselves. “That way I can make sure your eyes don’t wander for the rest of the hour."

“That’s not fair!” Mello protested. “I told you I wasn’t-“

“Now Mello.” Mr. Hamlin snapped, pointing the the chair beside his desk. “Or would you like detention for the rest of the week as well?”

Quiet, angry mumbling was heard from beside him as the sound of a chair being scraped back filled the room. Mello stalked up the the front of the class, before forcefully seating himself on the wooden chair. His features were tight with barely concealed rage, but the blonde knew that he couldn’t allow himself too many more detentions. Lest he loose his place in the successor program. His fists clenched at his sides and Light knew he was resisting the urge to cross his arms over his chest.

This may not have seemed like a very harsh punishment, but it was to anyone who knew anything. The chair was like a bright spotlight of shame. Everyone knew that whoever sat in that chair had made a mistake, and they were now put on display for silent judgement. It was psychological humiliation, and that was enough of a punishment. At Wammy’s, one was meant to succeed without falter. The chair meant you had faltered. The chair meant you hadn’t of been the best that day, and if you weren’t better than your best, than you weren’t good enough. Mello stared ahead, his fiery blue eyes focused on something the the back of the classroom. Giving a reaction to the punishment would accomplish nothing, and would only humiliate him further. 

“Hopefully in the future, you will decide to pay attention.” Mr Hamlin told him stiffly, not done with exacting his pound of flesh. “If one hopes to be a great detective, they must always be focused at the task at hand. If you get the answer wrong, your whole case suffers a setback. One does not get the title of ‘World’s Greatest Detective’ by looking out the window and daydreaming. You can’t allow your mind to wander, Mello. Just look at Light, he knew the correct answer. And that’s why he is first in line in the successor program.”

Light felt Mello’s glare turn back onto him, and he resisted the urge to scowl. Instead, he kept his face a perfect blank canvas, like he always did. A blank canvas that could be molded into anything he wanted, into anything that was fitting for the time. 

He hated the way that the students were pitted against one another. He hated how competitive everything was. How everyday was a gnashing of teeth and a scraping of claws just to get by. But no matter how much he hated the competition, he loved it even more.

He knew what they were doing. He was too smart to play naive. But he didn’t care. The praise was addicting, like a sweet kind of heroin. He thrived on being the best, because that was in his nature. That was in his instinct. Wammy’s house had allowed that need to fester, and now it was an uncontrollable desire he could not contain. Even though he didn’t want to be L, he wanted to be better than L. He wanted everyone to know that he was the best, above everyone else. No matter how narcissistic that thought was, it was true. Light needed to be perfect in every way. 

It was why he had risen to the top of the class after his first year at Wammy’s. He had struggled at first, because this type of schoolwork would never be taught in a normal school. He had had to train his body to wake up before the sun did, and to only get tired after the witching hour. Because L didn’t sleep, so why should anyone else? He had trained himself to not only learn english, but also latin, spanish, russian, german, hebrew, french, mandarin, and portuguese. He had learned to memorize full-length novels in the span of three hours, and he had studied so hard that his head had ached for days. 

At Wammy’s, one couldn’t simply be their best. They had to be better than everyone else’s best. That was why he had learned how to analyze crime scenes at the age of nine. That was why he had started investing in stocks when he was ten. It was why he knew every form of self defense ever created and he knew the best interrogation tactics to make someone crack. Even though he was a month shy of turning eighteen, Light was more knowledgeable than ninety-eight percent of even the most esteemed officers of the law. He was almost as good as L, but of course not good enough. No one was better than L, that was the second most important thing one learned at Wammy’s house. 

Light tried not to blame L, he really didn’t. He knew it wasn’t L’s fault, and he knew how it felt when someone turned bitter towards you solely because of your accomplishments. L never treated anyone differently, anyway. That was all Quillsh and Roger. They needed back ups, and since L was their claim to fame if the real one ever died then they would be in trouble. The general public were supposed to think that L was a program, a robot. The title of L was meant to last for eternity and then some, the 'World’s Greatest Detective’ could never die, because he was justice. Justice could not be killed. So, therefore, there had to be multiple Ls in the work. 

And even though being first in line was a prestigious honor, Light still didn’t want it. Even though he was competitive and driven, he used that to further himself. And L was his friend. Maybe something more, but Light was only comfortable of thinking of him as a friend. Though sometimes he resented L and wanted to be an even greater detective than he was, he never told L this. Sometimes he wouldn’t even admit this thought to himself. 

No, Light didn’t want to be a robotic voice behind a computer. He wanted to go out into the real world and experience life for what it was. Even though it was a foolish dream compared to what he had studied for, Light wanted to hold the same job his father had. He wanted to go back to Japan and become the greatest chief of police that anyone had ever known. He wanted to make his father proud, wherever he was. And, truthfully, Light had never thought of Wammy’s house as his home. Sure, it was a nice house he had spent his entire childhood at. He loved the countryside, and he was fond of all of his friends. But, something had always seemed off. There was always an echo, a whisper in his mind that told him that this was all wrong. That he didn’t belong. That this was a temporary blip in his timeline, and what lie ahead was even more brilliant. He wanted to leave England, and go back to Japan. Because even after all of this time, he missed his true home.

Light knew that L was coming back from his case tomorrow. It was then that he was going to ask L to ask Quillsh to allow him to go back to Japan. He knew that leaving this place wouldn’t be easy, especially since he was in the successor program. Everyone expects him to graduate and then go of to travel and work with L, especially because of their relationship. No matter how little everyone knew of L and Light, they knew L was the closest to him. And he especially didn’t want any misconceptions that he had slept his way to the top of the school. No, he thought his achievements spoke for himself, he had gotten this far on his own.

He knew that L was the only person besides Roger that Quillsh listened to. And that old coot was certainly not going to let Light go without a fight. No, Quillsh was like a father to L, and he his son. If Light could convince L to make the argument that he should be able to spread his wings, he would be home free. Of course he would miss his friends, he would miss L. But L was always gone anyways. And Light was sick of the institution. He hated being told what to do, he hated being a pawn in some kind of rat race. He was sick of being viewed as some prized possession, rather than a person. He wanted to live a normal life, go to a normal college, and make normal friends. No matter how droll that sounded, it also excited him. He was ready for a change. 

And no matter how special or advanced this school was, it still bored him to tears. He was ready for something new, he was ready to simply be Light Yagami. He was ready to take the world into his own hands and do something extraordinary. 

After all, he had always been told that he was destined for greatness. 

-

“Guess who?”

Light looked up from his copy of The Art of War the smile at the head that had just peaked through his door. There L stood, in all of his glory. The raven sent him a smile, the kind of smile that was contagious and forced Light’s own lips to curve up as well.

“Hi L.” He stood up, rushing over to give the other a hug. The excitement of seeing the other after two whole months seeped through his pores, wrapping him in a fuzzy blanket of happiness. He would never admit it out loud, and he didn’t need to because L could always understand him, but reuniting with L was one of the only thing he looked forward to. Though he had other friends, they weren’t L. No one was like L. He was special.

“Are you alone?” L questioned, pulling Light back to run his hands over his shoulders. His eyes darted around the empty room. “Where’s A?”

“He and B are studying for a test.” Light answered, and smiled when L reached forward to capture his lips inside of a kiss.

“Good.” L mumbled. “Then that means I’m free to do this.”

Light held back his school girl giggle, because respectable men did not giggle. He allowed L’s soft but chapped lips to roam over his own for a few seconds, before he pulled away to sit on the bed. Kisses were nice, but he had much more important matters on his mind.

“I missed you.” Light started, as L made his way over to his bed to sling an arm over his shoulders and pull him close. He sunk into the other’s warmth, feeling the soft skin of his neck against his forehead. L was always so warm, despite the fact that he was pale as a ghost and sometimes looked like a vampire.

“I missed you too.” L told him, running a hand up and down his arm. A shiver went up Light’s spine and he fought the urge to jump the other. He was wiser than to listen to base urges. Well, most of the time. “But soon you’ll be able to come with me, just a few more months.”

Light frowned, which luckily L didn’t see due to the angle they were sitting in. So L did expect Light to follow ion his footsteps. Light should’ve known, but that was going to make his request all that harder. Because he liked L, he really truly liked him and hated disappointing him. But he was not going to be some second in command, some glorified assistant. Light Yagami would never be second to anyone. 

“I wanted to talk to you about that.” Light bit his cheek, trying to find a way to phrase his desire delicately. Well, L didn’t like to play guessing games. He preferred those around him to get straight to the point, to be blunt and honest. Especially Light. He knew that L didn’t like it when he would run circles and dance around an issue. He might as well just come out with it, because there was no way to make asking for this easier. “I think I’d like to go to university.”

He could feel L’s muscles tense and a beat of silence surrounded the pair. A thick silence that Light could cut in two with a butcher’s knife if he so pleased. He could feel L’s confusion, and disappointment. “What university?”

“I’ve been looking at a few in Japan.” Light said lowly, picking a stray piece of lint off of L’s jeans. “Tohoku University, The University of Tokyo, To-Oh, places like that…”

“Are all of the universities you’ve looked at in Japan?”

Light nearly sighed, L didn’t have to sound so depressed by that fact. “I miss Japan.”

“You haven’t been there since you were seven.”

“Which is why I miss it.” Light couldn’t keep the edge out of his voice, mentally rolling his eyes. He knew that L would put up a fight about him leaving, but it wasn’t as if he was going to another planet. 

“There are universities here.” L pointed out, which Light knew that he would. “There’s The University of Cambridge, Oxford-“

Light sat up, running a hand through his brunette mane. He knew that England had prestigious schools that he could easily get into, but that wasn’t the point. The point was that he wanted to go back to his homeland, he wanted to be surrounded by his culture and his people. He wanted to spend his adult life back in Japan, because he yearned for the nostalgia it would bring. Whenever he thought of his future, he always saw himself back in Japan. The country called to him, and he really didn’t want to go anywhere else. L never really had a home, so of course he wouldn’t get it. His home was wherever his current case was. 

“I know.” Light finally said, cutting off L’s list of schools. “But I would really like to go home.”

“You don’t consider Wammy’s to be your home?” L muttered, with that stinging hurt injected into his voice.

“Do you?” Light countered. “I thought you’d get it, you’re always traveling around.”

“But I always come back here.” 

“It’s not like I’d leave forever.” Light tried to placate. “I want to go back to where I grew up. I…want a chance to live my own life.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” L demanded, and Light resisted the urge to sigh. Of course L would take his comment as a personal attack, rather than what it was. L had never gotten the atmosphere of Wammy’s house, and he never would. Not that this was necessarily his fault, but he had begun to travel for cases when he was only ten. He had private tutors to teach him, and he had done basic coursework online. 

And whenever L would actually come back to join in the classes, he had never received the same treatment that the rest of the orphans had. He was never publicly humiliated for not knowing an answer. He had never had to be subjected to doing chores or completing meaningless busywork. He had never been held up to a standard, because he was the standard. The adults at Wammy’s had made sure that L was put on a lonely pedestal that the rest of them had to fight tooth and nail to even attempt to come close to. L just didn’t understand how toxic this environment was, because he was the favorite.

And even though Light knew that L wasn’t doing anything malicious on purpose, it still stung. L probably didn’t know all of the injustices and hardships the rest of them endured, and Light couldn’t blame him for it. But it didn’t mean he didn’t resent some of the advantages L had been given simply because he was Quillsh’s favorite. L had been the first orphan to solve a case, he had been the first orphan Quillsh had taken an interest in. It was dumb luck that L had gotten the longest straw, nothing else. If it had been Light who was found first, he suspected their roles would be reversed. 

“It just means that I want a change.” Light responded, slowly standing up to walk around the room. The white walls were covered with different action movie posters that A liked, and a world map. His gaze wandered over to a poster he had gotten for christmas. It was of one of his favorite animes, Neon Genesis Evangelion. He took the angels in, his eyes tracing over their deformed bodies. He had always wondered if that was what real angels looked like. 

“I’m not saying that I hate it here or anything.” Light continued softly. “But…if my parents hadn’t of died then I would’ve gone to university in Japan. I would’ve lived my whole life in Japan, and I often wonder how that would’ve changed me. I’d like to live my adult life in some degree of normalcy, it has nothing to do with you. But I’m young, and I don’t want to look back at my life and regret not taking a chance.”

“Normalcy isn't all it’s cracked up to be.” He heard L scoff from behind him. “You’d get bored with living an everyday life.”

“I didn’t say I’d live an ‘everyday life’.” Light didn’t turn around, but raised his hands up to make some obnoxious air quotes. “I just want to live life like everyone else. I want to be great because of my own achievements.”

“You are great because of your own achievements.” L said. “I don’t understand why you feel the need to prove to the general population that your great. Everyone here thinks your great, I think your great, you're first in line in the successor program for crying out loud!”

“But that means I’m still second to you!” Light snapped. “Have you ever considered that maybe I don’t want to be another L? That maybe I want to be Light Yagami, and find my own way in life?”

Another deadly silence filled the air, and Light wanted to slap himself. L had that way about him that Light sometimes couldn’t control what burst out of his mouth. If L could manage to get Light riled up, he would just end up saying something rude. Light didn’t like to be rude, so he sighed, and turned around to sit on A’s bed. L was still crouching in his signature toad crouch, but his big black eyes were narrowed with annoyance.

“I didn’t mean anything bad by that.” Light began stiffly. “It’s juts that….well, you’re L. No one else. And I’m Light, I want to-“

“I know.” L interrupted. “You don’t want to live in my shadow.”

“It’s not that I’m not grateful for the training I’ve received here.” Light defended, scratching his leg awkwardly. “I mean, I like my friends and I like you. This place will always be where I grew up, and I’ll never leave here forever. I just need a change.”

“A change.” L parroted. “And that change can’t be you working with me?”

“Not right now.” Light shook his head. “I want to be able to make my own decisions about my life, isn’t that what being an adult is all about?”

L made some grumpy noise in the back of his throat, and raised his thumb to his mouth. “…I just don’t like the idea of you leaving.” He admitted, finally. 

Light felt a pang in his heart, but decided to ignore it. He didn’t think it would be very helpful to voice his own thoughts that L always left anyways. So he kept that thought to himself. 

“That’s what phones and emails are for, L.” He told the other. “I’m not going off the grid or anything, and I’ll still come back for holidays.” He didn’t know if that was the truth, but he had to make the idea a little more appealing to L. 

“If this is what you really want,” L started, finally looking up to lock eyes with Light. “I’ll talk to Mr. Wammy and Roger about letting you go to Japan and take exams.”

Light’s heart thumped a little louder as L’s obsidian orbs filled with melancholy, and they seemed to shine with uncertainty. He didn’t like that look. He didn’t like L feeling like this was the end of something. 

“Thank you.” He murmured slowly, going over to sit by L. He leaned against his shoulder lightly, so lightly that he wasn’t sure if L would think it was purposeful. “I don’t even know if I’ll get in.”

“Light, don’t act coy for the sake of my feelings.” L scoffed. “Of course you’ll get in. You’d be the only student worth having.”

Light tried to bite back the smug smile that was coming over his face, but it was no use. He was used to compliments, but it was still nice to hear them. It reminded him that he was noticed, and valued. It was nice to know that everyone around him saw him just as he wanted them to. 

“How was the case?” He changed the subject, knowing that if L dwelled on his future plans any longer he’d start making small suggestions that would turn into a whole different plan. The raven sighed from beside him.

“Fine. It was harder this time because I was dealing with fuckwits, but then again I’m always dealing with fuckwits so nothing new one that front.” He laid his head on Light’’s shoulder, and the brunette could almost feel the tension leaving his body. “One of the officers got chip dust on the murder weapon. CHIP DUST, Light. I mean honestly, how hard is it to eat cleanly without muddying everything up? It was some kind of cheese dust, and so that set us back aways.”

“I hate incompetence.” Light told him, and he really did. Officers of the law were supposed to be respectable, and he hated when the more useless ones would perpetuate the bumbling clowns stereotypes that cops in the movies were always labeled with. Even as a seventeen year old, Light knew how to handle his affairs with responsibility and class. And it wasn’t even thanks to the school that he had grown up in. He just knew how not to be an imbecile. It wasn’t that hard, honestly. “Did you fire him?”

“Of course I did. It was one of the highlights of the case.” L sighed dreamily, and for a moment Light was envious that he hadn’t of ben able to witness it. 

“Funnily enough, the new case I’m assigned to is taking place in Japan.” L continued, and Light felt himself sit up straighter, his ears perked with newfound interest. That was odd. Maybe not that odd, but it was a big coincidence. And Light didn’t believe in coincidences, coincidences were just God’s way of staying anonymous. 

“Are you going on sight?” Light knew that L had gone to Japan to work on cases before, but he had always known after the fact. It was exciting to know that L was going back to his home country. Maybe if he reasoned with the other, L would consider bringing him along. 

“I am.” L confirmed. “INTERPOL said I’m the only one for the job.”

“You probably are.” Light told him, snickering. INTERPOL treated L as their own personal servant, because they knew no cases would ever be solved if the man did'  
t exist. At least he was compensated nicely. “Can you tell me any details?”

“Honestly, I think the whole thing’s been blown out of proportion.” L grumbled. “To me, it sounds like a giant conspiracy.”

“Why?”

“Mm, I can’t say much.” L sighed, and Light nodded. It must be of utmost importance then. Even though all of L’s cases were confidential, the raven would usually always confide in Light and ask for his advice. Why not this time though? It wasn’t as if Light had ever blabbed any of the details before? He felt a prickling of annoyance crawl up his spine, and swallowed thickly to ignore it. The case probably wasn’t all that special anyway. L was probably keeping it a secret for that extra dose of drama.

“I do know that I have a plan to see whether everything is coincidental or not.” L hummed. “If everything goes smoothly, you should know more. I doubt the media will be able to be kept tight-lipped. There are already rumors and stories.”

“What rumors?” Light pressed. 

“Mostly fantastical musings of bloggers. But I don’t want to talk about work, I’m exhausted.” 

Oh. Well, that condescending tone of voice is always sure to irk Light. So, he isn’t important enough to mull over case details with? He thought L knew better than that, but apparently not. Perhaps he’s still silently seething about Light wanting to be his own person. Well, two can play it that game. If letting internal hatred  
fester inside of oneself without the outward appearance of anything being wrong was an olympic sport, Light would get gold. If one knows his tells, they could maybe see the way his eye twitches, or his jaw tightens. Maybe they could see the way his eyes loose half of their light and become furious black holes. Light usually allows himself to suffer silently with his indignities, until it becomes useful to voice them. He’ll file away every hatred he has until they’re needed. Light doesn’t throw fits like Mello. He doesn’t go out of his way to bother everyone with his ailments like B. No, instead he practices his impression of a block of ice. Letting everyone know somethings wrong, but not giving them any clarity of what’s afflicting him. They can figure it out for themselves, he doesn’t have the time. 

He will find out what case L is being so tight-lipped about, anyway. He always does. 

“When are you leaving?” He asks instead, moving away to lie down on his bed. If L notices, he wisely doesn’t comment.

“Two days.” L says, running his hand down Light’s stomach. “So I’ll get to be home for a little while, at least.”

“Why don’t you ever take a break?” Light asks, even though he knows why. It just sounds nice to say, like he cares. Which, maybe he does. Maybe he does, but he won’t ponder about that now. These feelings are useless, and he’s had to force himself not to loose himself too much when L once again leaves. Because he always does, and no matter how much Light might like him, he is always aware of that fact. It’s like a small thorn in his side that pesky tweezers can’t pluck out. 

“Justice doesn’t sleep.” L smiles ruefully, letting his dark eyes settle somewhere onto the space above his head. The headboard, how could that be more interesting than him? “If I took a break, the whole world would probably loose their heads in madness.”

“There are other detectives.”

“Hm, yes. None as good as me, though. I didn’t get my title by sitting on my ass.”

“You got it by sitting on your feet.” Light responds pettishly, and L frowns.

“Are you annoyed by something I said?”

“No.” Light allows his head to sink deeper into the pillow. He’ll have to fluff it out, it’s gotten a bit flat. And it’s cold. Contrary to popular practices, he hates cold pillows. Any surface he lies on should always be warm, like he’s still floating around inside of the womb. His bed should be a cocoon, not an icebox. “Just tired.”

“Well, I’m sorry I can’t relate on that front.” L huffs out a half laugh, shaking his bangs away from his face.

“Are you going to get any rest at all during your stay?”

“Justice never sleeps.” L repeats, and Light allows his lips to stretch into a grin.

“Your name isn’t justice.”

“It might as well be.” L waves his hand in the air listlessly. “Sleep is too boring, anyway. I might miss something important while I’m out.”

“You just don’t like sleep because that’s the only thing that could keep you away from your sweets.”

“That might be true.” L sighs, settling down beside Light. The room seems to transport to another dimension where the only thing Light can hear is the gentle huffs of air leaving both their mouths. It’s everything and nothing, and he can’t understand why he feels content. It’s always been this way with L. He’ll come and lay next to Light and the two can stare at nothing for hours. They can just soak up the other’s presence, and nothing needs to be said or done. It’s horrifically perfect. It’s the sound of silence. It’s nice to be known in the silent way. It’s nice to just sit here, with L, and think of nothing in particular. It’s nice to have his presence.

Light is under no delusion that this is a forever thing. He’s too driven to stay in this place forever. But it’s a nice feeling, it’s a nice distraction. Best friends are for children, but L is the closest thing he has. L is an extension of him, one who’s nice to be around for just the right amount of time. But not too long, because Light already has enough of himself to live with. 

“Did you bring anything back?” Light finally questions lazily, blinking his heavy eyes and closing them to let blackness envelop his senses. L makes an amused snort.

“I didn’t leave the hotel room once. I brought back a small bottle of shampoo for you, but it’s chap shit so I decided to keep it.”

“You didn’t bring anything back for Matt? It was just his birthday.” Light fakes outrage, lazily placing his hand over his heart. Blotches of light dance in his vision.

“I bought him some video game online, it should have arrived by now.”

“Oh. Is it that zombie game where you have to eat as many brains as you can before the hunter kills you?” Light has heard the groaning noises coming from his room, and Matt looks more like a zombie because he stays up until ungodly hours of the night playing. He tried to play with Matt once, but found the whole affair boring. It was too easy, although maybe that was just the particular game he played. It wasn’t like cards or chess, those are the real games. Luckily A will play those with him so he gets some mental stimulation. 

“I don’t know.” L admits. “I pressed buy on the first game to come up.”

Light almost laughs at that, because L never really has put a lot of effort into buying presents. He did buy a watch for Light one time, and that was nice. It was an OMEGA Speedster MK II and it was for Christmas. He had been fourteen, and they had just shared their first kiss a week before. He doesn’t know if that had any influence in L’s decision, but it was the nicest present he had ever received. He’s wearing it now, and only really ever takes it off when he’s sleeping or showering or playing one of the extra curricular sports he’s signed up for. It’s silver and matches his person completely, it’s almost like it was made for him. The year after that L got him a scented candle and a horror movie, so he had decided that Christmas in 2002 was the best one he’d ever have. 

“Well, besides hacking and goofing around with Mello, I think that’s the game he’s been playing every night.” Light tells L. “So that must mean you made a good choice.”

“Goody.” L breathes, and Light feels an arm fall over his midsection, pulling him closer. “Your birthday is coming up soon, too.”

Light rolls his eyes behind his eyelids. He had never really understood birthdays. He was, admittedly, excited about this one however that was because he would finally be a legal adult. No more could anyone call him a child and look down upon him because he couldn’t drink alcohol or rent a flat. No, now he would be just like everyone else in the world. But he didn’t need cake or balloons to celebrate the occasion. It was just another day, and he didn’t know why L had to make such a fuss about it. Maybe it was a rather important day because it had been when the world was graced with his presence, after all. Yes, he’d think of it like that. His birthday was a national holiday. 

“It is.” Light agreed. “Won’t you be in Japan for your new case, though?”

“Well, what present would you like? I’ll call you.”

Light smirks to himself, his stomach growing warm. “Let’s see….I’d like to be told I have received the opportunity to go to Japan and take entrance exams.”

“That’s not something I can wrap.” L replies sourly. “I could get you a new book bag for university? You’ve had your old one since you were seven.”

“It has good luck.” Light defended lazily, rolling over on his side to press his nose into L’s shoulder. He still smelt the same, like lavender fabric softener and gingerbread. What an intoxicating smell, it nearly pulled Light under. “If you want to buy me anything, buy me a new set of pencils. B stole my last one. My last nice one, anyway.”

“Pencils?” L sounds aghast. “That sounds like a prank gift, or a gift you would give someone you hate. You’re turning eighteen and all you want are pencils?”

“Nice mechanical pencils.” Light corrects, opening his eyes to stare into L’s mischievously. “And anyway, for your birthday all you wanted was a chocolate cake.”

“And chocolate cupcakes.” L reminds him. “I can’t just get you a pack of pencils, Light.”

“Then get them engraved or get ones that have gold lead, I don’t care.”

“If I’m getting you anything,” L declares, wrapping his arms around him tighter. “I’m getting you a pen. A really fancy pen, something that is ridiculously expensive for what it is. Maybe I’ll get one with twenty-four carat gold details. Would you like a fancy pen, Light?”

“You can get me a pen.” Light agrees, because it would be nice to have an elegant pen. Pens are a step up from pencils, he supposes. “Just don’t go overboard.”

“Hm, that’s right.” L muses to himself. “Maybe I’ll have one imported from France! Oh! Or I’ll get one that’s covered in diamonds, or that’s been blessed by the pope. Yes, I can have fun with this.”

“We get it L, you shit out pounds.” Light sighs, but he doesn’t stop L’s musings. He would like a pen that screams wealth, that screams importance. He will be writing a lot if he goes to university. He writes a lot in his diary now, because he likes to plan his day out and write lists. He always wants to be responsible and ready for anything, and lists just show how responsible he is. A really nice writing tool would be a nice gift, and it would be hard for L to screw it up. Unless he gets one out of a bubblegum machine or stops at a gas station. “Just make sure it doesn’t look obnoxious.”

“So I can’t get one with feathers?” L pouts, pressing a kiss to Light’s cheek. 

“You can get me one with ruby’s.” Light replies cheekily. “No, I’m kidding. Get one that makes me look dignified.”

“Light, I could put you in a clown car and you’d still look dignified.”

“Oh, would I?” Light chuckles, getting up to crouch over L and press his forehead to his. He’s still so warm. “You think that highly of me?”

“I think everything of you.” L whispers, before pulling him down into another kiss.

-

“So help me God, you are going to regret this young man!”

Light stops, and lets go of L’s hand as they pass by a classroom. It’s Roger, and he sounds like he’s having a stroke. Probably over something minor, like always. Light doesn’t think he’s ever heard an adult yell as much as Roger does. His vocal chords must be in hell.

“For the last time, I swear my report got lost!” Oh, it’s B. Not that surprising, he always seems to be the one that gets yelled at the most by Roger. “I must have left it outside somewhere, and forgot where it was.”

Light knows that because B’s voice sounds lower than it normally does, that he must be lying. So, he didn’t do his homework. B usually doesn’t. Not because he isn’t smart enough, but because he thinks that homework is a waste of his talents. He takes it as a personal insult to his intellect, and goes on about L never having done any homework. B thinks that he’s better than L, and despises the fact that he is still kept in school while L gets to go out and do real work. He won’t do his homework because, in his mind, that’s letting the teachers win.

Not that Light thinks his reasoning is wrong, he just thinks that it’s pointless. It’s all a game, after all. One must play the game to win. The teachers and adults in charge give them hoops to jump through, and they must do as their told because that’s their role. Those older than the children have all the say, so there’s no use fighting it. Light finds it easier to pretend like he’s the perfect student, instead of throwing fits about how unjust the world is. 

He peeks inside of the classroom, even though he shouldn’t, just as he sees Roger land a light blow to the side of B’s head. He doesn’t think that it has hurt the boy, because the adults mostly hit them as a show of power. It’s more about the fact that Roger knows he can get away with it, and that’s why he does it. B has hit back a few times, as has Mello, but that only lands them in more hot water. This school is like something out of the stone ages, who still uses capital punishment? It’s just a sugary sweet term for abuse, in all actuality. Calling a cuff to the head ‘discipline’ doesn’t change the fact that it’s still abuse, it just sounds nicer.

“I don’t do excuses!” Roger snaps. “Excuses are like arseholes, everyone has them. You’re never going to get anywhere in life unless you take responsibility.”

“It’s not an excuse, you old coot!” B shouts back. “I’ll bring you a new report tomorrow if you’re going to loose your head over it, what’s the big deal? It’s not like any of this shit is actually important!”

“Light, you shouldn’t watch this.” L whispers disapprovingly, but Light just shrugs his shoulders. He wants to see how this will end. Call it morbid fascination, if you will. It’s like watching a lion stalk up to an unknowing gazelle. No, the gazelle knows what’s happening. It’s just too stubborn to accept it’s losses and run away. It thinks it can fight off the lion. Oh, B. 

“That attitude is what’s going to end you up on the streets.” Roger replies stiffly. “It astounds me that you haven’t been thrown out of the successor program yet, you are a disgrace to everything Wammys stands for!”

What does Wammy’s stand for again? Abuse of children? Light has forgotten. It’s not like this place would know what honor was if it hit them in the face. This orphanages motto should be ‘Work yourself into the grave, because hey, that’s what life is all about!’

“You just know that I’m too advanced for all this horseshit.” B scoffs. “Newsflash, busywork isn't going to do jack shit. I’m already the smartest student here, I’m just pushed into the shadows because all of you know that I can’t be controlled!”

“I’ve heard enough.” Roger sniffs coldly. “You will clean the whole first floor by midnight tonight, is that understood?”

“That’s not fair!” B squawks. “You can’t turn me into a maid just because I didn’t write a paper on the importance of conserving evidence! I could tell you all of that shit right now, as an oral report. I learned everything I need to about detective work a long time ago-“

“I suggest you leave while you still can. Otherwise perhaps our new ‘maid’, as you put it, will be made to sweep out the chimney as well! Next time, maybe you’ll decide to actually put what brain cells you still posses to use instead of spending your time placing whoopee cushions under everyone’s chairs.”

Light can see the way that B’s form shakes with rage, and he knows he wants to hit something. Though B has never physically harmed another student, save for a few fist fights, he constantly destroys property. One of A’s superman posters was put into their room solely to cover up a hole B’s fist made in the wall. And he remembers a smashed plate that nearly missed Quillsh’s head. B is prone to violent outbursts, and Light can almost feel the need the other has to hit something. He watches with bated breath, wondering if B will damn himself further and flip over a desk.

Fortunately, or maybe unfortunately for his entertainment, B simply stomps his foot and storms out of the room. Light tries to turn away to look like he wasn’t watching, but it’s too late. B has spotted him, luckily maneuvering himself away in time so that he doesn’t crash into him. The two stare at each other for a moment. B’s red orbs are wide and filled with an unholy rage. It seems that the tissue inside of his eye sockets are burt up by fire, and his face is twisted into a murderous sneer. He actually looks the part of a killer on his way to mutilate an unsuspecting victim. 

“You saw that, did you?” B spits, and Light almost breathes an audible sigh of relief that B has decided not to murder him. 

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to watch.” Light mutters awkwardly, though even he can hear the guilt in his voice. B just shakes his head, and brushes past him. Light follows him, for no apparent reason. He’s like a moth drawn to B’s fire.

“Fucking motherfucker.” B curses, stomping through the empty hallway. His steps sound like small explosions on the rickety hardwood floor. The noise pounds itself into Light’s skull. “I fucking hate him. Roger is such an arrogant, malicious cocksucker! I should really just burn him in his bed, save us all from future trouble-“

“B, maybe you should calm down.“ L calls from beside him, and Light feels his eyes widen. No, L. Now is not a good time to tell B to ‘calm down’. That’s like trying to contain a hurricane inside of a teapot. B pauses in his steps, and Light thinks that maybe he’s decided to kill L. His nerves feel as if they are on fire.

“Calm down?” B parrots, in a falsified sugary voice. “Did you, or did you not just see what happened in there?”

Light barely contains his sigh. He knows L means well, at least he probably does. L has never had the best social awareness. But L also hasn’t seen one of B’s outbursts since they were thirteen. A lot has changed since then. The last time B lost himself in front of L was when Matt beat him in Mario Kart. He threw the remote at the television screen, and stalked back to his and A’s room. That had been one of his tamest fits, though the poor television never got replaced. You can still see the crack in it, but Matt doesn’t seem to mind. 

And while L used to share a room with B, he now has his own private quarters for when he returns home. He hasn’t seen the other boy get truly angry, truly volatile. But Light had. Light knew exactly what to say, and what words should never leave his mouth when B was in a mood. He knew when to follow the other boy, and when to leave him be. He could tell when B was being irrational, or when he was really hurting. Light knew exactly when a good joke would lighten B’s mood, or if he actually wanted to talk about his feelings. L did not know these things, so attempting to converse with B as if he was simply being difficult was a suicide mission. 

“I saw what happened.” L responded carefully, at least he knew that much. “But if you had simply done your homework-“

“And why should I?” B shouted, whirling around. “It’s all pointless! I’m smart enough, I don’t need to write boring little essay’s about fuck all! I don’t need to conform, I know who I am.”

“B, completing tasks for school is something everyone has to do-“

“THAT’s rich.” B scoffed, pointing an accusing finger towards the raven. “Who are you to talk about schoolwork? YOU never had to do any, why should I?”

“I actually do have my GED.” L sniffed. “Just because I completed the coursework online doesn’t mean I got off scott free.”

“But it’s different for you!” B hissed. “You’re the prized fucking heifer. You’re the golden standard! And all of us, the lost children, are supposed to follow blindly in your footsteps and worship you like some kind of god! And I’m sick of it. I’m my own person, I certainly don’t need you as a role model!”

Light bit his lip, because trying to win this argument with B was pointless. He had heard all of these things before, and while he agreed on some level, it wasn’t fair to take it out on L. He had tried to explain this to B, but the other simply wouldn’t listen. In his mind, L was to blame for all of the horribleness of the world. B had even suggested once that L was the reason there were still wars going on. It was ridiculous, but that was his prerogative, and nothing was going to change his mind. 

L had apparently gone mute, so Light decided that he should try and say something. “But that’s Roger being ridiculous. It’s not like L is the one-“

“Shut up Light.” Well, okay then. “You know it as well as I do. We’re all just here to serve as little L clones! My God, it’s like they’re trying to change us into you! Nothing we do is ever good enough, unless we do it exactly as you would.”

“Well, if you had just written the essay than maybe it would’ve been good enough.” L pointed out sullenly. “Throwing tantrums and childishly refusing to do work isn’t going to get you anywhere.”

“You’re so fucking naive.” B snapped. “You’ll never understand, because you were never tortured like we were.”

“Tortured? Isn’t that a bit overdramatic?”

B just gave L a mean glare, a glare that could send atheists running to the nearest chapel for sanctuary. “You may have grown up here L, but you aren’t a student of Wammy’s. Its you versus us, and that’s how it’s always been.”

And with that closing line, B gracefully gave L the middle finger and stormed his way up the rickety stairs. Light could faintly hear a door slam and sighed, deciding to make his own way up the stairs. To his bedroom, because he knew that’s where B would be. With A, probably throwing sheets off of the bed and attempting to destroy whatever personal property he could find. That was the only downside of sharing a room with A. For some reason, B thought that his and A’s room was a free for all when it came to destruction. He didn’t want to have to pick up the pieces of a shattered mirror again. 

“Are you actually going to go after him?” L sounded aghast. “Save it, Light. He’ll probably hit you.”

Light scowled at the notion that he couldn’t defend himself. B had never tried to hit him, and that was because he knew Light would dish it back tenfold. Light wasn’t some weak, squealing ingenue who needed L’s advice or protection. He’d handle this, like he always did. Because somehow it was always left up to him. 

“He’s probably in my room.” Light pointed out, reaching the top of the staircase and staring down at L. L looked so much smaller from where he was standing, which was funny. L usually seemed larger than life. “I don’t want him destroying anything, and I know what to do when he’s like this. Trust me.”

Luckily L didn’t try to hinder him any further, which Light was grateful for. He padded down the old hallway, wrinkling his nose at the smell. Whammy’s house always smelled like mildew, but the adults around here either had no sense of smell or didn’t care to fix it. Probably the latter. He ran his hand over a patch of peeling wallpaper as he drew closer to his room. He heard muffled shouts and the sound of thumping. B was probably hitting something.

Light found that his deduction was correct upon entering the room. B was currently on top of A’s bed, and he was beating a pillow as if he actually wanted to murder it. A few blankets were strewn on the ground, but A just sat at the foot of the bed reading a book. 

“Dumb, stupid, fucking-“ B seethed, continuing to batter the poor pillow. “I really should disembowel that bloody fool!”

“B, I’ll help you clean if you want me to.” A muttered, turning the page. “Be grateful he didn’t decide to make you clean out the attic.”

“He knew I would’ve ripped his head off if he’d even of suggested that.” B threw the pillow at the wall, frowning. “I hate him.”

“Are you actually going to write that report?” A questioned. “You know he’s going to insist upon it.”

“He can shove it up his ass.” B retorted. “I’m not writing a damn thing, except maybe Roger’s obituary.”

“I’d love to help with that.” Light snickered softly, sitting upon his bed and folding his arms. “But, in the long run, you know it’s probably just easier to give him what he wants.”

“Easy isn’t my style.” B griped. “You may be content to sing that song Light, but I’m not. Roger can’t control me.”

“He’s making you clean the entire first floor.” A pointed out, folding a corner of his book and setting it down softly. “Light’s right, trying to fight them won’t accomplish anything.”

“Light doesn’t understand either.” B scowled, picking the pillow off of the floor only to once again promptly throw it back down. “He’s fucking the golden child, after all, so he gets special perks.”

Light's ears flushed with anger and he closed his eyes, remembering to count to twenty. Loosing his head wouldn’t accomplish anything, and would only serve to make him look as ridiculous as B. Light was better than that, he didn’t need to hurl insults and resort to violence to get his anger out. He was calm, and controlled. B just liked to be an asshole when he was like this, just to take everyone else down with him. Light was about to turn eighteen after all, he didn’t need to get into some kind of brawl.

“You’re ridiculous.” Light muttered stiffly, opening his eyes wide to send a stony glare to the other. He could see B slightly waver from his expression, and he nearly smirked. That was the difference between the two. Light could get his anger across with a single expression. He didn’t need to throw punches for others to cower into submission. “I’m not some kind of class pet. Remember what happened just last week?”

B’s eyes narrowed and Light felt his own heart slam against his ribcage, because he did so hate being reminded of his own humiliating scornings. Of all of the things he could have gotten in trouble for, Roger had decided to let him have it because he’d signed his name in cursive on his report instead of printing it. It was quite hard to catch Light messing up, so the other man seemed to delight in doling out punishment for him whenever the rare opportunity would present itself. He had walked over to Light’s desk, and hit his hand with a fucking ruler of all things. Light had thought his eye would twitch right out of his skull, and seriously considered going primal. But he had taken it with grace, and allowed that righteous anger to burn a hole inside of his chest. Roger was a pompous idiot, and didn’t deserve a reaction from him. All in due time, all in due time. That’s always what the brunette told himself. The wicked would get their righteous judgement, one day. He didn’t know exactly how, he just knew that one day he’d be the one to wipe that self-satisfied smirk off of the other man’s wrinkled face. 

“Light doesn't get any special treatment.” A nodded. “He’s in the same shipwreck as all of us B, it’s unfair to attack him just because he’s in a relationship with L.”

Light bristled at the fact that A thought he was in a relationship with L, but kept his mouth tightly closed. Everyone could think that if they wanted to, he didn’t care. Assumptions were for the feeble minded, and he didn’t have the patience to convince anyone otherwise.

“It’s not fair.” B mumbled bitterly. “Why can’t you tell L to change something? Everyone around here worships him after all, it wouldn’t be that hard.”

Light frowned. “L probably doesn’t think there’s anything wrong with how this place is run.”

“That’s because he’s never fucking around to witness it.” B snapped. “But he saw what happened. And did he care? No! It was all ‘B you’re so naughty! Just do what the wicked slavedriver asks of you, and then everything will be okay because I’m L and I know everything.’ Gah! It makes me sick to my stomach.”

“L just sees the world from a different perspective.” Light replied slowly. “You can’t take everything out on him.”

“Stop defending your boyfriend Light.” B sniffed. “He knows damn well that he could change things if he wanted to. Roger and Quillsh are total bitches for him, and would probably help him get away with murder if he asked nicely enough. But he just doesn’t care!”

Light felt his eyes narrow at that thought. “Maybe…” He trailed off, shrugging. “Maybe he’s just as much under their control as we are.” Light didn’t like to entertain this line of thought, mostly because he didn’t know the answer. Or maybe, maybe he was afraid of it. Because, was B right? Could L have the power to change anything? Or…did he think that this was right? Did he think that this kind of strict punishment and abuse truly was helping the children become stronger and smarter? Light didn’t want to think that L was complacent in some way, and he often thought that L just didn’t know the true magnitude of how awful everything was around here.

But on some level, Light had never voiced his opinion to the raven because….he was afraid that L wouldn’t believe him. Or that he just wouldn’t care. He didn’t want to learn of what L might do if he learned the truth, so he just never brought it up. It was the elephant in the room that they never spoke of.

“Quillsh is the one with all the power anyway, all the money.” Light continued unsteadily. “I think that L doesn’t know, and that the teachers around here just spin pretty lies for him to make it all go away.”

“Then why don’t you talk to him about it?” B demanded. 

“Because, we’re going to be graduating soon enough anyway.” Light scowled. He didn’t ned to be known as a tattletale, and he didn’t want anymore trouble coming his way. He wanted to leave this place in peace, not in scandal and ruin. 

“L has enough on his plate.” He finished firmly. “He doesn’t need me stirring up trouble. We can handle the teachers without L getting involved, can’t we?”

“I guess.” B mumbled, because apparently that was enough to placate him. “I guess I don’t really like the thought of L coming to our rescue..”

Yeah, that too. No matter how inane or prideful that thought was, Light didn’t want to be saved by L.

“I just wish this could be a normal school.” A said softly, and Light looked over at the other in surprise. His eyes had a sort of faraway look in them, like he wasn’t even there. A chill ran up Light’s spine.

“You’re telling me.” B snorted derisively. “Schools on television are all fun and games…no one gets smacked on the head or has to clean an entire fucking floor by themselves.”

“No one gets hit with rulers and there are no inane power plays.” Light agreed. “The biggest problems in normal schools are who likes who and completing a test on time.”

“Remember that ridiculous show about the kids who had to catch the vampires in their school while trying to find a date for the prom?” B rolled his eyes. “God, if only catching monsters was my biggest issue.”

“In a way, we are being taught to catch monsters.” Light mused. “Only they’re human monsters, criminals.”

“Half of the monsters of this world already live in plain sight, in this very school.” A scoffed bitterly, pushing his glasses further up his nose. 

“Roger’s a big green monster.” B laughed, waving his hands around. “I bet under all that sagging skin he has scales, like really slimy scales.”

“God, I wish Roger would get fired.” Light rolled his eyes, cracking his knuckles. “Quillsh too, and Mr. Hamlin, Ms. Chesapeake…”

“I’d love to see Mr. Westin get throw out on his ass.” B scowled. “You know, last week he made me write a ten thousand word essay on the importance of having manners. Can you fucking believe that? What a dick.”

“Mr. Westin is such a beady eyed bastard.” Light agreed. He hated everyone here, everyone. 

“How did we end up here?” A sighed. “How did we all end up in this orphanage turned hellhole?”

Light shook his head, watching his bangs fall into his eyes. “Dumb luck.”

“No, because we’re 'special'.” B sneered. “But not as special as L, of course.”

“Why can’t we just be good on our own?” A grumbled. “We’re just as good as L is, we don’t have to be an exact copy of who he is as a person.”

“Exactly!” B threw his hands up, and began to pace around the small room. “Like, why can’t we all be a team? If they let us all solve cases, we’d be even more powerful! We don’t need a dozen L’s, the world could stand to have a few B’s and Light’s and A’s…”

“It’s all so fucked up.” Light murmured lowly. “Nothing against L, but I just want to be Light.”

“And the stupid part is that’s not even your real name.” B exclaimed. “We even had to change our fucking names for this school. I think we’d be better off if I was Beyond Birthday, you were Tsuki Yagami, and you were Alexandar Scandoff! All of these aliases sound horrible.”

“I like Light.” Light defended. “I think it’s a much better name than Tsuki.” He had learned not to question B on how he knew their real names. The boy had told him that he could see names and numbers floating above everyone’s head once before, and Light had nearly laughed his head off. He had been shocked when B had known his real name, but decided that the boy must have found it by looking through his files. Or asking L. Or, maybe he was psychic? The thought was insane, and Light tried not to dwell on it. He didn’t like not knowing things. And even when he suggested that B was making it up, or that he had an overactive imagination, the other would just yell at him. 

“You know why they do it though, right?” A looked up, his green eyes dull with an eternal anger. “It’s because they want to take away our very identities. They don’t want us to be our own people, they just want faceless nobodies with fake names and robotic actions.”

“I know who I am.” B declared quietly, deciding to sit down next to A and pull the other into a hug. “I’ll never be L, no matter how much they want it. I’ll always be myself, and I’ll always have my own mind.”

“Our minds are the greatest tools we have.” Light said, biting his cheek so hard that he felt the flesh split. “The can never control my brain.”

“Do you ever wonder…” A started softly, laying his head against B’s shoulder. “Do you ever wonder if we’ll get to a point where our minds won’t even be ours? Like, everything we were will just be gone and forgotten?”

Light felt ice rushing through his veins as he looked upon the now drawn features of the other. What? That thought…it was so morbid, yet real. What was A saying?

“Do you think that’s possible?” Light questioned lowly. A shrugged.

“Dunno. Just food for thought, I guess.”

Light knew that it was more than that. He could tell that A was alluding to something, something dark. He could feel it pouring out of the other. He could see it from his tense muscles and his hollow green eyes. A was upset, more upset than he had ever seen him. 

“Is that how you feel?” B whispered. “Do you think they’ve taken your mind?”

A hummed, lulling his head around B’s shoulder. “I was the first one in the successor program. I think they’ve molded me into something different then I originally was.”

Light felt poison creep inside of his heart. Was that true? Had he unconsciously been changed without even realizing it? Was Light Yagami not who he truly was? If he had stayed in Japan, gone to a different orphanage…would he be different? He heard croaks and murmurs in the back of his mind that suggested something sinister. A thick energy had descended upon the room, and Light struggled to breath through it. 

A had never been like this before. He had always been calm, soft-spoken. But he was also wise. Had he figured out something that the rest of them hadn’t? Was he able to see some kind of hidden damage?

“Those bastards can’t take anything from you.” B growled softly. “You’re A, you’re my A. I know who you are, and I know your not just some robot. Okay?”

“Are you okay A?” Light asked, so softly that he wasn’t even sure he had spoken the words out loud. “You haven’t lost yourself, have you? Do…do you think that all of us are lost?”

A quickly sat up, shaking his head wildly. “I’m not sick!” He insisted. “I-if that’s what your getting at…I’m not!”

“Light wasn’t saying that…” B trailed off, exchanging a wide-eyed glance with Light. Light felt as if his nerves had just been set on fire. Something was wrong, he could feel it. 

“I haven’t lost myself.” A told them. “But, if you suggest I have…they’ll send me away!”

“Hey!” B grabbed the other’s hand, and Light could feel the unease radiating off of the dark-haired boy. “We won’t say anything, we won’t let them send you away..”

“But, you’re okay?” Light tried again. “You….you know who you are?”

“I do.” A closed his eyes, so that Light could not see the emotions running through those green orbs. But he felt as if he could see a chip, a crack in A’s facade. He knew the other was hiding something, he was familiar with that. “I’m sorry…I shouldn’t say such morbid things out loud. I think I’ve been reading too much Poe.”

The room was quite, the only sound that pierced the silence was the ticking of his watch. Light didn’t know what to say, or what to think. He knew himself. He knew he did. A was just musing aloud, that was all. No amount of schoolwork or punishments could make him loose himself, right? No, no his thoughts were his own. He wasn’t controlled by anyone or anything. It…it was okay. It had to be. A didn’t know what he was saying. He was just trying to calm B down-

“Don’t look so horrified, Light.” A suddenly teased, and Light looked up to see that his eyes were bright green again. The tension had seemingly melted off of him and he sat up, once again picking up his book. A was back. He hadn’t lost himself. It was a temporary blip, nothing else. “I was only thinking aloud. They haven’t changed us.”

“No, they haven’t.” Light echoed, forcing a smile onto his face. Because that was what he had to believe. He wouldn’t allow himself to think that he was warped, because that wasn’t who he was. He’d never allow someone to have that kind of power of him. He was Light. Smart, driven, passionate, and very much his own person. He held his own power. They all did.

“A?” B hummed. “I still don’t know what it means…but your numbers have changed again.” 

“Really?” A smiled, because Light knew that the other boy was simply entertaining the other. A thought that B was pulling an elaborate prank on all of them. “What do they say?”

“I can’t make them out.” B answered. “They seem like jumbled nonsense…just a bunch of random twos, fours, and zeros.”

“Huh.” A mused. “Maybe it’s a special code.”

-

It was quite a nice day out, which was unusual for the weather in England. Even though it was still winter, the snow was melting and the sun was shining brightly. The thermometer on the porch read 10 degrees celsius. While that was a chilly temperature, in the dead of winter, it almost felt like summer. It was L’s last day here, so Light and his friends were spending the time they had left with him outdoors. A soft breeze blew though Light’s hair, and he unconsciously leaned closer to L. 

They were sat on a small table on the patio. The wire chairs had cushions on the seat, so they weren’t terribly uncomfortable. Matt had, for one, left his game boy inside and was engaged in an arm wrestle with Mello. A was reading another book, and B was childishly annoying him. L, Light, and Near were currently engaged in a conversation about the death penalty. All in all, it was a good afternoon. One of the rarer ones. 

“I think that if the crimes are heinous enough, and those people prove to be unstable and violent, the only thing left for them is execution.” L responded, bringing his thumb to rest upon his bottom lip. “I think the death penalty should be reserved for murderers and rapists, only the truly awful of society.”

“But what if they’ve been framed?" Near asked, delicately turning a block on his rubix cube. The colors were almost lined up all blue.”What if the individual is innocent?”

“There should be sufficient evidence linking them to the crime then.” Light said. “There has to be undeniable proof that they’re guilty.”

“But dirty cops could forge evidence.” Near argued. “No government should have the power to kill someone.”

“What about that one serial killer in America, Ted Bundy?” Light questioned. “Do you think that the world would be better off if he was still alive? He was a flight risk, and escaped prison twice. And during one of those times, he went and killed three more individuals.”

“I think a worst punishment would have been to leave him in prison for life.” Near told him, setting the finished rubix cube upon the table and studying it intensely. “Being left in solitary confinement, to have to face the truth about himself and live with his crimes, I believe that would have been a much more fitting punishment.”

Light placed his chin into his palm, and reached forward to take a chocolate chip cookie off of the plate in the middle of the table. He turned it over in his hand, before delicately taking a bite. “I just don’t like to think of that kind of evil being allowed to stay alive.” He swallowed, repressing his moan at how good the confection was. No matter what he thought of Quillsh, his baking was heavenly. “I think the world would be better off if more criminals were shown harsher punishments. I’ve seen it happen too many times, where some murderers don’t even get life! We need to show possible criminals that there will be harsh consequences for their actions, and then maybe the crime rate would go down.”

“Evil will always exist, no matter how harsh the punishment.”

“Not necessarily. People are always self-serving, and will value their lives above anything else. If criminals are taught that crimes against humanity are punished with death, I doubt many of them would still commit those crimes. The world needs good, not evil. Death is a necessary way of plucking those rotten individuals off of the face of the earth.”

“What about Carlos DeLuna? He was a Texas man killed in 1989 for a murder he did not commit. Furthermore, he did know who had committed the murder but the police simply thought the was making it up because they could not find the identity of the man he had named. Only after his death did they find the true culprit.”

Light frowned. “…There will always be flaws in the justice system, because it is made by humans. It sounds like Deluna died because of incompetence, not because the death penalty is wrong. Think of all the lives it has saved. In that case, we need to train officers and detective’s more efficiently, so that they won’t make those mistakes.”

“You won’t win this fight Near.” L slightly chuckled. “Light’s more passionate about death than I am.”

Light shot a half glare at the raven, stuffing the rest of his cookie inside of his mouth. “That makes me sound like some kind of psychopath.” He mumbled, and L just shook his head.

“Just passionate about your own beliefs. I know how much you care about justice, Light. But, you have to remember, your opinion isn’t the only one that counts.”

Light rolled his eyes, and nudged L’s shoulder playfully. “Isn’t it?” He smiled, but it didn’t reach his eyes. He knew why he was so passionate about justice, about the death penalty in particular. It was because of his parents. Because of their murderer, who he had just found out had gotten a fifteen year sentence. That little time, for killing two innocent people! He had taken a plea deal, and had gotten his sentence reduced even more for ‘good behavior.’ He had never wanted to look into the case before just a few months ago, because he just knew that it would hurt too much to see that monster’s smug face. But curiosity had gotten the better of him, and he had finally looked up what had happened online.

And all he had saw was injustice. They said that he was ‘rehabilitated’, but Light knew the truth. That man had taken his parents life, and he had stolen Light’s in the process. He had ruined a family, he had taken an honorable police chief away from the community. Sure, he could blame his actions on drug addiction and mental illness, but that was a load of bollocks. That man had killed his parents because he hadn’t of cared. He had killed them because he was selfish, and wanted money, and didn’t want to be arrested for his crimes. He was like a wild animal, a particularly vicious one. Light didn’t care how well behaved he had been in prison, all the brunette saw when he looked at his mugshot was a monster. A monster that should’ve died. His parents didn’t get to live anymore, why should he?

An eye for an eye, like the bible says. 

“Matt!” A stern voice suddenly broke through Light’s musings, and he looked up. Quillsh was walking over to them with intent, and pointed a finger in Matt’s direction. “I need you to do some work into police data for L’s next case.”

“Aw!” Matt whined, letting go of Mello’s arm. “Can’t I finish this round? We’re tied right now, and I just know I’ll win!””

“In your dreams.” Mello scoffed, shoving another cookie into his mouth. Light resisted the urge to reach over and wipe the crumbs off of the other’s chin. That was just unsightly. 

Quillsh let out a long suffering sigh, but nodded stiffly. “Five minutes, then I want to see you in my office.”

“Yes sir!” Matt saluted cheekily, but Quillsh just narrowed his eyes and turned back around to go into the house. His coattails flapped in the wind. 

Matt smirked, and then, without warning, he yanked Mello’s arm down onto the table. The blonde yelped, and ripped his arm away.

“Yes!” Matt cheered, standing up. “I win!”

“Only because I was distracted.” Mello scowled, glaring intently at the other. “One more round!”

“Sorry man, I better go now. Q has been on my case ever since I fell asleep in the middle of history class.” Matt grumbled. “I don’t need anymore detention.”

“He said five minutes.” Mello grabbed onto the other’s arm in an attempt to pull him closer. “C’mon, don’t leave yet. We’re having fun!”

“Mells, I’ll be back in a few.” Matt rolled his eyes.

“No you won’t! I know how your dumb projects go, you’ll be gone all day.” Mello pouted. “And you were playing video games all last night, it’s like I never get to hang out with you anymore.”

“You’ll see me tonight.” Matt dismissed, and Light could almost see the sparks that suddenly ignited in the other’s eyes.

“No I won’t, you’ll just play video games again!” Mello hissed, tightening his grip. “Don’t leave Matty, please.”

“Mells…” Matt sighed, prying his arm away from the other’s grasp. He took a few steps back, rubbing the limb. “Jesus, you’ve gotten strong. Look, don’t have a cow I promise I’ll be back soon.” And with that, the redhead went up to the door and hurriedly walked in.

Light frowned, as he saw Mello’s hands tighten into fists. For some reason, Mello was unhealthily attached to Matt. It was like their hearts were sewn together or something. It didn’t take much to make the rambunctious blonde loose his cool, Mello would scream at the sky if the atmosphere was particularly cloudy. Mello absolutely detested being away from Matt, and would usually take his anger out on the nearest object or person available. Light nervously picked at a hangnail, hoping that Mello wouldn’t decide to flip over the table.

“Get that fucking block away from me!” Mello suddenly hissed, throwing a hand out to aggressively swipe the rubix cube off of the table. Light sighed, it was already starting. A crack was heard, and Light looked down to find that the cube has broken in half.

“That was mine.” Near said stiffly, shooting a glare at Mello. “Can you not control your anger for five seconds?”

“Shut up sheep!” Mello hissed venomously, and Light almost rolled his eyes. Of course Mello would pick a fight with Near. Those two were like the fire and ice. Mello always seemed to find fault with the white haired boy, no matter what. It was like an eternal pissing contest, and Mello had a bladder infection. Light could understand it on some level, because Mello was constantly pitted against Near in class. Like how B and Light were with L. That’s how Wammy’s worked, they made the students feel like they were constantly in a rat race with the others around them. They taught you to despise those that could be better than you, even if you didn’t want to. Mello was always compared to Near, and Roger often reminded him of that. Mello always felt that he had to tear Near down, just to prove himself. It was childish, but that’s how they lived. 

“Mello, apologize to Near for breaking his rubix cube.” L sighed loudly, because he often was the mediator of these fights when they arose around him. Quillsh would often make him scold Mello, even though the two were practically the same age. And Light knew this was sure to infuriate Mello more.

“You’re not my dad!” Mello declared, slamming a fist down on the table. “Why do you always have to stick up for Near? Can’t he defend himself?”

“I can, but I find the whole thing trivial.” Near responded dryly. “Mello wants a reaction from me, and I don’t want to give him one.”

“Don’t condescend me!”

“Just stating facts.”

“God, you two are like an old married couple!” B snarled. “Mello shut up. And Near, your stupid block hit me in the shin.”

“That’s Mello’s fault.” Near replied sourly. 

“Don’t tell me to shut up, you red eyed cretin!” Mello spat.

“Oh, so you’re telling me you want a knuckle sandwich?” B growled, abruptly standing up and pushing his chair back with a harsh squeal. “Let’s go then, Madonna.”

“Don’t disrespect the virgin Mary!” Mello hissed, leaping up to come and stand in font of B menacingly. The blonde was shorter than B, but somehow he looked to be the same height. He was like a fluffed out peacock. The two stood toe to toe, glaring at each other furiously. Light would’ve laughed if this situation hadn’t of already happened hundreds of times before. 

“I was talking about the singer, shit for brains!” B snapped, jerking his head forward. Mello didn’t flinch.

“Can you two not?” L rolled his eyes. “Put your dicks away and go back to eating cookies.

“L, stop acting like a dad!” B suddenly screeched, whirling around to smash his fists on the table. Light nearly jumped, his heart seemed to be trying to frantically beat out of his chest.

“Thank you!” Mello threw his hands up, standing behind B with his hands on his hips. “L, you can’t boss us around!” Well, apparently those two were on the same side now. What was this argument over again?

“L actually can.” Near stated dryly. “He is kind of the ruler of this house.”

“That’s not-“ L started, but was interrupted by B’s harsh chuckle.

“You got that right, casper. L’s the king isn’t he?” B then, horrifyingly enough, started hopping around and started making whooping noises. Mello joined him, glaring at L, and Light watched mortified. Were these two both really genii who were about to turn into adults? How embarrassing.

“You two look like morons.” L stated flatly. B stopped, and came over to stand over L. Light really wished he hadn’t of chosen a seat so close to the raven. B looked like a tower that was about to topple down and destroy anything in it’s path. His eyes seemed to be bleeding out of his skull. 

“B, don’t.” A murmured. 

“I’m not a moron!” B growled, and L raised an eyebrow.

“I said you looked like one.”

“It’s your fault anyway!” Mello decided to butt in. “Matt wouldn’t of had to leave if you weren’t such a tyrant! It’s always we have to drop whatever we’re doing and run to bow down at your feet, yeah?”

“We’re like bloody servants!” B spat.

“Can you two be quiet?” Near sighed. “My ears are ringing.”

“No one asked, you little shit!” Mello shouted. 

“I second Near on that.” Light stated coolly. “Can you two not blame L for everything under the sun for once? He's just sitting there.”

“Oh look! It’s L’s fuck toy coming to his defense.”

Light saw red, and before he even knew what was happening, he had stood up as well.

“Wanna say that again, asshole?” Light tried counting to twenty, but he only got to two. He was no one’s ‘fuck toy’! And he hated being demeaned in such a manner. He was not going to let B, of all people, baselessly insult him and get away with it.

“Oh, does night Light have something to say?” B asked cheerily, his voice sounding entirely too loud. “I called you L’s slut. What are you going to do about it?”

Light felt as if his blood was physically boiling, and his jaw clenched painfully. Oh, no. B was asking for it. He could control himself, but not to this extent. B was asking for it-

L suddenly caught Light’s fist, and earned a glare from the brunette. “Light! Stop!”

“I was defending you!” Light shrieked, ripping his hand away. “What, you’re going to let him call me that?”

“You should be the bigger person!” Light felt his eyes narrow into tiny slits, and almost thought for a moment that foam had appeared on his lips. 

“B didn’t mean it.” A tried to soothe, coming to stand behind B. “B, can’t you just apologize?”

“How does it feel Light?” B laughed sardonically. “L doesn’t care about anyone but himself.”

“Shut up!”

“Hey, look. You’re a whore Light! Huh? See? Nothing. L’s going to let me call you a whore!”

“B-“ Near started. “Now you’re just fighting anyone and everyone.”

“Mello started it!”

“Actually Near started it!”

“Can you all shut up!” L shouted. “This is not how I wanted to spend my day off.”

“Aw, poor L. Did your precious time get soiled by the commoners? Aw, too bad!” B spit, taking the plate and smashing it on the ground. Light was hardly surprised, he just leaned on the wall behind him angrily. He hated everyone here. He really did. He couldn’t wait to go to Japan and rejoin polite society. 

“Yeah, can you hear my tiny violin.” Mello spat, holding up his fingers and twiddling them back and forth. “Listen to how much I care. Asshole.” He muttered, sitting back down in a huff.

“This is why neither of you will become L.” Near stated calmly, and all heads whipped around to stare at him. The smaller boy was twirling a piece of hair between his fingers, and looked at Mello and B disdainfully. “You’re both much too emotional. You cannot let emotions overtake you if you ever hope to be a good detective-“

“You toad!” Mello screeched, and then he did stand up and throw the chair he was sitting on. It bounced against the patio, and Light saw that one of the legs had snapped off. This was bad. “I’d become L sooner than you would! You’re meek, and never take any risks. That’s why I always beat you in debate team!”

“You beat me in debate team because you’re the loudest.” Near scowled.

“Loud is better than being a pussy.” B declared, thumping his chest. “And I don’t want to become L, I’m better than L!”

“Sure you are.” L rolled his eyes. “Who was it who caught that cult who was sacrificing children? Who was the one who caught one of the largest gangs in the United States? Right, me. You couldn’t catch a dead mouse, B.”

“L, that’s not fair-“ A started, before B suddenly launched himself at L. L caught himself, and side stepped. Unfortunately, he had been acting as a barrier for Light so B’s fist landed squarely onto his cheekbone. Light gasped as his head painfully smacked the back of the wall. He felt himself slightly sinking down, and saw stars.

“Shit! Light…I didn’t mean to..” B started, Light felt as if he had just been hit with a mallet. His cheek throbbed painfully, as Light opened his eyes to stare meanly into B’s guilty ones.

“Light! Are you okay?” L rushed over to place a hand on Light’s shoulder, but the brunette ripped himself away and stood up to smack B right back. His curled fist landed right on the other’s eye, and B stumbled back onto the table, landing against it with a harsh thud. Light didn’t care. His face was one fire and he didn’t care. He was not going to be called a slut and then hit! He was Light for God’s sake, not some punchable whore!

“Stop!” A shrieked, coming to stand in front of B. Light stepped forward menacingly, not thinking of anything but wanting to avenge himself. He imagined pushing A out of the way and slapping B again, so hard that his teeth would fall onto the ground beneath with a clattering noise. He could almost feel how the crushing of bone and skin would feel under his fist..

“WHAT’S all this?!” A harsh yell suddenly sounded, and Light nearly jumped out of his skin. He turned around to see Roger stalking towards them, he looked like an executioner about to take a prisoner to the guillotine. His beady brown eyes were narrowed into angry little slits, and his face was bright red. Light gulped, hiding his hands behind his back. Fuck. 

Silence descended upon the group, and somehow that made Light’s head throb harder. He wanted to hold it in his hands, but didn’t want to show any sign of weakness. He blinked painfully, his stomach twisting into knots as Roger came to sand before them. He crossed his arms and stared down at them as if they were mere weeds, making Light unconsciously shrink back. He knew they were fucked, and he was going to have another mark on his otherwise pristine record. He shouldn’t of hit B,m he shouldn’t of! How could he have lost himself like that? How could he be reduced to violence? At this very moment, Light payed he would somehow melt into the ground. 

“Well?” Roger spat, tapping his foot loudly. 

“U-um…it was nothing..” A murmured, and Roger’s eyes lit up with sadistic glee.

“Really?” He mocked. “Because what I heard, and saw, was a full out brawl! You all have upset the younger children-“ He flung his arm out behind him, even though they were they only ones currently outside. “And you’ve given me a giant headache. What is this, a hooligan convention?”

“Near started it.” Mello mumbled sourly.

“I don’t care Mello, in my eyes you’ve all misbehaved.” Roger snapped, and Light felt his heart sink. He had just been defending himself! What, was he just supposed to sit back and take it? That wasn’t fair! “You are all little brats, and this is unacceptable behavior! I will not tolerate violence, nor arguments! It looks as if Light and B have just stepped out of a cage match.”

“B hit me first.” Light whispered bitterly, suddenly finding his shoes to be of great interest.

“Well Light was being a complete dick!” B retorted, making Light involuntarily clench his fists.

“I was not!”

“Was too!”

“B-“ A started lowly, before being interrupted by Roger yet again.

“I’ve heard enough!” Thew older man spat. “Near, detention. Mello, you’re on sweeping and dish duty tonight. A, you go on and clean the attic. B, I want you to write a fifteen thousand word essay on why violence is never the answer. You too Light, and you will go straight to your room with no dinner tonight. Actually, that goes for all of you.”

Light felt as if the floor had just fallen out from underneath him, and stared at the other man incredulously. His mouth would have fallen open if his jaw was not so tightly clenched. That was unacceptable! That was awful, and he could not get punished in this way! He hadn’t of done anything to deserve forgoing dinner! And now, what? A fifteen thousand page ESSAY? Roger must be out of his skull.

“You can’t do that!” B snapped, echoing Light’s thoughts. “It was just a little fight, I’ll even apologize to Light!”

“Yeah!” Light agreed, hurriedly nodding towards B. “Sorry B.”

“Sorry Light.”

“That’s not good enough.” Roger shook his head. “You all must learn that there are harsh consequences for misbehavior.”

“That’s a load of bull!” Mello declared. “I’m not doing pointless fucking chores without dinner, I wasn’t even involved in the fight.”

“I just sat here.” Near muttered bitterly.

“You can’t do this.” Light shook his head, anxiety bubbling up inside of him. “I didn’t do anything-“

“That bruise beginning to form on B’s eye would suggest otherwise.” Roger scowled.

“Well, I hit my head!” Light snapped back. “Shouldn’t I be getting medical attention?”

“You aren’t falling over, and I don’t see any blood. You seem to be able to argue just fine.” Roger looked him up and down coolly, shaking his head. 

“I’m not writing an essay!” B declared. “I didn’t do anything, you old vulture!”

“Okay, then you can have detention for two whole weeks.”

“That’s not fair!” A suddenly butted in, almost making Light do a double take. A’s green eyes were alive with rage, and he seemed to be taller somehow. His voice was low and sharp, which Light didn’t ever think he had heard. He had never seen A mad, for that matter. It was like he had taken on B’s personality, this was not the polite and calm boy he knew. A must be really pissed, and Light felt a pit inside of his stomach.

“You can’t just bully us for your own amusement.” A shouted. “It’s totally unfair, because we didn’t do anything that would warrant this kind of abuse. Letting us starve? Making us write overly long and stupid essays about something we already know is wrong? Light and B both apologized, so just let it go!”

“I never!” Now Roger had the gall to be scandalized, as if he was somehow wounded by what had happened. “That’s enough out of you Alexandar!”

Light physically felt himself freeze. No one around here ever used their names. Except for B. But he was B, and this was Roger. A teacher. 

“Why?” A pressed on, and Light willed the other to be silent. “I’m tired of seeing all of these injustices, it’s totally unfair how we’re treated around here! If L had gotten into the fight, then-“

“Why drag me into this?” L demanded, folding his arms across his chest, and A let out a bitter laugh.

“Because the teachers all treat us like shit because we aren’t you!” The green-eyed boy exclaimed. “I’m not saying that it’s your fault, but it isn’t right-“

“That’s it!” Roger finally yelled, his eyes twinkling with anger. “You’re done young man, do you hear me? You’re out of the successor program effective immediately!”

It felt as if a gust of air, a gust of rather violent air had just hit Light. He blinked, dumbfounded, and could barely hear B’s indignant gasp over the ringing in his own ears. This….no one had ever been kicked out of the successor program. Ever. This was bad. Light felt a sour taste well up in his mouth, as he slowly turned his head to look at A. The other looked as if he had just been shot, his eyes were wide and horror-stricken, and his entire face had lost all of it’s color. He was as white as a sheet, he looked like a ghost. The throbbing inside of his own head only intensified. 

“You…you can’t do that!” Mello finally, weakly, yelled. “A didn’t do anything!”

“You aren’t serious…” A trailed off, his voice shaking. Light could see the other trembling out of the corner of his eye, and his stomach clenched in on itself. “Roger, please, I-I’m sorry!”

“This is complete shit!” B hissed, stalking up to the older man and pointing a pale finger in front of his face. “You can’t take this away from A, you whoreson. That’s-that’s just cruel!”

“Would you like to be dismissed as well, B?” Roger asked coldly, hitting the other boy’s hand away from his face. “Don’t test me!”

“You can’t do this!” B argued, his voice sounding like a strangled scream. “This is totally unfair-“

“I said what I said!” Roger finally yelled, and Light imagined that the sound had made the very earth shake. “B, say one more word, and you’ll be expelled from this school! Believe me, it would be my pleasure to do so.”

“B-“ A quickly spoke up, rushing forward to place a hand on B’s shoulder. “Please, don’t say anything.”

“A, no! This isn’t right-“

“Beyond!” A whispered, and he grasped on to the other boy’s shoulder tighter. “Just…don’t.”

Light looked at the swirl of emotions in B’s red eyes, and saw how his jaw clenched. He could feel the anger, the fury, the hurt radiating off of the other. His hands were trembling before he stuffed them into his pocket, and he opened and close his mouth much like a fish would.

But, in the end, the other stepped back, and hung his head.

“Does anyone else have anything they want to say?” Roger hissed, looking around at all of them devilishly, and Light felt his heart stop.

He almost forced himself to scream out his own indignation, his own anger. He so badly wanted to wipe that evil, smug expression off of Roger’s face. He knew he should say something, because this wasn’t right! A was about to loose everything he worked so hard for, and only because he had finally stood up from himself. He had done what Light could never do, and in a strange way, Light felt a glimmer of admiration for the boy. He wanted to fight, he wanted to say anything that could help A.

But he couldn’t, he settled for letting a harsh puff of air leave his nose. It wouldn’t matter, he would just put himself on the line. No matter whether he cared about the successor program or not, he didn’t want to be stripped of that title. Because it was more than a title, it was their very identity. It was the thing they had worked endlessly for, it was what some of them lived for! This was a humiliation, and a show of power. Nothing more, and nothing less. Roger had taken away A’s everything because he could, and that’s what sickened Light the most. The fact that he also couldn’t fight it also sickened him, it made his stomach feel as if a gaping black hole had just been carved into it. 

“That’s what I thought.” Roger sniffed, surveying the group. “You are all dismissed to your rooms, except those of you who have chores.”

“And you aren’t going to say anything?” B asked L incredulously.

L’s eyes darted from side to side, and he shifted uncomfortably. “Roger, maybe taking away A’s title isn’t necessary-“

“L, please.” Roger scoffed. “Don’t feel like you need to stick up for your friends. You’ve done nothing wrong, and if they had simply minded their manners like you always do, then this never would have happened. Actions do have consequences.”

“I understand that.” Light could see how the muscles in L’s jaw clenched. “But, I still consider A a very valuable asset and I don’t think being stripped of a chance to become my successor is the most effective course of action here.”

“I know what I’m doing L, please don’t worry about this. Maybe A will get his position back if he puts in the work to earn it back.” Roger sighed, pushing his glasses up his nose. “And regarding the reason I originally came out here, Quillsh needs to see you about the current case.”

“But…” L frowned, and Light could almost hear the cogs inside of his head turning. He urged L to do something, to say something more. He caught L’s eye, but the other boy swiftly looked away.

“L, it’s of the upmost urgency.”

“Okay.” L breathed out, before swiftly turning around and walking into the house. Light felt his insides deflate. 

He had been right. Maybe it was presumptuous to assume that he knew the situation after one interaction, but Light could see the truth loud and clear now. He knew as well as the rest of them that Roger would never back down and give A his title back. But he was somehow able to manipulate L, to convince him that what he was done wasn’t despicable and horrendous. And L either didn’t care enough to fight him on it, or he too was cowed into obedience. Light fought the urge to punch the wall beside him. How could he have expected any different?

As much as he liked L, the truth had just slapped him in the face. There would always be a fundamental difference between them, no matter what. Because of how they had been raised, because L had been allowed to leave. He would never know what it was like to live under stiff rules and the threat of punishment. He would never know the humiliation that came with constantly being compared to another who you were told was better than you. Roger and Quillsh had made their loyalties loud and clear. And so had L, in a way. Because weren’t those who watched injustices happen just as bad as those who had committed those crimes? Light didn’t know, his head felt as if it was spinning. 

“This is insane!” B finally whispered as they trudged inside, away from Roger’s ears. “We’ll fight this A, I swear-“

“Don’t B, it doesn’t matter.” A sighed. His voice sounded paper thin, like it was barely even there. “I…never really wanted to be L’s successor anyway.”

Light understood, and he knew what A was thinking. No matter what he had been taught while he was growing up, no matter how prestigious the title was, he truly didn’t want it. Whatever this school was trying to turn him into, he wanted to be the opposite. Watching all of these cruelties, living under all of these tyrants, he just wanted to escape back to Japan. More, now than ever, he needed to be in control of his own life. He couldn’t stay here for much longer, or he feared that he would suffocate. 

-

“Score! I finally beat you Matty!” Mello cheered, raising his arms high above his head. “Take that!”

“Whatever.” Matt mumbled sourly, restarting the game. “Dumb luck-“

“I think it was more than that.” Mello boasted. “I think that I’m just cool like that."

“Maybe I let you win.” Matt told him cheekily, playfully cuffing the blonde over the head. “You are just so cute when you’re happy and self-satisfied.”

“Don’t call me cute!” Mello snapped, but there was no bite behind his bark. He just nuzzled into Matt’s shoulder. “I’m sexy.”

“Hell yeah you are…” Matt laughed. “Let’s make this game interesting. Winner gets a blowjob?”

“Deal!” Mello exclaimed. “Prepare to taste my cock, babe.”

Light wrinkled his nose. Really? He was in the room, after all. Today had been a rather boring day, since L had left to go to Japan early in the morning. Even though he had promised to talk with Quillsh, he still hadn’t of brought Light with him. Light had seethed at that fact, and hadn’t of given L his kiss good bye. It always stung when L left, it always felt as if something was being ripped away with him. Not that he ever expected L to take him with…but…it still wounded him. It still felt as if he was lesser than the other, that he wasn’t important at all.

So instead of sulking, Light had agreed to play video games with Mello and Matt. Well, he had played one game before getting incredibly bored. He had then settled to watch the other’s play, while secretly musing about how he would escape this place. He had already emailed L the dates for the entrance exams, which were in March. And he had enough money saved up from tutoring and some investments he had made. He new that he’d be able to afford tuition, hell, he’d probably be up to his neck in scholarships anyway. He was ready to graduate early and get the hell out of this place, no matter what it took. He only hoped that L had been truthful, and didn’t plan on going back on his word.

But there was only so much of Mario Kart that he could take in one day, and his vision was beginning to get blurry from watching the pixelated cars. mellows whooping and cursing wasn’t helping his headache, which was still present from the day before. He had never gotten help for it, so he suffered silently. A quick glance at his watch told him it was three o’clock, and he knew he should start studying. Probably for the exams, even though he knew he would pass with ease. Studying was the only think that made sense to him sometimes, even if he did already know the information like the back of his hand. Anyway, reading dull information was probably better for him than feeling his brain turn to mush by watching video games.

And Mello and Matt had been all over each other all day, like it was a life or death situation. Light really didn’t feel like becoming a voyeur. So, he stood up and stretched his arms over his head. His bones cracked from misuse and he sighed, shaking his hair out slightly.

“See you two later, I’m gonna go study.”

“‘K, bye.” Mello muttered, holding his hand up in a half-wave.

“Bye Light, say hi to A for me.” Matt said, holding up his controller. “Prepare to eat my dust, blondie!”

“I don’t get a good luck kiss?“ Mello pouted, and Light shut the door behind him. Though he would never admit it, sometimes he was jealous of their bond. Sometimes he wished that L would play video games with him, sometimes he wished that L wanted him so badly that he couldn’t stay away from the brunette. He wished he had someone who was his perfect half, someone he could lov-

Light scowled at the rug beneath his feet, making his way down the hallway. No, that thought was stupid. It was just stupid teenage hormones and the way he had been conditioned by society to find his 'soulmate’. Bleh, no thanks. Light knew that wasn’t who he was, anyway. And it wasn’t who L was either. He was fine with how things were between them, truly, and he didn’t need anything to get more complicated. Falling in love would be a complication, loosing yourself with another person wasn’t a necessity. Light had ambition, and plans. He didn’t need any of that soiled by sacrificing a part of himself for anyone else.

Love was a chemical reaction that compelled animals to breed, nothing more and nothing less. It was base instinct to not want to be alone, and Light knew that he was more advanced than others. He liked himself quite enough, he didn’t need anyone else. It was said that loveless men lived longer lives. 

Opening his door, he was suddenly struck with how dark his room was. The blinds were drawn down, and the curtains were pulled over the window. The overhead light was turned off, and the room seemed to resemble a cave. His eyes wandered over to A’s bed, and he found that there was a lump under the covers. Wandering in, he could see A’s dirty blonde hair splayed over the pillow. Was the other boy taking a nap? Light frowned, it was pretty late in the day to be taking a nap…

Oh, A hadn’t of moved from that spot since Light had left his room that morning, had he? Light had left early enough in the morning for breakfast, and A had still been in bed. He hadn’t of been at breakfast, and Light really hadn’t of seen him all day. He had been holed up with Matt and Mello, but still. 

Light knew that sometimes A would be especially tired and sleep through the day. It didn’t happen often, and most the time when an incident like this would occur he would stay in B’s room. Was he sick? The lump under the blankets stirred, and A turned his head to look at him. The shadows obstructed most of his face, making him look as if he was some kind of gothic painting. Light dipped his head apologetically, crossing over to collect his books quietly.

“Sorry.” He whispered. “I didn’t know you were sleeping.”

“I’m not.” A whispered back, his voice sounding thick. Light paused in his actions, looking towards the other. The darkness gave nothing away.

“Are you sick?”

A let out a bitter laugh, and Light felt it’s poison hit him full force. “Something like that.”

“Should…should I go and get B?” Light whispered, tentatively taking a step closer. He could feel something in the air, but he didn’t know what.

“No, please don’t.” A mumbled. “He’ll just fuss over me, and probably try to make me soup.”

“B can make soup?” Light chuckled, though it came out as a weak huff of air. “I thought he was only good at burning toast.”

“Heh, yeah B would make a horrible housewife.” A agreed, rolling over to face Light. “But you know what he says, jam fixes everything.”

“Yep, that sounds like B.” Light snickered, before awkwardly shifting from foot to foot. He ran his foot up his leg, which unfortunately was a nervous tick he had picked up from L. “But seriously, are you okay?”

“I’m fine.” But A didn’t sound fine. He just sounded…wrong. As if he was in a dream. “You don’t have to coddle me, Light.”

“I’m not.” Light argued softly, shifting the books inside of his arm. “It’s just…it’s late and….have you even got out of bed?”

“It’s not that late.”

“It’s three in the afternoon.”

“Oh.” A prickle ran up Light’s spine as A suddenly sat up, rubbing his eyes furiously. “It’s that late already?”

“Yeah….”

“Ah, well I’ll get up now.”

Light swallowed thickly. “Are you sure you’re okay? Because, I know yesterday-“

“It’s just a headache.” A responded softly. “Just a headache Light. It’s fine, were you going to study in here?”

“No, I can go downstairs.” Light murmured. A rolled his shoulders, picking his glasses up off of the nightstand.

“Alright, I’ll get ready now.” A sighed heavily. 

“Okay.” Light didn’t know what else to say. It was obvious that A was still upset about yesterday, and a simple headache wouldn’t have kept him in bed all day. But Light didn’t want to pry, and have the other boy get upset with him. Who knows, maybe it was just a really bad headache. 

“Oh, Light?” A called, as Light placed a hand on the door knob. “Can you…tell B that I love him?”

Light almost groaned, why was everyone acting so lobby-dovey around him today? It was starting to get on his nerves. “Yeah, don’t you want to tell him yourself?” Light really wasn’t interested in being cupid.

“Oh…oh yeah, I will later.” Light turned around, staring at the other with wide eyes. “Sorry, I’m being weird. I took some advil…um…this morning.”

“I thought you hadn’t of gotten out of bed yet today?”

“I went over to the bathroom to get it, I’d hardly call that ‘getting out of bed’.” A laughed derisively, shaking his head. 

“Oh, hopefully it wasn’t expired.” Light commented, just to have something to say. A, for some reason, felt like a shadow to him. Roger must have really upset him. “Hey, A? You know that no matter what, a damn title doesn’t define you.”

“I know, Light.” A sighed. “I know.”

“Okay.” Silence filled the room, and A continued to stare at something past him. Light couldn’t really tell, the room was still quite dark. “I’ll see you later, then.”

“Thanks Light, you were always such a good roommate.” A said, and Light paused in the doorway. What?

“Were?”

“Um..well yeah, because we’ll be graduating soon and stuff.”

“Oh, right.” Light looked down. “But, we’ll always be friends so…no need to speak in past tense.”

“Yeah, I must be really tired today.” A yawned. “Okay, I’m going to get dressed. Bye Light.”

“Bye.” He closed the door behind him, feeling as if a weight had settled upon his chest. 

-

Light sat at the empty dining room table, tapping his pencil furiously against his opened textbook page. The words all seemed to blur together, they all meant nothing to him. He knew all of this stuff already, due to his photographic memory he could probably recite the textbook cover to cover if he so pleased. But studying didn’t feel right, not know. So much had happened in the last few days, and Light’s head felt like their was a constant hammer striking into it. He groaned, burying his face inside of his hands. 

All he wanted to do was leave this place. Especially after the little display he had been privy to yesterday. He was tired of disgusting plays of power, competition, and cruelty. He knew that this wasn’t all there was to life, there had to be more. He didn’t want to remain a faceless nobody inside of an orphanage. He wanted to go out into the real world. He needed to. 

He wanted to go back to his homeland, that’s all he wanted. He felt an ache inside of his chest at the thought. Being around normal people who would admire him even more for his achievements, who wouldn’t see anything wrong with him, was an exhilarating thought. No more would he be compared to L. He wouldn’t be compared to anyone. He could finally be Light Yagami, and he could finally have his own accomplishments. 

He missed the sakura blossoms, and he missed what little memories he had of Japan. He wanted to see Tokyo again. He wanted to see the Shibuya crossing, and the Tokyo tower, and all of the other sights and landmarks he had been deprived of. He knew that he belonged in Japan, because that was his true home. And maybe, in a way, it could help him reconnect with his family. Maybe, in a was, he would be able to feel closer to them. He was too knowledgeable to believe in anything like closure, but this could be a step towards something similar. 

He was just tired of this rotten world. He was tired of the unfairness of it all, and he was tired of the horrors he had to witness every day. He wished that he could leave right now. That he could somehow find the strength to walk out of the front door and never return. That he could get on a plane, and fly home. Everything always seemed so bleak here, and so meaningless. He didn’t want to be L, so he had no reason to stay here. He had goals in life, to become the best police chief anyone had ever seen. He wanted to serve justice, he wanted to protect the innocent civilians of the world. He certainly hadn’t of been able to do that here. 

Maybe that’s what he was feeling. Powerlessness. It was a disgusting feeling that made his soul curl in on itself. He was tired of watching him and his friends be abused by the teachers. Just because they could. That was the thing. The people in positions of power would always take advantage of the weaker members of society. It was like they made it their mission to destroy these young minds.

Had A really been right? Had they somehow taken his identity without him even knowing it? His fists clenched at the thought. No, he didn’t want to be some kind of prototype. That wasn’t fair, because he was destined for greatness because of who he was. Not because he was almost as smart as L. Hell, he WAS as smart as L, their test scores were practically identical. He knew that they thought the same way, and their IQs were matching. He was no ones backup, no ones replacement. He just wanted a chance to prove himself. He needed to do something, something great.

He heard his mother’s voice in his ears, ‘My son, you are destined for greatness…’ He felt a thick lump in the back of his throat, but quickly swallowed it down. His mother’s voice had been distorted from all the years, all of the time he had been deprived of her. It sounded like a mere whisper to him now. Sometimes, he couldn’t even remember what she looked like. He had brought pictures with him, of course. But, her face looked like something from a book. Something from a dream. He could only remember bits and pieces from his shattered childhood, but he would never forget those words. His mother had saw something in him, she had known how special he was. She had known that he was more than just a carbon copy of someone else. He needed to make her proud, somehow. 

Everything was so awful, and that wasn’t fair. This wasn’t supposed to be his life! He had to do something, anything, to change the world he lived in. He knew how brilliant he was, how if he set his mind to something he could be capable of anything. There was a promise for him, just over the horizon. He didn’t know exactly what his purpose was, but he knew that he had the power within himself to change the world. He wanted to, he was tired of injustice. He was tired of monsters, of wicked people who made the world worse for the innocent. 

Light had always been an optimist, because he knew that there was still good people out there. He knew the world could change for the better, if everyone put the work in. Hell, Wammy’s could change if someone had the power to take away all of the bringers of evil. He couldn’t change Wammy’s at the moment, but maybe one day he could. And if not Wammy’s, he could go back home and bring justice to Japan. He knew that he was good, he knew he had a light in him, pardon the pun. A cloudy day didn’t always have to be cloudy, it just needed the light of the sun. 

He just needed some sign, anything to tell him what to do. He needed a golden ticket, an opportunity to escape from this place. Wammy’s made him feel like a pawn, but that’s not who he was. Light needed to control the game, for once in his life, instead of just simply playing it.

He jerked his head up straight when he heard the bells. There was a bell tower outside, that would signify the changing of the hours. Huh, he must of dozed off. The bell rang four times, signifying the new hour. The chimes were loud, jarring. He felt the hair on the back of his neck prickle.

And then, he heard a scream. A horrible, animalistic scream. It didn’t even sound human. It made his bones feel fragile and weak, and Light could here the agony inside of the wail. It sounded like hell, like pure suffering. It seemed to make the walls around him shake. 

It was B, calling for help. Light ran up the stairs.


	3. It Fell From The Heavens

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THE DEATH NOTE IS IN THE BUILDING PEOPLE! I REPEAT THE DEATH NOTE HAS FINALLY ARRIVED!!
> 
> Wow! So this is the chapter when it all happens. Definitely cannon divergent, and I am so interested to hear all of your thoughts!!
> 
> Also, Beyond's comments weren't put in there just for the sake of them being misogynistic. THAT was a very specific...erm....foreshadow...;)
> 
> And these chapters are certainly very long with a lot of timeskips, and that's definitely going to be the style of this fic. I think there will only be about ten or eleven chapters.
> 
> Okay! I am so eager to hear all of your thoughts and comments, and I hope you all enjoy today's chapter! Cheers!
> 
> P.S. TW because A's suicide is discussed by Light in the first few paragraphs.

It was raining, which was horribly appropriate. The water splashed on the window, creating streaks on the glass. Light watched as the droplets raced each other, all furiously sliding down. It was always a race, everything in life was. A dull rumble of thunder could be heard, and the sky lit up for a brief moment with a flash of white lightning. But, the clouds quickly turned back to their dull grayness after the light had passed. The weather had been horrible ever since the funeral.

It had been a week since A had died. Killed himself, not died. It hadn’t of been his time, but he had still passed on. And he had only been eighteen, his birthday had only been a few weeks before, on the fifth. All of that potential, all of that brightness, was gone. A's life had been snuffed out, and it was gone forever. 

It made Light sick to think that he had been the last person to talk to the younger boy. A had lied to him, he hadn’t of taken a shower. he hadn’t of gotten ready for the day. He had hung himself in the closet, with Light’s belt of all things. He swallowed thickly, something he had owned had taken away A’s soul. He had moved all of his clothes to the dresser, and hadn’t of opened the closet since. It was like a tomb in there, it still smelled of death. The whole room actually smelled of death. It was a nauseating, thick stench. The space seemed quite, darker. The room suddenly felt too big, and Light knew why. There was something missing. All of A’s posters and belongings were still there, waiting for him. His life looked untouched, and a stranger would think that this was simply a normal room that housed two teenage boys. Sometimes, Light felt that A would walk into the room and send him a reassuring smile, telling him it was all a nightmare. That everything was okay, and that he hadn’t of died.

But no, A’s body was underground in the backyard. Under all of the grass and dirt, just waiting to disintegrate. To disappear forever.

Light had seen the body, he had seen the way that the other boy had slowly swung from side to side. Him and B, before Roger and Mr. Hamlin had rushed into the room and called the paramedics. B had found him, because he was going to ask A to watch a movie. Light didn’t know what movie. They hadn’t of watched the movie, obviously. B had screamed and cried, something Light had never seen the other boy do. When he had rushed into his room that day, B had been curled up on the floor reaching towards the other. His red eyes had been wide with horror and fear, as if he was seeing a monster. 

Light still remembered the way he had frozen, how his blood had seemingly turned into frozen sludge in his veins. Even know, he still couldn’t believe what he had saw. Nothing felt real. He had just stood there, staring at what had once been his friend.

B was an absolute wreck. He had barely left his room since A’s funeral, where he had sat silently glaring at the coffin the whole time. When he did speak, it was to cry and curse and scream. Whenever he did leave his room, it was to come and sleep on A’s bed. The room was like a memorial to him, and so Light let him grieve in peace. He didn’t try to talk to B, unless the other boy had something to say. All he had had to say was that it was all L’s fault. Light hadn’t of disagreed with him, because he knew it was pointless. That was what B had to believe, right now. He had to blame someone other than his dead lover. He needed someone to hate, someone to blame for everything. He knew that B needed the hatred right now. Because without hatred, all he had was sadness.

Light hadn’t of told anyone that he had been the last person to speak to A. He couldn’t. Because, no matter how stupid and misguided the thought was, he blamed himself. He cursed himself, wondering why he had left. If he had stayed in the room and talked to the other, would he still be alive? Light knew something was wrong that day, he had felt it. Why hadn’t he of stayed? He knew that the other must have done it shortly after he had left, because when he was found the body was already cold. There was no saving, nothing anyone could do. Would A have just done it another time, if Light hadn’t of left? Was he already so far gone, the only thing he could think to do was to end it all? Had he already been dead the last time Light had spoken to him? He didn’t know, only A did. And he couldn’t answer those questions. So many questions, because he hadn’t of even left a note. It was obviously rushed, like he needed to escape no matter what. 

Light hated the fact that this had happened. And that he didn’t stop it. That he hadn’t of saved A that day. he wished he could have. It was just like his parents. Everyone around him was dying, and it seemed as if he was powerless to stop it. In a way, A had been murdered. Indirectly. Vy this school. By the pressure, and abuse, and trials of it all. Because no one talked about their feelings, no comfort was provided ever. It was just another unfairness, another injustice. It seemed as if those were pilling up around him.

Light hadn’t of cried, he had done that silently. He had hurt within the confines of his mind, because crying wouldn’t bring A back. He could feel regret until he was blue in the face, but it wouldn’t change anything. He didn’t talk to anyone about it, and no one talked to him. Near had let a tear slip out of his eye at the funeral, and Mello had prayed to God for A’s soul. Matt had sat there silently, along with Light and B. They shared this horror, this burden, but they couldn’t talk about it. But they knew what they were all feeling. They all shared the same loss, the same heartbreak. They were all suffering, but there was nothing to be done. It was there, just there. 

Light was drolly staring at his textbook, tapping his fingers along the pages, when he heard the door open behind him. He could tell from the heaviness of the steps that it was B. The other boy would always stop for a moment, as if he was expecting A to still be lying on that bed, and his steps would grow slow and defeated when that hope would be dashed. Light inhaled sharply, his head throbbing. Everything seemed dark.

“Hey.” B muttered, and Light looked over his shoulder in shock. B was sitting on the bed, hugging a pillow tight to his chest. The other boys light had been seemingly snuffed out as well. The usually fiery and mischievous boy had been replaced with a hollow shell of himself. His usual cocky and confident red eyes had been widened with defeat and hurt. It seemed as if a part of B had died as well. 

“Hey.” Light said, because apparently B wanted to talk today. There was nothing he could say to comfort the other, he knew hollow condolences would only make the still open wound sting more. B would talk, and Light would listen. He already knew what B was going to say, anyway.

“Studying?” B raised an eyebrow, weakly gesturing towards the open book.

“Kinda. I’m mostly just thinking..”

“Yeah.” B let out a short puff of air, which sounded like a cross between a laugh and a sob. “I wish I could turn my thoughts off, I’m tired of thinking.”

Light nodded limply. “It’d be nice to find an off switch.”

“A did. I doubt he thinks anymore.”

The temperature in the room turned chilly, and Light closed his eyes. 

“You know what? L just called me. I didn’t answer, obviously, because why would I?” B started, his voice growing hard. “Probably to offer his condolences, what a dick.”

Light felt a stab in his heart. “I’m sure he means well.”

“Fuck him. Sorry Light, I know you two are close or whatever but I can’t hear anything good about him.” B spit angrily. “He couldn’t even make it to the funeral because of his dumb fucking case. He doesn’t care, and A died because of him anyway.”

Light knew that L did care, and was probably just as heartbroken as the rest of him, but he nodded slowly. L had called him too, and started to talk about A, but Light had cut him off. He didn’t want to talk about A with anyone. He couldn’t. L hadn’t of been there. The two had spoken about nothing of importance since then. L had called Light again to tell him that Quillsh had agreed to let him take the entrance exams, and Light had been mildly excited, and then he had asked about the case which L didn’t tell him any real details about. Light wanted to cry to L, but he didn’t, because that would just be foolish.

“I don’t want to talk about A, not with him of all people.” B hissed. “His stupid case is all he cares about, and I looked it up, it’s not all that special.”

Light felt a prickling sensation in his spine, and turned around to look at the other. “You know about the case? How?”

“It wasn’t that hard to figure out.” B snorted. “It’s all over the news, and he told me he was going to Japan. I looked up the news there, and it’s all anyone can talk about.”

“What’s the case?”

“Something about some serial killer.” B said, clutching the pillow tighter. “I think it’s a global scam, or some kind of cult, but whatever. They’re calling it Kira, because it sounds like the english word for ‘killer.’ Stupid, right?”

“Why do you think it’s a scam?” Light questioned, mulling the word over in his head. Kira.

“Because, it’s just a bunch of criminals being killed by heart attacks. But, like, there’s never any evidence and they all just seem to suddenly drop dead.”

Light frowned, heart attacks? “Are they caused by some kind of poison?”

“Well, some policeman blabbed the details of the case to the news, and apparently not.”

Light rolled his eyes, case details should really be kept confidential. “Maybe it’s a coincidence? Heart attacks aren’t the usual way someone would murder someone.”

B’s red eyes grew wide, calculating. “No, it’s more than that. Because they’re all criminals, and most of them were young and healthy. Plus, L pulled some stunt that proved it’s intentional.”

Light furrowed his eyebrows, crossing his arms. “What kind of stunt?”

“Oh man, you haven’t seen?” B chuckled, suddenly standing up and coming over to stand over Light. “Turn on your computer, I can’t believe you haven’t seen the video.”

Light did what he was told, and typed in his password. Even though his mind was reeling. “What video?”

B leaned over, and started typing on his keyboard. “It’s on fucking youtube.”

“B, youtube isn’t a reliable source. This could be a hoax-“

“No, 'cuz L did it.” He insisted. “A bunch of people recorded it, because apparently it was only shown in one specific region of Japan.”

Light watched as the page loaded, and a video called ‘L vs. Kira’ showed up. Light resisted the urge to snort as B clicked on the thumbnail. Really? How childish. What was this, a war? 

The video loaded, and Light looked as it seemed to be a normal broadcast. A man called Lind L. Tailor appeared on screen, claiming that he was L. Light smirked, because he knew that obviously wasn’t true. He started blabbing about how he was going to catch Kira, how he was a reprehensible killer, all of that. But Light’s breath caught in his throat as suddenly the man yelped, and clutched his chest. He fell down with a thud, and Light felt his eyes widen as he was carried of screen. Holy shit…

“I know, right?” B snickered from behind him,. “Poor old chump got murdered right on live television, just for calling a murderer evil. Obviously this ‘Kira’ has a fragile little ego. Now, watch this-“

Light watched with bated breath as the gothic L appeared on screen, and L’s robotic voice filtered through the speakers.

“Listen, Kira,” L started, the distorted voice crackling. “If you did indeed just kill Lind L. Tailor, I should tell you that he was really just an inmate scheduled for execution today. You wouldn’t have heard about him because we arrested him in secret. He was not me.”

“Damn…” Light breathed out. “B-but…how is that possible? How could Kira kill without even being there? I mean he literally just fell over and-“

“Sh, sh.” B shushed, tapping his spindly finger on the screen. “Now, watch this.”

“But I assure you, L is real. I do exist. Now, try to kill me!”

Light felt his mouth fall open. "What the hell is he doing?” He murmured.

“What’s wrong? Can’t do it? Hurry up and kill me now!” Light watched the screen with bated breath, even though he knew that L was still alive. He could hear the challenge in the other’s voice, under all of those filters. He could hear that L was teasing, he was goading this ‘Kira’ on to kill him. Light had often heard that tone when he and L would play chess, or debate about a particularly harsh topic. 

Even though Light knew that L had endless amounts of security and anonymity to keep him safe, it still unsettled him to hear the man call for death. 

“Can’t do it?” Light could hear the sharp intake of breath on the other side, and knew that that meant that L was excited. “Well, Kira, it seems that there are some people you can’t kill. Thank you for the hint, now let me return the favor. This was announced as a worldwide broadcast, but the truth is we are only broadcasting in Tokyo, Japan. I had planned to broadcast in all of the regions at different times, but it looks like that won’t be necessary. I know now where you are.”

“Oh my God…” Light breathed out. Kira was real, and was in Tokyo. 

“He found Kira on the first try.” B muttered.

“How…?” But L had started talking again. 

“The police treated your first victim as an unrelated incident, but in all actuality, the first person you killed was in Tokyo. Among all of the felons who have died of heart attacks, this victims crime was the least serious. And this crime was only reported inside of Japan. I deduced this much, you had to be in Japan. We decided to broadcast in Tokyo first, because that is where the first victim was slain, and lucky me I found you.”

“On the first try.” Light murmured. L’s reasoning made total sense, and if it was Light he would’ve done the same thing. He paused the video, going to Google. He had to know more. “Who was the first victim Kira killed?”

“Dunno.” B said, and Light heard him moving back onto the bed. “But as much as I’m pissed at L right now, even I have to admit that that was pretty funny. Kira must be sweating.”

Surprisingly, when Light typed in ‘Kira’, thousands of sights popped up. He widened his eyes, scrolling down. This case was bigger than he expected. He knew that L only took on rather important cases, but most of them didn’t have the public attention that this one currently had.

Most of the sights were blogs discussing who Kira was, some were actually fan sights. Gag. He clicked on a timeline of Kira’s murders and scrolled down to the first one. L had been right. It had been a man in Tokyo, a stalker. He had been convicted twice, but let go due to the victims dropping their charges. Light rolled his eyes, probably due to intimidation. The justice system was such a joke sometimes.

Kira had only killed criminals, from the look of it. The one after had been an arsonist, who had ‘accidentally’ killed his family in the fire, according to him. Light almost snorted, yeah right. Then there was a murderer, who had apparently killed a married couple. Haru and Mai Amane. Something about those names sounded familiar, but Light couldn’t quite place it…

Ah, right. The article mentioned that those had been the parents of a new up and coming idol, Misa Amane. Light felt his heart clench as he looked at the blonde girl who’s paparazzi picture had been taken outside of the courtroom. He could sympathize with her, she was an orphan too. Like him. Her parents had been killed by another too, but at least she had gotten justice…

The man had apparently been pardoned, once again due to lack of evidence. Light felt his eyes narrowing. Really? Public opinion had swayed, and some thought that he was simply in the wrong place at the wrong time. Light clicked out of the article, going back to the time line. How hard was it to determine whether someone was guilty or not? The daughter had even testified that she had seen him leave her house on the day of the murder. What other proof did they need?

He scrolled through the list of mugshots, there were about two hundred of them. Kira sure did work fast. Most of them were thieves, or murderers. Someone who had wronged another in some way for another. 

“Kira is mostly killing those who have gotten reduced sentences.” Light muttered. “Or those who weren’t convicted due to a lack of evidence. Kira has a vendetta, a mission they’re trying to accomplish.”

“Those blogs have mission statements.” B snorted. “Apparently, Kira is their ‘savior’. What a load of horseshit, I told you that it was a cult. So what, just because this killer is killing other killers that makes him a hero? Isn’t that a bit hypocritical-“

But Light had stopped listening to B, his words sounding like rushing water inside of his ears. His vision focused, and then unfocused as his computer screen seemed to become much too bright. The next mugshot, was of a man named Kurou Otoharada.

That had been the man who had killed his parents.

Light leaned closer to the screen, his heart thundering furiously inside of his chest. His mouth was suddenly dry and tasted like ash, and he read over the details. Dead, he was really dead. On the day of his release, no less. He had been leaving the courthouse when apparently he had just fallen over and died. He was gone….

Light couldn’t help it, his lips curved up into a pleased smile. It made his cheeks ache, and he made sure to keep his face turned away from B. A voice inside of him was telling him that it was immoral to be happy that another was murdered, but he told that voice to pipe down. He had finally gotten justice! That man was dead, and would never hurt anyone again. He had gotten the death penalty, in a way. He had gotten what he had deserved. An eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, he had finally paid for his sins. His parents…..

*They were avenged.* Light realized, as a strange feeling bubbled up inside of him. HE had been avenged. This Kira, whoever they were, had finally done what the government couldn’t. What no one could do. He had made sure that Light’s parent’s death hadn’t of been in vain. Finally someone other than himself was suffering because of their demise. He sort of felt…

Freedom. 

“Helloooo? Earth to Light?” A voice called inside of his ear, and he quickly exited the site, turning around to face the other. B’s eyebrow was raised, and his mouth was turned down into a frown. “Did you just space out? I’ve been talking to you for the last five minutes.”

“Oh.” Light swallowed awkwardly, that had never happened before. usually he was hyper focused, what had happened?

*Well, I have just kind of had my mind blown.*

“I get it.” B scoffed. “You wanna see if you can figure out who he is before L can, huh?”

“He?” Light furrowed his eyebrows. “Why do you think Kira is male?”

“Please, only men can commit murder. Girls don’t have the stomach for it.”

“B…” Light rolled his eyes. “That’s incredibly misogynistic.”

B held up his hands, shaking his head wildly. “No I’m not!” He argued. “I just know what type of people criminals are. I mean, look at Linda! She only wants to become a sketch artist because she can’t stand to look at crime scene photos..they’re too ‘gory’ and ‘unsettling’.”

“Linda is just one girl.” Light scoffed. “Have you forgotten about Aileen Wuornos? The Barbie and Ken killers? Leonarda Cianciulli?”

“Okay, well…” B fumbled awkwardly. “Those were just outliers. Kira has killed like…shit, probably over a hundred people by now. I mean, whenever I discuss murderers, all the girls around here always look at me as if I sound deranged…”

“You do sound deranged when you’re talking about murders.” Light stated dryly. That was one of the odd things about B, he was much too interested in crime scene photos. He had always had a fascination for blood, and the kinds of different wounds you could inflict on people. Light just thought that he watched too many slasher films.

“You can’t rule out anyone during a criminal investigation.” Light told him. “What if Kira is a girl, and thinks that no one would suspect her because of that fact?”

“Kira is kind of a girly name.” B snickered, sighing dramatically and flopping down on the bed. “I’m gonna take a nap.” He mumbled, clutching onto the pillow. “Don’t let me stop you from your little love affair over there.”

Light wrinkled his nose, before turning back to the computer. Was B right? Did he want to catch Kira before L? It was a fascinating case, he had to admit it. And it would be a distraction from everything that had happened around here….and he had solved L’s cases in the past, when he had stopped through the files. Some of his suggestions had even helped to solve the case in the past. 

But the biggest question on his mind currently was how did Kira do it? How ere these killings happening? He typed a few random searches into google, but only wild theories came up. Some thought that the CIA or INTERPOL even was going around, discreetly plucking off murderers who had escaped the death penalty. Some thought that it was simply God’s work, while others even went as far to say that Kira had magical powers.

Light let out a dry puff of air. Sure. Magical powers only existed in movies, it wasn’t logical or reasonable to think that someone was out there wishing death on these people. What would that even mean? No, that was impossible. That was the easy answer.

But…how did Kira kill? All of these criminals were relatively young, and aside from a few, none were reported as having heart disease in their medical history. Lind L Tailor had been killed, seemingly, by a ghost. Nothing had been shot into him, no one had touched him before he had died. Had he been injected by some kind of poison beforehand? A slow acting poison? Who would have had access? More importantly, how was there no evidence? No security footage, no DNA, nothing. It seemed as if they were just dropping like flies, and Light almost wanted to believe that it was sheer coincidence.

But after that broadcast, he couldn’t. After learning about his parent’s killer, he couldn’t. There was a reason, there was someone out there making this happen.

He blew his bangs away from his eyes, going to type in L’s password. No joke, it was sw44t$1987c0ilLR5. yeah, it hadn’t of exactly been a challenge to find. But Light frowned, as the restricted access popped up. He tried again, but he was still blocked. Suddenly, the screen went dark.

No peaking on this one, Light. This case is important.

Light angrily narrowed his eyes, and clicked out of the program. Seriously? He should’ve known that L would figure out that he had hacked into him, but he wasn’t even going to allow Light to possibly help? What a load of shit, had Light ever failed L before? Had he ever sullied a case before? NO! This was just L, wanting to win at this case before any one else could have the chance. 

Light ran his fingers through his hair, not being able to help the annoyed sigh that passed his lips. Well, if that’s how L wanted to play it, fine. He would figure it out all on his own! It wasn’t like it was impossible, he had never been stumped by a case before. He had the highest scores in all of his criminal justice classes. He would figure out who Kira was, no matter what. Because this case felt different, it felt personal.

A glimmer of something flashed inside of Light’s heart. It felt like this case was made for him.

-

Later that day, after the rain had cleared, Light went to go find Matt and Mello. Apparently they had gone ‘hunting for worms’, which was very childish and embarrassing in Light’s opinion. Roger had asked Light to fetch the boys from the forest. And what Roger asked for, he always received. 

Light scowled as his foot sunk into a particularly wet patch of ground, and he cringed as he felt his sock dampen. Perfect. The mist was still thick and heavy, and Light hopped that his hair wouldn’t puff up. He hated taming frizz. Not only did he hate the rainy, miserable weather, this had also pulled him away from his research. His annoying, painful research.

He had been at it all afternoon, not even noticing that dinner time had come and gone. That was the first time in a long time that he had lost himself inside of a case, but he just couldn’t help it. It was frustrating how elusive Kira was, how all of his murderers were seemingly carried out by an invisible man. Even after scouring the darkest and most secretive places of the internet, he couldn’t find a single detail that hadn’t already been made public. He felt as if there was a piece of the puzzle missing. 

If only L would let him work on this case? He made a grumbling noise in the back of his throat as he thought about it. He really wanted to find Kira, for some reason. Light loved mysteries, and this was certainly up there. A seemingly not visible killer was going around and striking criminals down. It was….invigorating. It made his head feel light, and it actually made him feel as if he was using his brain power for something important. He was tired of looking through mindless textbooks and writing fucking essays about manners. He was given intelligence for a reason, and he’d be damned if he let it waste away. 

There was something about Kira, something about the way they were committing the murders. It wasn’t just for the sake of violence or to snuff out another life. It wasn’t because they wanted to go down in history as just another chump who loved bloodshed. Because the murders weren’t even violent. No, it was something else entirely. 

Justice. Maybe he had just been looking at too many of the pro-Kira sites, but Kira was trying to repaved justice in a new way. He was cleaning up the world, he was eliminating criminals. Because Kira thought it was right. And Light…Light found himself with not much sympathy for the victims. They had chosen that life, after all. They should have been prepared for the consequences. They would’ve eventually gone down to burn in hell anyway.

Forgiveness was for nuns and mothers, and criminals deserved no mercy. And finally, the scum of the world were getting what they deserved. Light wanted to study Kira’s mind, he wanted to know this killer. 

If his life had been made a little bit brighter by the passing of his parents, that was proof that this was justice. Everyone else had failed Light, except for this new force. He didn’t know what to make of it. It was truly the most fascinating thing he had ever had the privilege of learning about. He wanted to learn everything.

A cool wind blew through his locks, making him involuntarily shiver. He looked out into the forest, which seemed so much darker and more terrifying in the midst of the storm. He heard faint screams coming from behind the multitude of trees, and leaned onto a trunk. The leaves made a rustling sound, and he closed his eyes, suddenly exhausted. Was he really expected to go in there?

“Mello? Matt?” He called, but received no answer. He hoped a witch hadn’t of taken them to her home and decided to gobble them up. That sort of shit would happen at Wammy’s. 

A harsh clap of thunder suddenly sounded, sending Light almost two feet in the air. He cleared his throat, annoyed at his meekness, and turned around. He covered his head, paranoid about a dash of lightning striking through him. The light filled the grey sky, and suddenly he saw something. It was a small object…something that was flying. Was it a bird?

No, it wasn’t flying. It was falling. And it was an object, not an animal. It was floating through the wind, but falling with purpose. He narrowed his eyes, trying to study the thing until it fell a few feet from him with a loud thump. Padding over the sodden grass, he looked down to find a black book. What in the very fuck?

Without knowing why, he crouched down to retrieve it. It had fallen right in front of him, after all. He swallowed thickly, reading the words scrawled on the cover. 

“Death Note?” He muttered, turning the book over. Where on earth had this come from? It looked as if it had just fallen from the heavens. And, surprisingly, it wasn’t wet. It was cool to the touch, and upon opening it, he found it was filled with blank pages. Just like his normal composition notebook. He flipped through the white pages, expecting to see some clue of who it belonged to, but there was nothing.

It wasn’t until he got to the first few pages, which were dark black in comparison to the previously blank white pages, that he saw writing. There were…rules?

“The human who’s name is written in this note shall…die?” He murmured, wrinkling his nose. He suddenly looked up, closing the notebook with a snap. He studied the dark trees around him, expecting to see Mello or Matt crouched behind them and snickering. He didn’t see them, but he immediately knew this was Mello’s handiwork. It had to be. B was still sleeping when Light had left him, and Mello had already tried to play a joke like this before. He had sent a letter to Near, saying that if he didn’t shave all of his hair off he would die at midnight. Light scoffed, what was this, chain mail?

“Very funny guys.” He called out sarcastically, waving the book in the air. “Death Note…as in a notebook of death? This is seriously lame, and just twisted.”

But the only thing to be heard was the rustling of leaves. He frowned. 

“Come on Mello, can’t you do better than this? Anyone who’s name is written in this note will die? Seriously? That’s not even slightly believable.”

But he got no response, and a chill ran up his spine. The book suddenly felt warm inside of his hands, and he looked down to stare at it. Well, this was just stupid. As if writing a name on a piece of paper would kill someone. It was bollocks, it was lunacy, and someone was obviously trying to pull a fast one on him. This sounded like some bad horror movie written for preschoolers, and Light certainly didn’t believe it. No he did not! L wouldn’t believe it, and he was just as smart as L, so. This just wasn’t feasible, and he should put it back where he found it. 

But as he bent back down to lay it upon the grass, he paused. It almost felt as if his fingers were stuck to it. He stood, opening it up again for reasons unbeknownst to him. There were skulls on the rule pages, which Light just found tacky. It looked like some kind of gothic art project.

*This note will not take effect unless the writer has the person’s face in their mind while writing his/her name…If the cause of death is written within the next forty seconds of writing the person’s name, it will happen…blah blah.” Light quickly skimmed over the rules, still inwardly sighing to himself, when suddenly he felt colder. Colder than he previously had. The hairs on the back of his neck seemed to stand up, and he felt his muscles stiffen. 

He felt like someone was watching him. He whipped around, but was only met with the sight of Wammy’s house. Spinning around, he was met with only trees and the sounds of the storm. Which wasn’t over, apparently, because he felt a drop of rain land on his nose. Grimacing, he quickly stalked back to the house. He hated bad weather.

He tucked the notebook into the front of his pants, deciding to do a bit more investigating in his room.

-

Light turned on his desk lamp, setting the notebook down lightly. He was all alone now, as B had apparently went back to his own room. The rain pounded furiously against his window, and he opened the notebook back up. 

He ran his finger slightly over the pages, feeling a jolt of electricity run through him. Well, this was just ridiculous. Clearly he was imagining nonsense. But he read a certain rule, one that had his eyes widening. 

‘If the cause of death is not specified, the person will simply die of a heart attack.’

Light leaned forward, his hair brushing the pages. The book smelled like something ancient, like sand.

Heart attacks..?

No, it couldn’t be. He scoffed at his ridiculousness, swaying in his chair. *This obviously means that it was Mello then. B said he knew about the current case L was working on, so obviously he made this just to spook me.*

It was an elaborate prank, Light had to give him that. As if this could explain how Kira…killed. Kira wrote names down? Impossible, that was literally impossible. He decided to read more, even though he thought that there must be something seriously wrong with him for not throwing the book into the trashcan.

‘After writing the cause of death, details of the death should be written in the next six minutes and forty seconds.’

Light frowned, why were the rules so oddly detailed? Mello must have spent a lot of time making this notebook, and thinking up the rules. How insane. 

Should he try and prank Mello back? *Heh, maybe I should write Roger’s name.* Light mused, settling back into his chair. It’d be funny to convince Mello he actually thought it was real. Maybe he’d take credit for the Kira killings with this thing. Light chuckled to himself, pushing the notebook to the side and typing in his password.

He scrolled through the news, and his eyes were drawn to a live report. Apparently in Canada, some mad man had taken a church service hostage, and was demanding money for their safe release. He rolled his eyes, as the helicopter flew around the building. The footage was grainy, and he could see that police officers had surrounded the building. Did this criminal really think he was going to be able to get away with something like this? Criminals were some of the dumbest members of society.

His mugshot appeared on the screen, Boris Nightingale. What an ugly name. The man’s beady green eyes glared through the screen, and Light stared right back at his balding head. He hoped none of those hostages got hurt. They were just trying to practice their faith innocently, after all. What a disgrace to the human race.

His eyes unthinkingly flicked to the Death Note. *Should I test it out?*

Light shook his head at the thought. No, he didn’t just think that thought seriously, right? Because he didn’t believe in whatever this Death Note had written down on it. It was a prank. A dumb…  
silly….  
crazy….  
prank…

His hand ghosted over the pencil container from his desk, before he limply grabbed one. His eyes widened as he realized what he had done. He was actually going to do this? Really? He felt embarrassment flush his cheeks pink, and discreetly looked around. He was glad L had convinced Roger not to put up security cameras. If anyone could see him right now, he would be humiliated.

*It’s just curiosity.* He told himself. He was going to convince himself once and for all that this book was false, that it was all a ruse created by his blonde friend. That way, he would have no doubts inside of his mind.

He pencil hovered over the paper, and he tapped the led slightly on the page. *Would this make me a murderer?*

He swiftly banished that thought, laughing to himself at the absurdity. *Obviously it’s not going to work.*

He closed his eyes, writing the man’s name and imagining his wrinkled and decrepit face. When he looked back down at the page, his own neat penmanship stared right back at him. He looked down at his wrist, and watched as forty seconds ticked by. He didn’t know why, but he could feel sweat collect at his hairline.

After forty seconds had passed, he closed his eyes in…relief. Not disappointment, obviously not. “Oh well, I didn’t even believe it would work.” He muttered to himself, going to click on another tab. Mello was so full of shit-

“Wait!” A newscaster’s voice suddenly came through the speakers, making Light remove his hand from the mouse as the big red ‘UPDATE’ flashed on the screen. “The hostages are exiting the building now! They’ve-they’ve somehow managed to escape!”

Light felt his blood turn into ice as he watched the hoard of people furiously run out of the doors. It was a minute after he had written the name.

*Get ahold of yourself Light, don’t be ridiculous-*

“The special forces are moving in!” The newscaster relayed, sending nervous glances over her shoulder. “The hostages all look to be unharmed…”

No…Light sunk back into his chair. He put a hand over his heart, and it thudded against his palm furiously. He shook his head, watching the screen with wide eyes. No…no they’d bring the man out, alive. They had to. All he had done was written a bloody name! That wasn’t murder, it couldn’t be!

“We don’t know if the suspects have been arrested…Huh? Yes?” The newscaster started, looking into the camera with wide eyes. “Okay, we now have e confirmation. The suspect has been found dead inside.”

Light sucked in a harsh breath of air, his entire mind going blank. Multiple thoughts, feelings, emotions ran behind his eyes…but all he could do was stare at the screen in front of him.

“The police are denying allegations that they shot the man-“ Light looked over to the notebook, the name glaring back at him. The lead was black, and bold. It made his stomach clench in on itself. *Dead…?”

“So it’s quite possible he was feeling cornered, and decided to commit suicide?”

“Well according to statements from the hostages, the suspect just suddenly collapsed.” The newscaster said to a new man who had saddled up next to her, probably a cohost. 

Light exited the tab, and grabbed his waist tightly. He couldn’t hear that anymore. A heart attack? No! It had to be a coincidence. Right? There…there was absolutely no way he had just killed a man when with pencil and a notebook. That wouldn’t physically work! It just wouldn’t. It defied the very laws of the universe, it defied humanity. 

He realized that his hands were shaking, and clasped them together. Now his shoulders were shaking, so he planted his head firmly on the desk. As much as he wanted to deny it, he knew the truth. He was too smart not to. This wasn’t a coincidence. He had murdered someone. 

*B-but he was going to hurt those hostages!* Light told himself, biting his lip so hard that he tasted sour blood. *I-I saved them, didn’t I? And I didn’t mean to kill him, right?*

But Light had wanted to use the Death Note. Because of his morbid curiosity, a man had died. And some part of him…had wanted the notebook to work.

*I-It won’t be overlooked!* He thought, as panic suddenly gripped his heart. Dread flooded through his veins and he kept up, pacing over the worn carpet in the middle of the room. He ran his cold, shaking fingers through his hair. His nerves were buzzing with activity. “I’m a killer now! I could be arrested…I live with a bunch of detective’s in training for God’s sake!*

He suddenly stopped, and looked down at the notebook. Could he even call it that? It was obvious that it was some sort of black magic. Maybe the notebook was hexed? Light shuddered, slumping down into his chair. 

This HAD to be how Kira killed. It was illogical, and irrational, and just plain crazy, but it was the truth. He had killed a man on another land mass, while barely lifting a finger. He had killed him with a heart attack, just like Kira.

*Shit!* His eyes widened. *Will this be considered a Kira crime? And if so, does that mean there’s another one of these notebooks out there?*

He picked the notebook up, holding it under the light of his lamp. It was the perfect murder weapon. Hell, he hadn’t of even thought that it COULD be a weapon. It was just an ordinary notebook…one might think he was going through a ‘phase’ if he carried it around. One could kill in plain sight, and it would just look like they were writing meaningless nonsense. The Death Note…what was it?

“I see you’ve found my notebook.” A gravelly voice suddenly said behind him, and Light felt all of the blood leave his face. That was not a voice he recognized…

He spun around, and actually felt his heart physically stop. Lightning flashed outside, illuminating the person on the other side of his room. No, NOT a person. Some thing…some creature…some DEMON was staring at him. It was a skeletal thing, it’s dark boney body was contorted in an incredibly unnatural way and it’s wings flapped loosely behind it’s person. It’s face was stark white, and horribly disfigured. It’s blazing red eyes looked at him curiously, studying him….

“AHHH!” Light heard himself scream, the noise ripping itself out of his throat. He flung himself backwards, landing on the floor with a painful thud. He blinked his eyes, hoping somehow that this demon was a trick of the light, but it didn’t disappear. It’s wide blue lips stretched into a malicious, evil grin and it’s razor sharp teeth glinted in the lowlight.

“No need to act surprised.” The thing chuckled, and Light felt a shiver crawl up his spine. His backside throbbed dully, as he scrambled up and held on to the wall tightly. Was he dreaming? Hallucinating? He wanted to run, but knew that this thing would probably just follow him…and then kill him. 

“I am the shinigami Ryuk.” The demon continued, extending a clawed hand towards him. Light sucked in a harsh breath, and suddenly the ground beneath him seemed to fade away. “That used to be my notebook. I see that you’ve just tested it out, and found that it is no ordinary notebook.”

“Shinigami…?’ Light breathed out, swallowing thickly. Ryuk nodded, cocking his head. Light wanted to shake his head, but in a way, this made sense. Of course this weapon was supernatural! There was no other explanation. But…demons…god’s of death…actually existed.

He felt dizzy, and forced himself to sit back onto his chair. 

“A God of death, huh?” He murmured, forcing his face to twist back into an expression of neutrality. He absolutely could not let this thing no how terrified he was. That would just spur it on to attack. No, he was calm…cool…collected. He was Light Yagami, he was definitely not afraid of monsters!

“I’m not surprised.” He forced a smirk onto his face. “It’s the only reasonable explanation for this notebook-“

Suddenly, a harsh knock at his door sounded and Light quickly twisted his head. Seriously? Of all the times to bother him, someone had picked now? He literally had a murderous notebook and a shinigami in the middle of his room! This was absolute madness.

“Go ahead, answer it.” Ryuk chuckled, and Light looked back at him curiously. The shinigami just smiled again. “No one can see me unless they touch the notebook…so, you better hide it.”

*Huh, that’s useful.* Light mused, quickly shoving the Death Note into a drawer. “Come in.”

His door opened, and Light held his breath. He would be positively furious if the shinigami had lied to him. He’d probably die on the spot if someone saw his ugly mug inside of his room. Matt’s head peaked in, his wet red hair clinging to his face. he looked around the room quizzically, and Light inwardly cheered. Either Matt was too stupid to realize he should be scared by a God of death or, the more likely scenario, he only saw Light.

“Are you okay dude?” He questioned, opening the door wider. Light could hear small drips of water, and saw that his soaked clothes hung to his lithe frame. The brunette scowled, he didn’t want his floor to become warped.

“I heard you scream…”

Light cleared his throat, shaking out his hair and slightly chuckling. “Oh…sorry about that. I saw a spider.” Thank God lying had always come easily to him. Ryuk laughed, and Light nearly flinched before he remembered himself. If his head wasn’t still reeling, he probably would have found Matt’s cluelessness to the supernatural creature amusing. 

“Yuck!” The red-head’s green eyes widened as he swung his head around the room. “Where did it go?”

“I killed it.” Light waved his hand, inwardly laughing about the double-meaning to his statement. “It’s fine Matt.”

“Oh…okay. I hope there won’t be fucking bugs in my room now.” The other muttered, casting one more glance towards Light before shutting the door tightly. Light listened to his footsteps fade away, and released a sigh he hadn’t of even realized he was holding in. 

“So, Ryuk, this notebook is yours?” Light finally asked, turning his attention back to the demon. He unconsciously raised a finger to his mouth, before he ripped his hand away. Dammit! He definitely needed to kick all of these ‘L’ habits. How embarrassing.

“It is.” Ryuk said, going over to flop onto his bed. Light stared as the being laid on his side, and propped his head up with his talon. He was lounging around as if he was teenage girl. “I found it in my realm, the shinigami realm. So since I had two, I figured that i’d drop one of ‘em and have some fun down on earth. I have to haunt the first human that picks up my note.”

Light sank back into his chair, spinning it around in a slow circle as he absorbed the information. “There…are others of your kind?”

“Obviously.” Ryuk rolled his eyes, as if Light was being ridiculous. As if he wasn’t learning about a world full of demons!

“Do…they all have notebooks?”

“Yes. I’m not the only death god, that’d be exhausting.” Ryuk chuckled. Light furrowed his eyebrows. If the shinigami had to haunt whoever possessed their notebooks…then-

“Are there other shinigami on earth?” Light questioned lowly, making sure to keep his voice soft so that the other’s wouldn’t overheat him and think that he was talking to himself. That would be embarrassing, and would make him look mad. “Is there another notebook on earth?”

Ryuk shrugged, and Light felt his face grow hot. “So basically, you know but you’re not going to tell me.”

“Don’t you have any other questions about the Death Note?” Ryuk yawned. “I imagine finding that a notebook that has the power to kill would be quite something.”

Light rolled his eyes. “I read the rules, I know how it works.”

Ryuk opened his mouth to continue, but Light cut him off.

“I know there’s another one of these…Death Notes on earth. There’s someone going by the name of Kira, killing criminals off with heart attacks.”

“I may have heard about Kira from around the realm.” Ryuk told him, shooting him a shit eating grin. If the shinigami had had eyebrows, he probably would’ve wagged them. “But, I can’t tell you who that is. It’s against the shinigami code to tell the names of other humans.”

Perfect. So even though he now had the opportunity to chat with a supernatural being, a shinigami who was probably endlessly knowledgeable, he was going to get no answers? Light hated being kept in the dark, but just squeezed his eyes together tightly and sighed. Whatever. He’d get his answers one way or another, no matter what. He might have to work a bit harder, but then again, wouldn’t that be much more satisfying?

“This notebook….why did you drop it?” Light asked, narrowing his eyes. “You don’t look like a clumsy creature, so I won’t buy it if you try and say it was an accident.”

Ryuk chuckled loudly, his mouth opening wide as he stared Light up and down. A prickle of unease trickled down his spine, but he willed himself to ignore it. “You’re asking me why?”

“I did it because I was bored.”

“You were bored?” Light repeated, staring into the other’s ghoulish orbs. Ryuk nodded, lolling his head back.

“The shinigami realm is such a dreadful place. It’s a decaying world, with other boring saps who only want to gamble or watch over the human world. We use our Death Notes to kill humans, to claim their lifespans for our own. But sometimes, we even get bored by that. The only reason we still write names down is because we’re too afraid to die. But living up there…in the darkness, surrounded by rot and bones…sometimes it makes me wonder why even bother? I thought I could have some fun if I dropped a note, and watched another human use it.”

Light listed, slowly nodding his head. Was this god of death seriously trying to tell him that it was bored by it’s own existence? Was that even possible? He tried to paint a picture of the shinigami realm inside of his mind….and he frowned. That did sound boring, it sounded like a kind of hell. It sounded like purgatory, and Light suspected he wouldn’t really enjoy that place either. And, he could understand being bored. In a way, the shinigami realm almost sounded like Wammy’s house. Just lost souls, trying to find some meaning in a cruel and rotten world. He looked back at the Death Note still lying on his desk.

“If you don’t want the Death Note, you can just relinquish ownership and give it back to me.” Ryuk spoke again. “But, I would have to erase all of your memories of the note and of my existence.”

“No.” Light snapped, the words slipping from his lips before he had a chance to muffle them. He felt some sort of energy inside of his being, something awaken in the darkest corners of his mind. He didn’t want to think of his memories being stripped away from him. Somehow, he knew that he couldn’t go back to how everything had been just a few hours before. He couldn’t pretend that it was all fine, and that he was still the perfect little student wanting to do his best and play the game. Because this was an entirely new game. This Death Note, it was a piece that would allow him to create his own game. And, for some reason, he couldn’t give that up. Not now.

No matter how horrible this may have seemed, he needed it. He needed something to go his way, and this might have been his golden ticket. He picked up the notebook, and traced his finger over the words almost lovingly. No matter what Ryuk tried to say, this had been no accident. He had been meant to know of this power, he had been meant to use the Death Note. His mind was alive with energy, and opportunity seemed to be in every corner. He had already used the Death Note, what else could happen? In his mind, he had done the worst thing. He had killed, but not for the same reasons that criminals did. He had killed because…the power had been given to him. Kira was using this power to clean up the world, so why shouldn’t he help? No, perhaps he could become even better than Kira. Kira may have been elusive and smart, but now that Light knew how Kira killed, he could become even smarter. A smirk slowly, but surely, grew upon his lips.

There was so much he could learn, there was so much he could accomplish, he couldn’t quit now! This wasn’t something that happened every day, this was a once in a lifetime opportunity. If he gave up the Death Note, he would just be a gutless loser. This was a challenge, and Light loved to take challenges by the reins and mold them into success. He knew who he was, and he knew that he needed this. 

“No?” Ryuk parroted, grining so widely that his face could’ve split open. “Well, I’m glad to hear that. So, Light, are you going to be interesting enough?”

“I promise, it’ll be hard to be bored around me Ryuk.” Light chuckled softly, searching for the exact right way to express his own feelings to the god of death. “Because, I have plans. In truth…I’ve been bored too.”

Ryuk looked like all of his prayers had just been answered, and he stood up straight. His red eyes gleamed in the moonlight that had spilled through the ground, and his hands clenched into fists.

“Just as I thought,” He smiled, looking down at the brunette. “humans are so…interesting.”

“What’s the price for this power?” Light suddenly asked, turning the book over in his hands. “Are you going to take my soul or something?”

“Huh?” Ryuk stopped his cackling, and stuck his face much too close to Light’s. Light discreetly pushed himself away, hiding his scowl. Ryuk would need to learn a thing or two about manners. “Is that some kind of fantasy you humans have? No, I won’t take your soul.”

Any relief Light might have felt was quickly banished after he listened to Ryuk’s warning.

“But beware, any human who has used the Death Note cannot go to heaven nor hell. And when the time comes, when the excitement is gone, it will be me who writes your name inside of my notebook. That is the bond between the shinigami and the first human who touches the notebook, it is my responsibility alone to kill you.”

Light frowned, feeling his shoulder’s slump forward. But, he couldn’t let this spoil anything inside of him. He had already used the Death Note, anyway. It would have been nice to know of all of the consequences beforehand, but would that of really changed his decision? At any rate, there wasn’t anything he could do about it now. He would be nothingness one day, so at least he had that to look forward to. No, he wouldn’t chicken out now. He’d just have to keep Ryuk entertained.

“I have a feeling you might be here a while.” Light told the shinigami, stretching his arms over his head. “I have plans for the Death Note, plans that might even surpass Kira’s.”

“Oh?” Ryuk chirped, his eyes sparkling. “Lucky me!”

Light heard crackling laughter inside of his mind, it made the walls of his skull shake. *Lucky for both of us…*

“Is there anything else I should know about the Death Note?” Light asked. “I wouldn’t want any more surprises along the way, and I want to use it to it’s full potential.”

“Hmmm…there’s a lot about the Death Note, where should I start?” Ryuk pondered, tapping a sharp talon on his chin. “I guess I should probably let you know about the eye deal.”

Light uneasily looked back at the shinigami. “What eye deal?”

“Don’t look so horrified.” Ryuk muttered, and Light crossed his arms over his chest defensively. “You see my eyes right? Well, they aren’t just there for vanity purposes. Right now, i can see your name and lifespan. I can see this because shinigami always need to know a person’s name, so they’ll never have to worry that they won’t be able to see a person.”

“You can see names..?” Light asked weakly, suddenly remembering B’s. The other’s red orbs looked hauntingly similar to Ryuk’s, now that he had looked closer. Had B made an eye deal? Did he have a Death Note? Suddenly, everything the other had told Light suddenly made perfect sense. All of the forgotten conversations came rushing back to him, and he felt as if he had just been struck with a sword.

“I can give you the eyes, for half of your remaining life span.” Ryuk told him, chuckling. “Then, you could kill whoever you wanted to.”

“No, I’m not giving up half of my life.” Light shook his head, eyeing the demon. “That’s crazy, I want to live a long life. The deal is out of the question.”

Ryuk just lazily shrugged. “Eh, just thought I‘d mention it to you. The option is always there, if you want it.”

“I won’t.” Light sniffed, because that would just be committing suicide. He didn’t need eyes to find names, anyway. That was a sucker’s deal, and Light didn’t plan on dying any time soon. No, no he had goals. He had something to accomplish now, he had a new mission. The world would need him alive for a long time. He wasn’t about to do anything foolish. He had to be smart about this.

“But…I have a friend here.” Light started awkwardly, wondering if the shinigami would just avoid this question as well. “He has red eyes, like yours, and he always said that he could see names. Did…he make some kind of deal? His name is B, well I guess his real name is Beyond Birthday.”

Ryuk’s eyes widened, and Light thought for a moment that he was going to go ballistic. He suddenly flew off of the bed, and circled the room wildly, making Light clutch his arm rests tighter. “No way!” Ryuk gasped, letting out a howl of laughter. “You’re telling me you know THE Beyond Birthday? Oh, this really is too good to be true.”

“Yes, he lives here.” Light told the other, watching him with bated breath. Obviously, there was something special about B. And obviously Ryuk knew what that was. The question now, is if the demon would be tight-lipped about it. “Does he have a Death Note too?”

“Heh, no.” Ryuk wiped at his eyes, looking towards the door. “One of the other shinigami’s is his father. I don’t know much about THAT whole mess, because the king basically swept it under the rug. He must’ve gotten the eyes for free, hyuk hyuk.”

Light felt his eyes widen for the umpteenth time that night, and slowly let this information seep into his skull. “His father…is a death god?” He asked, dryly. Holy shit. Light wouldn’t of believed it if he didn’t have an actual death god standing right in front of him but….what reason would Ryuk have to lie? All of the times B had told A about his numbers changing…he had known Light’s birth name…it all seemed to be too much. Light half-wished that he had paid more attention in his religious study class. He would have never expected that the world was controlled by these things, yet here he was. That meant that there was so much more out…maybe other world’s, other dimensions….Light felt faint, and looked back at the Death Note. This book was more powerful than he had ever imagined. 

“Is that even possible?” Light asked, still partly hoping that the shinigami would laugh and assure him he was kidding. But Ryuk just nodded.

“It’s not supposed to happen.” Ryuk told the brunette. “Pardon my french…that’s still an expression you human’s use, right? Well, anyway, shinigami are forbidden from mating with humans. The whole reason that rule was put into place was because of ol’ Armonia Justin Beyondormason.”

“Beyondormason?” Light repeated, shaking his bangs away from his eyes. “That’s…his father, right?”

“Yep.” Ryuk popped his lips. “He’s the king’s right hand man, so obviously he got away scott free.” Ryuk rolled his red eyes, a sneer growing on his face. “Whatever. If I had been that irresponsible, I would’ve been turned into sand. Since the Death Note can’t kill a baby, Beyond was allowed to live. I guess if he’s still alive, that means the king and Justin must’ve forgotten about him hyuk hyuk. Sometimes us shinigami would look into the portal to watch over him. We were waiting to see if he’d…you know-“ Ryuk then made a slicing motion across his neck, and Light shuddered.

“You think he’ll become a killer?”

“I’d be surprised if he didn’t.” Ryuk scoffed. “He has the shinigami blood running through his veins. Our entire purpose is to kill. Has he killed anyone around here?"

“Not to my knowledge…” Light lowly muttered, but still felt the beating of his heart begin to race once again. Did Ryuk seriously just tell him that Beyond was a ticking time bomb? Oh no, this was not good. He had always thought that B’s fascination with slasher films and gory photos had just been a phase but it was actually just is natural thirst for violence. This just gave Light another reason to get the hell out of dodge. Would B actually become a killer? He had seemed…different after A’s death. 

“Hm, if he has the eyes that won’t be good for you.” Ryuk suddenly mused, and Light snapped his head up.

“Why…not?” He whispered, trying to keep his voice steady.

“Any human that has a Death Note…their lifespan goes away.” Ryuk told him, waving his hand above his head. “Poof! I mean, right now I can see your lifespan. But human’s with shinigami eyes, they only need to know the name of their victim. Just like shinigami can’t see other shinigami lifespans, it’s the same for humans.”

Oh. Well, that was colossally bad.

“You’re telling me he’ll just see my name?” Light murmured, draped filling him. “My lifespan…will be gone?”

“Hyuk, hyuk…yeah, that might mess everything up for you huh?” Ryuk chuckled, his eyes darting towards the door. “You see him everyday?”

“Yes.” Light snapped, running his hand through his hair. “Does B…know anything about the Death Note? About shinigami?”

“Nope.” Ryuk shook his head. “No one on earth knows about the Death Note…save for you and Kira I guess.”

Light rolled his shoulders, laying his head back to stare forlornly at the ceiling. “He’ll know something’s wrong though.” He murmured, hearing the anxiety seep into his voice. This was a school of genii, and B was incredibly smart, if he saw that Light’s lifespan was just gone….He would probably make fuss, and Light couldn’t have anyone be alerted that there was anything wrong with him. Kira’s powers were a secret for now, but if he wasn’t careful, then he would be caught. And that wasn’t an option. 

There was only one thing he could do. He wasn’t going to give up the Death Note, and he could ’t allow B to see him.

He’d have to leave, tonight. 

He quickly strode across the room, flinging open his closet. He ignored the chilled sensation that settled upon him as he looked among the empty hangers, and pulled out his book bag. He’d have to be sick about his. Everyone went to bed at around elven, and Roger usually retired at midnight. Sometimes Matt and Mello would stay up until dawn, but that was usually to just play video games and lounge about in their room. If he was quick, and quiet, he could escape and no one would ever know until morning-

“What are you going?” Ryuk inquired, as Light quickly started shoving some sweaters into his bag. He’d have to pack relatively light, and he grabbed a pair of jeans and a pair of khaki’s. 

“I’ll have to leave tonight.” Light muttered, folding a few pairs of boxers. “B can’t see me, and I was going to leave for Japan in a few weeks anyway.”

“Oh!” Ryuk clapped his hands together. “How are you gonna pull this off?”

“I have my ways.” Light sniffed, pulling open his top drawer and pulling out a box that was hidden under some magazines and socks. He had had a class that specialized in making fake IDs, since everyone at Wammy’s could never have anything with their alias or real name. He had made a few fake passports, a fake social security number, a fake birth certificate, and a fake drivers license. All of them said he was twenty one, which wasn’t exactly a stretch. He could look twenty one, if he carried himself the right way.

He then pulled out another box, that had about one thousand five hundred pounds that he had been saving for an emergency like this. He also had a bank account, and so he grabbed his debit card. Light had been saving up money for the last few years, in case he ever did have to make a fake escape. It was always good to be prepared, and Light knew that he would leave Wammy’s eventually. 

He had invested in a few stocks that had paid off, and the cash had come from tutoring the other students and christmas money. He’d have to get the currency exchanged once he landed in Japan, but he’d worry about that later. L would know that he had left in the morning, but that was fine. He wouldn’t know exactly why Light had left, and if he became suspicious, Light would tell him it was because A’s death had affected him. Light had been wanting to go to Japan, anyway, and now was his perfect opportunity. This way, he would be closer to Kira as well.

Because he would find Kira, no matter what.

He stood over to his computer, quickly finding a flight that was scheduled to leave at two. It was pretty late, and he’d probably have to steal one of Quillish’s cars to get to the airport, but he didn’t care. He would make it. His blood rushed through his ears, and his hands shook as he confirmed the flight. He stared at the screen, before his face stretched into a wide grin. He was actually doing it. He was leaving Wammy’s, and starting his real life.

“Now, all we have to do is wait.” Light told Ryuk. He picked up the Death Note, looked at his book bag, and decided that it wouldn’t do to have anyone see what he was carrying. Even if they didn’t know what it was, he couldn’t let anyone see it. Ever.

He walked over to his bookcase, and selected a rather fat book. Grimm’s fairytales. This almost was like a fairy tale.

Picking up some scissors, he quickly cut a small box inside of the pages. The edges of the paper were still intact, but now there was a big enough space to fit the Death Note in. He set it down in the small cavern lightly, closing the book with a snap.

“Hiding the Death Note?” Ryuk questioned, as he placed the book in his bag under a few articles of clothes. He’d have to remember to bring his toothbrush. 

“I don’t want anyone at the airport seeing what I have.” Light answered, and Ryuk startled cackling madly.

“That’s quite clever.”

And Light couldn’t help it, he began laughing too. 

-

Light softly shut his door behind him, his book bag heavy against his shoulder. He looked around the dark hallway, and listened for any kind of noise. But the house was as still as death, and the only thing he could hear was the sound of his own soft breathing. He smiled to himself, and began to lightly walk down the hall. The floors were very creaky, but since he had snuck out with L a few times before to go out into the forest at night, he knew which places to avoid. 

He blinked his eyes furiously, trailing his hand over the peeling wallpaper. The hallway had no lamps, and the moon was hidden behind the clouds tonight. He felt as if he was walking through a tunnel to some kind of underground cave. He could barely see in front of himself, and hoped he wouldn’t fall down the stairs.

“Sure is dark in here.” Ryuk suddenly cackled in his ear, making the brunette temporarily forget himself. He felt his foot snag on a loose corner of a rug, and he stumbled into the wall. His hand ached as he steadied himself against the surface, but no matter how quiet he had tried to be, he knew that his almost fall had made noise. 

He turned his head to glare at the shinigami, even though Ryuk couldn’t see him. *Please, tell me no one heard that-*

But of course, luck had decided to abandon him in this very moment. A door to his right suddenly opened wide, the door to B and Near’s room. Light gulped, but couldn’t move. He couldn’t even turn around. He prayed with all of his might that it was Near, and that he wouldn’t ask any questions.

“Light?” Fuck. 

“Hey.” Light murmured to the other, still not turning around. Maybe B wouldn’t be able to see that he had no lifespan if he wasn’t able to see his face.

“Light….are you leaving?” B hotly whispered, and Light felt his insides shrivel. He inhaled sharply, as as not to punch a hole right through the wall. Of course the one person he had been trying to get away from would spot him on his way out.

“I’m going for a walk.”

“Don’t lie.” B snarled, and Light felt his hand clamp down on his shoulder. He hoped and prayed that tonight would not be the night that B discovered his homicidal tendencies. 

“Okay, I am.” Light whispered back, rolling his eyes in the dark. “Please, don’t stop me. I’ve already made up my mind.”

“You can’t leave!” B whined, and Light almost clamped his hand over the other’s mouth. He really didn’t need everyone and their mother’s knowing what he was trying to do. He might as well of just walked out of the house at dinner time at this rate. 

“First A, and now you? You are not going to leave me too!” B hissed, and Light sighed. So B wasn’t going to make this easy. Perfect. Why was he always surrounded by half-wits? He didn’t need this! He was on a mission!

“I’ll be so bored without you!” And then, to his horror, B walked around to glare at him. Light felt his heart drop as he heard a gasp. Well this was just swell. Could he manage to knock B out? No, that would just be more suspicious.

“Why did your numbers disappear?” Fuck, fuck, FUCK! Light tried to concentrate on his breathing, because he needed to stay calm. He couldn’t loose it. He had to play dumb.

“What are you talking about B?” Light let out a small chuckle. “I don’t know what you mean.”

“I know you don’t believe me, but I swear I can only see your name! You used to have numbers, but they aren’t there anymore…” B trailed off, his voice filling with fear. “Oh my God, are you going to kill yourself?”

Light wanted to slap himself in the face. What? “No!” He scowled. 

“You are!” B gasped. “That’s exactly how A looked when I found him! His numbers were gone too, and…”

“I’m not going to kill myself!” Light whispered, hearing the anger inside of his own voice. “Stop spouting nonsense and go away! You’re going to wake everyone up!”

“I’m not letting you kill yourself!” B announced, and Light felt a hand seize his arm. His face grew hot and Light cursed everything. “Light, you can’t kill yourself!”

“B, I swear on my parent’s graves I am not going to kill myself.”

“Then where are you going?”

“….To Japan.”

“That’s a lie, you told me you were going to Japan next week.”

Light bit his cheek, so hard that he felt the flesh crumble under his teeth. “I decided to go earlier.” He spat through gritted teeth. “I don’t like living here anymore, and my birthday is tomorrow anyway! Just let me go B, please…”

“Nope!” B snapped, and the hand on Light’s arm tightened. “Because if you aren’t going to kill yourself, then the lack of numbers must mean that you’re going to die. And if you stay here…”

“I’m not staying here.” Light told him, narrowing his eyes. “Let me go, B. Or else I’ll make you, and I really don’t want to do that…”

“Try it, and see how that works out for you.” B growled. “I’m not letting you leave no matter what!”

“Oooh, so this is Beyond.” Ryuk unhelpfully giggled from behind him. “He’s quite the little fireball. I guess he does have the shinigami eyes. Hyuk, hyuk, he thinks you’re gonna die! What a riot.”

*I’m glad this is amusing to you, you oversized beetle.* Light thought angrily, wanting nothing more than to slap the demon upside the head. This was all Ryuk’s fault anyway. Light felt his hands tremble, and shoved them into the pockets of his sweatpants. At this rate, he would never be able to leave! And he couldn’t wait any longer, he had already decided on what to do. He had already bought a plane ticket, and if B continued to be obstinate, then he was going to miss his flight! No, no this wasn’t good. 

Light swallow thickly, feeling perspiration collect in his hairline. He was going to have to tell B some half-truth about what he was going to do. He had to, otherwise the other would never let him leave.

“B.” Light hissed, clenching his teeth together. “Come in my room, and then I’ll tell you why I’m leaving.”

“Wha-“ Light ripped his arm out of B’s grasp and stalked back to his room, hearing soft footsteps coming up behind him. He hated everyone. Why, oh why did everything always have to happen to him?

He shut the door softly behind B, and the other paced to the middle of the room. The two glared at each other, and B crossed his arms over his chest. “Okay, spill.”

Light sighed, and earned back against the door. “I’m going to find Kira.”

B’s red eyes widened, and he looked as if he had just seen a bunch of dancing eleven appear in front of him. He opened and closed his mouth, before his eyes narrowed into tiny red slits. “That’s insane Light. You’ll get yourself killed!”

“Please.” Light scoffed, trying to crush the resentment that was threatening to choke him. He hated being underestimated, who did B think he was? He couldn’t even begin to fathom how powerful Light was. What an idiot. “I won’t get myself killed.”

“You won’t even be able to find him.” B argued. “That’s why your numbers disappeared, because Kira is going to kill you!”

“I won’t die.” Light sneered. Ryuk had already told him that he was now the only one that was going to kill Light. Playing dumb was so hard sometimes. Anyway, if Kira tried to kill him than he could just as easily kill Kira. Kira wouldn’t even know that they had been found by him until it was too late. God, why did no one understand how smart he was? This was just insulting. “I don’t need your protection B, I’ll be fine.”

“Well, how do you plan on finding him?” B countered. “There’s already a manhunt for Kira going on, and no one has had any luck. I get wanting to outsmart L-“

“I need to leave B, I’m going to miss my flight.”

“Then let me go with you.” B said, and Light felt his veins fill with ice. Oh my God, this wasn’t happening.

“That’s not possible.”

“Why not?” B spit. “Fuck you Light, you think I’m going to hold you up? God, why does everyone think I’m some kind of buffoon? If you’re catching Kira, then I want to help.”

Light shook his head. “No.”

“Yes!” The other insisted. He needed to keep this plan hidden, and B would just be a nuisance. He didn’t want to deal with his sulking, or outbursts. And if B managed to find the Death Note, it would be all over. He’d blab to L and Light would be done for. No, this was HIS mission. He didn’t need to babysit B.

“Look B, this is important. Like really important.”

“What is?” B inquired, cocking his head. “Who lit a fire under your ass? Why can’t you just wait to go to Japan in a few weeks?”

Light internally groaned. “Because…I know secret information that could lead to the capture of Kira.”

B’s eyes fill with light, and he takes a step froward. “I don’t like secrets, tell me.” He demands.

Light bared his teeth. “I don’t have time to explain it!”

“You aren’t going anywhere until I know what you’re up to!”

“For the love of-“ Ryuk growls from behind him, and suddenly flew over behind B. Light watched in horror as the shinigami took out his notebook and touched it to B’s shoulder. What in the very fuck? “There, now just tell him what you know.“

Light can see the way that B freezes as he turns around, ands Light watches his muscles stiffen as he takes in the demon. Oh God no. Light quickly rushes forward and clamps his hand around B’s mouth. “Don’t scream, he’s harmless.” Light sighs. Great, what was the shinigami thinking? Light has now changed his opinion on Ryuk. He isn’t some wise god, he’s just an idiot. He’ll have to tell Ryuk to never do that again. He can’t suddenly have the people around him see a demon! Oh, now what is he going to do?

“I’m not harmless!” Ryuk snaps, his eyes widening in offense. “I’m a god of death. You better show me some respect.” B makes a muffled yelp.

“Don’t scream.” Light repeats, slowly lowering his hand. “It’s all right.” Maybe he can convince B that he’s dreaming? B whirls around, and clutches his hand tightly.

“Light, there’s a fucking monster in your room.”

“I know.” Light rolls his eyes, unable to help himself. “He’s a shinigami named Ryuk.”

“What is this?” B shakily demands, backing up into a corner. “Are you going to sacrifice my soul or something?”

“Geez, you humans and your souls.” Ryuk gaffs. “I’m here for Light, not you. Though you are kind of famous from where I come from.”

“Wha-“ B looks around wildly. “Where you come from? Light, what the hell is going on?”

“You’re one of my friend's kids.” Ryuk babbles, and Light narrows his eyes. This isn’t playtime! He can hear his watch ticking loudly. “Well, I actually kind of hate your dad, but I know who you are. Beyond Birthday.”

“H-how do you know my name?” B stutters, and Ryuk lolls a blue tongue out of the corner of his mouth. “I didn’t know my parents…what is this?”

“Ryuk, please shut up.” Light orders, running a hand through his hair. “B, just listen-“

“Holy shit, are you some kind of satanist Light?” B gasps. “Are you in some kind of black magic cult?”

“No! I-“

“I always knew you’d be the one to loose it! And now you have the devil haunting you-“

“Just shut up!” Light commands loudly, before lowering his voice. No, he can’t loose himself too. But now he has no other choice! Fucking Ryuk, now he’ll have to explain the Death Note! He…he might just have to have B die after this too! Light frowns, he doesn’t want to kill his friend.

But…if it comes to that.

“He’s a shinigami.” Light finally reveals. “He’s haunting me now, and no I’m not in a cult and no I’m not a devil worshiper! It’s because…I picked up his Death Note.”

“Death WHAT?” B narrows his eyes. “Am I dreaming?”

“Yes.” Light says quickly, hoping that B will be dull enough to buy that. But he just gives Light the middle finger.

“No, I’m not dreaming.” He mutters to himself, scowling. “Am I hallucinating? Have I gone mad?”

“Nope, Light-o is telling the truth.” Ryuk pipes up. “He owns my Death Note, so now I have to follow him around until he dies or gives up ownership.”

A thick fog of quiet suddenly envelops the room. Light thinks that maybe B has simply died of fright. But, then, the other starts giggling. It’s a wild sound, that makes Light’s head shake.

“Oh boy, you got me Light.” B chortles, doubling over and holding his sides. “A god of death, good one! Is this some kind of costume?”

“This ain’t a costume!” Ryuk huffs, fluffing out his wings. “You better believe in me, you little brat. You’re half-shinigami too ya know.”

B’s laughter ceases, and Light feels his stomach twist into knots. Now is NOT the time for revelations. Oh Jesus, what will it take for B to go away…?

“My father…is a demon?” B asked, in a hushed whisper.

“Shinigami.” Ryuk corrects, grumbling. “But, yes. Why do you think you have all-seeing eyes?”

“Eyes…” B trails off, drawing a hand up to his mouth. “My eyes…holy shit.” He murmurs, his eyes flitting from between Light and Ryuk. Light just massages his temples, and shortly paces around the room while B mumbles to himself. He frowns, looking down at his watch. It’s already half-past midnight! He needs to go, now!

“So, I’m half death god?” B pipes up again. “Does that mean I have powers?”

“Heh, I don’t know.” Ryuk drawls. “You already have the eyes, and you probably have a thirst of death. All shinigami do.”

“Is that why I like horror movies? Oh shit, does that mean I’ll end up becoming a killer or something?”

“Hello?” Light snaps, waving his hand around. “This isn’t time for socialization. My flight is leaving soon, and-“

“But I still don’t get why you’re going.” B argues. “Can’t you just tell me?”

“Because, I know how Kira kills.” Light whispers in a hushed voice, feeling the blood leave his face. “And…and I’ll kill you if you tell anyone this…I have the power too.”

“Holy shit!” B’s mouth fell open. “You’re lying.”

“You can think that.” Light rolled his eyes, because he didn’t care about convincing B of anything. It’d be better if he didn’t know. “But that’s why I don’t have a lifespan, Ryuk is the only one who can kill me.”

“Huh?” B looked over to Ryuk, who just gave him a cheeky wave. “Does…does that mean if I strangled you right now, you still wouldn’t die?”

“He’d get hurt, but he wouldn’t die.” Ryuk butted in, laughing. “No, his life is mine.”

“That’s so…..awesome!” B gasped, looking over at Light as if he was some kind of god. “You’re immortal now.”

“I guess.” Light shrugged, although the thought made his chest grow warm. He really was invincible now, huh? He fought off his smirk, he liked being more powerful than others. “But I have to go.”

But as he started towards the door, B flung his hand out to hold onto the door handle. Light inwardly groaned, locking his amber eyes onto B’s red ones. “I’m coming with.”

Light shook his head. “No, B-“

“I’m coming with, or I’m telling Roger.” B interrupted, his red eyes seemingly starting to glow. “This is big Light, like huge! You literally have a god of death following you around, and you’re a fool if you think I’m just gonna sit back and let you have all of the fun.”

“You aren’t packed.” Light rolled his eyes, trying to come up with any excuse possible. “And…and you don’t have a plane ticket, and I really need to do this by myself-“

“Like L.” B interrupted, staring at him coldly. “What, you think you’re better than the rest of us too? You’re going to leave me out again? I won’t have it! I’ll tell Roger, and L that you have some kind of monster-“

“Fine!” Light hissed, throwing his hands up. His heart was thumping loudly and he suddenly felt exhausted. He didn’t have time for any arguments, and he knew how stubborn B could be. He didn’t want to incur his wrath, especially when he was so close to getting away. “But you can’t tell anyone about this, ever. We’ll have to be discreet, and-“

“I won’t.” B promised, his eyes suddenly filling with sincerity as he pulled Light in for a hug. The brunette gasped, and stiffened. He didn’t pull away, but he didn’t like their new positions at all. He hated unwanted physical touch, and he didn’t know why B thought he had the right to clutch onto him. He mouth felt dry.

“I’ll keep your secret.” B whispered. “I don’t care about Kira or catching him…but this is exciting. I need something to live for, something to work towards. If I can help you with this mission, then I’ll behave. I swear. Ever since A…well, you can’t leave me here in this place. Please Light, you won’t even realize I’m here.”

Light rolled his eyes, but patted the other on the back as he pulled away. “Fine, just hurry up. And please be quiet.” He sighed to himself as B dashed out the door, and for a moment he thought he should just make a run for it.

Oh, but that would be no good. B would just tattle, and under no circumstances could L find out about this. Plus, B had promised to behave. If he became a danger, Light could just kill him. It’d be foolish to do so now, while he was still at Wammy’s house and surrounded by almost-detectives. No, for now, he would let B tag along.

And maybe he could even be useful. B was as smart as Light, and if he decided to, he could be quite cunning. He did have the eyes, and even though Light would never make any kind of deal that would take away half of his life, they might be useful in the future. He knew B didn’t have the strongest moral code, and Light hadn’t of really explained what the Death Note was. He knew B, and he was confident he could control him given the right motivation.

No, it would be nice to have a partner. Light knew what B was capable of, and in some ways he was like Ryuk. B liked entertainment, and he liked schemes. If he saw this as an opportunity for himself, he wouldn’t go to L. No, as long as there was something in it for the dark-haired boy, he wouldn’t betray him. Light would somehow have to sweeten the deal, to explain the Death Note in a way that Beyond would understand. He could be useful, if Light played his cards right. 

-

Beyond smirked as he settled into the seat next to Light. He had bullied his way to the window seat, and excitedly looked out of the window. His surroundings were dark, but still. He had never flown before! The excitement of traveling, coupled with all of the knowledge he had just learned, made his nerves feel on fire. He felt more alive than he ever had, and he couldn’t keep the wide grin off of his face.

He had quickly bought a ticket online for the same flight as Light, because apparently this was a time when no one wanted to travel. He had some money saved up from…err scams. And it wasn’t as if he didn’t have fake passports and shit too, Light was just so uptight. Plus, luckily for the brunette, B knew how to hot-wire a car. he really didn’t understand why Light was being so quiet, he was a valuable asset! He knew Light thought he would ruin his whole grand plan or whatever, but B wasn’t interested in making his new exciting life crash into ruins. 

No, it didn’t take a genius to figure out what Light was planning. On the way, Ryuk had explained to him that what Light now possessed was a killer notebook. Beyond wouldn’t of believed it, but a shinigami did tell him this information. He had never believed in demons before either, but. He was slowly coming to terms with the whole new world that had just been out of the corner of his eye.

And it was INCREDIBLE! It was exciting, and it was a secret. Beyond loved being in on secrets, he felt as if he was on a secret mission. He clenched his hands together, trying not to bounce up and down in his seat. If Light was going to use the Death Note to outsmart or defeat Kira, Beyond could care less. It actually might be kind of funny if L was outsmarted by his successor. Heh, that’d teach that sugar freak. Beyond chuckled to himself, he couldn’t wait to blow L’s case wide open. He was going to help Light, no matter what it took. It wasn’t every day that one had access to supernatural powers, after all. He’d be an idiot to take the high road and tell Light that ‘killing was wrong.’

Sure, maybe that’s how he should have felt. But after everything he had seen at Wammy’s, and L’s black and white attitude towards criminals, he had decided a long time ago that he wanted his thoughts to be his own. He didn’t want any of his beliefs and morals to be warped by that twisted institution. Look at how well that had worked out for them all of these years. No, following L was like following a crazed cult leader. It would get you no where, and only bring you more hurt. He would get no satisfaction if he stayed at Wammy’s and continued to be a pawn in their twisted chess game. He wasn’t some weak pet who would fall at L’s feet and eat up his orders. Beyond Birthday was his own man, who made his own decisions.

And it felt so nice, for once in his life, to do something illicit. To be involved in a scheme, a crime that would make L bitch and moan and rip his hair out in frustration. It felt so right to do something so wrong. It felt as if this was exactly the right choice to make, and Beyond had always followed his gut. And he couldn’t leave this alone, no. He still had tons of questions.

A would want this for him. He knew that, and grew somber. A wouldn’t want B to waste his life away weeping over what had happened. He wouldn’t want B to give up. He’d want Beyond to win. He’d want him to take charge, and mold his life into something great. L may have taken A away, but he wouldn’t take B too. He wouldn’t allow himself to rot away in that dusty old orphanage for any longer. Now, he’d never have to listen to Roger’s whining again or clean another fucking basement filled with cobwebs and dirt. No, now he was the top dog. He was a part of something important! He almost started chuckling, and glanced over to Light. 

The brunettes eyes were closed, and he looked like he was on the verge of sleep. B frowned, he wasn’t going to sit on an eleven hour flight in boredom! He studied the other, and was suddenly stuck by how much he looked like A. Light’s hair was tucked into a beanie, but the strands that fell out were almost the same color as his deceased lover. His eyes, though soft brown, still sparkled in the same way that A’s used to. Coupled with the fact that he was wearing a pair of glasses, as a disguise, B could almost see A if he squinted hard enough. He smiled. 

“Do you think Roger’s gonna shit himself in the morning?” B questioned, as Light’s eye cracked open. His mouth formed into a smirk, but he kept the rest of his features schooled.

“Probably.” Light said, amusement present in his tone. “L will be notified…but I’ll just say I left because I was tired of that place. I’m gonna be eighteen tomorrow, so. They can’t really control me any longer.”

“Me either.” Beyond puffed his chest out, grinning wickedly. That thought was so freeing, so exhilarating. He finally had the basic pleasure of controlling his own life. It was an amazing feeling, and he felt capable of anything. “Roger can go suck a dick, I’m never going back there.”

“You’re still seventeen though.” Light pointed out, but B just shrugged. 

“Only until May.” He defended. “And my ID says I’m twenty-five, so whatever.”

Light just shook his head. “I can’t believe security fell for that. You really don’t look twenty-five.”

“Yes I do.” Beyond said, mock indignation in his voice. He nudged Light’s shoulder playfully. “Especially with this fedora. I look dignified.”

“The fedora makes you look like Michael Jackson.” Light scoffed. “Now be quiet. I’m tired.”

“I’m bored though.” Beyond whined, shaking Light gently. “Can’t you tell me more about your ‘grand plan’?”

“Not in public.” Light grumbled. “I’ll tell you when we get to Japan.”

“What’s it like there?” Beyond wondered. He had never been outside of England, outside of Wammy’s ouse for that matter. He hoped Japan was nice. He had seen pictures, and anime. Japan always looked nice from the movies and pictures he had seen. Plus, they had sushi! Sushi was a rare treat at Wammy’s, but B loved the food. It was so much better than Roger’s stew, yuck. He smiled, knowing that he’d never have that horrendous food sit on his tastebuds ever again.

“Nice.” Light admitted, lowly. “It always felt like home to me. The sights and surroundings are much prettier there. Japan is better than England, in my opinion.”

“I hope it is.” Beyond sighed, stretching languidly. “I wanna live in a cool place, for once. We’re going to Tokyo, right? Can we visit the Tokyo Tower?”

“We’re going there to find Kira.” Light rolled his eyes. “Don’t be such a tourist, B.”

“I’ll be a tourist all I damn please.” Beyond retorted childishly. “And no more of that ‘B’ shit. It’s Beyond Birthday now.”

Light raised his eyebrows, and looked over at the other curiously. “Really?”

“Yeah. It’s a kick ass name. I’m not letting Wammy’s steal that from me.” Beyond scowled. “I don’t want anything that place has given me.”

“Fair enough.” Light rolled his shoulders, settling into his seat deeper. “I’d change me name back, but I quite like Light.”

“Isn’t it pronounced ‘Raito’ in Japan?” Beyond wondered, ands Light just snorted.

“You’re pronunciation is all wrong.” He told the other. “You’re gonna have to learn to speak Japanese without that accent.”

“I do not have an accent!” Beyond proclaimed. “This is just my voice.”

“Hm, whatever you say.” Light replied cheekily. 

“Aw Raito, you’re so kawaii!” Beyond drawled, raising his voice high. He could feel Light shudder from beside him.

“Never say that word again.” He frowned. “Now read one of those novels I brought, or something. I’m tired.”

“You brought novels?” Beyond snickered. 

“Of course I did, it’s an eleven hour flight.” Light snorted, reaching into his bag. “Here, you can read ‘How To Kill a Mockingbird'.”

“Gross.” Beyond wrinkled his nose. “Roger tried to make me read that, no way! It gave me trauma.”

“A book gave you trauma?” Light widened his eyes. 

“A lot of things gave me trauma.” Beyond rolled his eyes. “Wammy’s is just special like that.”

Light’s eyes softened for a second, before he closed them yet again. “Okay, then you go to sleep.”

“Nah, don’t want to.” A beat of silence passed between the two, and then a thought came to him. “Hey, how are you gonna handle L?”

“How do you mean?” Light inquired, not opening his eyes. But his jaw clenched, so Beyond knew that Light knew what he was getting at.

“What if he finds out about your…erm, ‘plan’?” He used air quotes, because Light didn’t like it when he spoke of the matter in a public place. Light let out a soft breath of air.

“He won’t.”

Beyond almost scoffed, surely Light wasn’t that naive? “L has a way of finding out anything. When he really wants to, anyway. He’s gonna do everything in his power to find Kira, he’s never lost a case. His pride won’t allow him to.”

“No notebook, no evidence.” Light whispered. “You underestimate me.”

Beyond felt his eyebrow raise. “I’m just being realistic.” He told the other, tugging on his hoodie sleeve to try and pull a more interesting reaction from the other. “You know how that video said ‘L versus Kira’? Well, what do you think that makes you?”

“L won’t ever find out.” Light said firmly, and Beyond almost sighed out loud.

“But if he DOES, what are you gonna do?”

Light was quiet then, pretending that he had fallen asleep. But Beyond didn’t buy that. 

“If it came down to it…” He trailed off, searching the other’s tight features. “What would you do?”

“I don’t know.” Light snapped, his closed eyes squeezing together tighter. “Don’t talk about this, Beyond. It’s just morbid. I can’t allow myself to think of failure this early on in the game. Let’s cross that bridge when we near it, hm? If we even come close to it.”

Beyond knew that if he pressed the issue any further, Light would snap and they would get into a fight. And Beyond didn’t want that, especially now that the other had the power to kill him. Not that he thought Light would ever have the guts to kill someone like him, but still. They were in a crowded area too. Beyond had some idea of manners, despite what Roger had always told him, so he just sat back in his chair and hummed to himself.

He knew one day that L would find out. Hell, even if Beyond hadn’t of caught Light on his way out he would’ve figured it out eventually. L wouldn’t think that it was a coincidence that more Kira killings were happening, and especially if more of them started happening worldwide like Light had planned. They were going to Tokyo, for Christ’s sake. The same city that Kira was in. Coupled with Light so abruptly leaving Wammy’s, well. There would be connections that would start popping up that maybe others would ignore. But L wouldn’t.

He knew L. L would do whatever it took to find Kira, he would scour the ends of the earth for that killer. And he doubted that Light would want to stay hidden for long. No, the way Light had talked about this power, it was clear he wanted to be in some kind of control. Light was calm and rational, but also cocky. Even before he had come up with this idea, he had always wanted the world to recognize him for his achievements. Beyond doubted he would want to stay hidden in the shadows forever. No, if anything, this power would just make Light more full of himself. Power is the root of all corruption, as they say.

And B knew, no matter what Light would say, that he would kill him. Or if he wouldn’t, Beyond would. Light may not have wanted to think about the consequences, but they would be harsh. They would be death. Beyond was aiding and abiding, and encouraging this behavior. He was withholding knowledge, withholding evidence about one of the most dangerous weapons in history. And this case, Beyond knew, would only garner more public attention given time. It was a wound that would only grow, it would fester. And if L found out they were apart of the whole scheme, they would be sentenced to death.

Maybe Light wanted to kid himself, and think that just because he and L were ‘dating’ or whatever, that L wouldn’t harm a hair on his head. But that was a ludicrous thought. It was a thought that came from imagination land, and was not based in reality in the slightest. L would want to win, and he would want his version of ‘justice’ to be served no matter what. It had been what they were taught at Wammy’s, after all. That one must win, one must do whatever it took got solve the mystery at hand. All criminals must be stopped, and punished. There must be no leeway, no sympathy for criminals. If L was given the chance, he would destroy them. And Beyond would sooner dress up in a frilly skirt and heels then let L send him to his death! He couldn’t imagine a worst fate, and would never let that happen.

And deep down, he didn’t think that Light would let it happen either. Because Light loved to win, as much as L did. Light would protect himself, no matter the cost.

He heard the pilots voice overhead, and looked out of the window as the plane started moving. He jolted in his seat, but then relaxed. He watched as the ground grew smaller, and as they lifted high in the sky. The lights of the airport twinkled beneath them, and Beyond felt a warmness fill his chest. He knew that whatever would happen, that it would be great. He was ready for whatever would come.

-

“Mells! For the last time, wake the hell up! This is serious!”

Mello groaned as he felt himself be jostled for the millionth time, and suddenly felt the harsh thud of a pillow on his head. Sitting up hastily, he shot the red head in front of him a bleary glare. What the hell? He was exhausted, and his head was pounding. His limbs felt as if they were tied down with weights, and he blinked his eyes furiously to try and ease the fuzziness that clouded his vision. 

He could hear the birds chirping outside, and that only served to make his head ache further. His ears were ringing, and he tried to resist the urge to slap Matt in the face. He could see the rays of light flooding in through the blinds, and he knew it must be morning. But, still. Mello was not a morning person, and he hated being forcibly awoken. He had been having a nice dream about chocolate dammit! Maybe he shouldn’t have watched Willy Wonka before bed…

“What Matt?” He growled, before his mouth stretched into a loud yawn. “I’m tired.”

“Well, wake the hell up.” Matt glared, and Mello felt his veins fill with anger. He hated being bossed around, and he wanted to sink back in under his nice cocoon of blankets. The bed felt as if it was swaying underneath him.

“Why?” Mello griped, rubbing a hand over his eyes. they burned. “If Roger wants some, tell him to shove it up his-“

“Light’s gone.” What? Mello was suddenly wide awake, and he felt another throb hit the front of his head.

“…What do you mean ‘gone?’” He questioned heatedly.

“I mean he’s gone. Absent. Not here anymore. Vanished.” Matt waved his hands in the air. “So is B, and Roger’s flipping out.”

“What time is it?” Mello questioned, swinging his legs so that they dangled above the floor. “Maybe they just went on a walk?”

“It’s noon.” Matt sounded disgusted. “And no, a bunch of their belongings are gone, including like passports and stuff. And Roger looked at their bank accounts…they bought tickets to Japan.”

“What the hell?” Mello shouted, standing up and feeling a burst of light-headedness hit him. He really had to start going to bed before five am. “Are you sure?”

“Positive, he’s on the phone with Quillish right now.” Matt uttered gravely, ringing his hands together. “Apparently the Mercedes is gone too.”

“Holy shit.” Mello breathed, shaking out his blonde hair. “Those assholes really ran away?”

“I guess.” Matt grumbled. “And now Roger’s totally on the warpath. He’s talking about tightening up security, and enforcing curfews.”

“Oh hell no!” Mello hissed, beating his fists on the bed. “He can’t do that, can he? What a load of horseshit!”

“He’s like…really pissed dude.” Matt told him slowly. 

“This isn’t good.” Mello mumbled, slowly standing up to pace around the small room. His feet dragged on the worn rug beneath his feet, and he frowned. “Now everything around here is juts going to be worst! Roger will be extra strict, and I bet he’ll somehow find a way to blame this on us! What were they thinking?”

“Who knows?” Matt snorted bitterly. “But you know B. He’s just been…out of his skull since A. I bet he probably convinced Light to leave for Japan early.”

“Yeah, well, that’s B.” Mello sighed angrily, running his hands through his hair again. “But why would Light do this? It isn’t like him to be this impulsive. He always does what he’s told with a polite smile on his face, why would he go completely AWOL?”

Something was wrong with this picture, but Mello didn’t know what. Light was not the type of person to just up and run away in the middle of the night. He had JUST talked to Light yesterday afternoon, and everything had been normal. He had been his usual easy-going, self-assured self. What had changed? Something must of happened. Because Light never did anything without a reason. He even planned out what time he would brush his hair for God’s sake!

“Well, Japan is where L is right now.” Matt said, and Mello heard the flick of his lighter. “Maybe he wanted to go help him with his case, or surprise him in a ‘romantic gesture’ or whatever.”

“Light doesn’t do romantic gestures.” Mello growled, whirling around to glare at Matt. “And don’t smoke in here! Roger will just kick our asses even harder to the moon.”

“I’ll open a window then, sheesh.” Matt complained, the white stick of death hanging loosely from his lips. He brushed past Mello, and the burning smell of tobacco unit his nose. He made an over exaggerated show of hacking and coughing, even though Matt just rolled his eyes.

Secretly, he loved the bitter smell of smoke. It reminded him of Matt.

“I mean, I get it.” Matt finally huffed, blowing out a cloud of smoke. “I wish I’d of gone with them.”

“Without me?” Mello demanded, a sinking feeling in his chest.

But Matt just rolled his eyes and shot him a cheeky grin, beckoning him closer with his finger. “No, I’d take you with me. Obviously.”

Mello tried not to show his dopey smile as he trotted over to the windowsill where Matt sat, and plopped himself down on the other’s lap. He felt fingers running through his hair, and leaned in to Matt’s warm chest. He felt his heart rate go back to normal, and closed his eyes.

Matt always knew how to calm him down. He always knew what to say, and that damned smile…..if Matt asked nicely enough, Mello would kill for him. He loved the red head with every fiber of his being, and he was so grateful that he hadn’t of left him. At least he still had someone left in this hell hole. These times, when they would simply sit together while Matt slowly smoked, it was like heaven. Mello clutched onto his rosary, sending out a quick prayer of thanks to God. 

“Yeah, I know what you mean.” Mello reluctantly sighed. “This place is godawful, and after what happened with A….”

“Yep.” Matt popped his ‘p’, and Mello felt his warm breath blow over his scalp. 

“I get why B would want to leave.” Mello murmured. “I mean…if something like that happened to you…I don’t know if I would be able to survive it.”

He felt Matt’s arm slink over his waist and tighten around him. “I wouldn’t do that to you.” Matt told him softly. “Don’t worry about that Mello, we’re okay.”

“Are we?” Mello laughed, hollowly. “Is anyone here ‘okay’?”

“We’ll be graduating soon.” Matt sighed, and Mello felt more smoke waft into his nose. “We can be okay after we leave this place, maybe. We can create our own ‘okay’.”

Mello hummed. “I just want to leave this place behind.”

“We will.” Matt solemnly promised him. “One day.”

Mello just nodded, looking out of the half-opened windows. The sun was shining brightly, for once. It seemed like light and warmth never reached thiss place, anymore. “Do you think everything’s going to get worse?”

“Around here? Dunno.” Matt huffed. “I can’t imagine how it could get worse. Maybe they’ll start putting us in cages, heh.”

Mello let out a humorless laugh, and closed his eyes. Blotches of light danced in his darken vision, and suddenly his bones began to ache. It was a hollow feeling, one that spoke of nothingness yet everything. “I know why B left. But…why do you think Light did?”

“…..I guess we’d have to ask him.”

“You hesitated.” Mello told the red head, sitting up to stare at him. His green eyes were wide, and he quickly flicked them over to look outside of the window. He was frowned. “You know something?”

“I…I think Light just got sick of it all.” Matt shrugged his shoulders. “I mean, he’s the one who had to live in that room. He had to sleep five feet away from where A killed himself, that’d mess anyone up.”

“But he said that he was leaving to go to college in Japan in a week or so.” Mello argued. “What changed? He left in the middle of the night, it all seems…rushed. Like something happened, something that completely changed him. I mean, have you ever known Light to be an impulsive person?”

“No.” Matt admitted, shifting uncomfortably. “No, but I can’t think of anything. What do you think changed?”

Mello frowns to himself, desperately wishing he had a bar of chocolate right now. The treat always helps him to think better, and makes him feel more like himself. He glances around the room, only seeing wrappers.

He truly didn’t have any idea of why Light would’ve left. Maybe Matt was right, maybe A’s death had really messed him up. Mello hadn’t of thought the two were especially close, but then again A was his roommate. Mello knew how devastated he’d be if Matt died. He’d probably loose himself too, and act completely different.

Hell, he might even follow the red head. Matt was Mello’s everything, and he could hardly bear to imagine a world without his smiling face in it. Maybe Light really had been affected by the loss f the other. It wasn’t as if he’d tell Mello, anyway. Most of the kids around here need openly discussed their feelings or emotions. As Roger said, emotions made on weak and vulnerable. For the line of work they were training for, emotions would just distract them from the job. hey had to look at everything objectively, and feel nothing.

And at any rate, Mello knew that all of them wanted to leave the orphanage. Apparently Light had decided it was a life or death situation.

“I guess we could just call and ask him why he let in such a rush.” Matt spoke again, and Mello let a soft chuckle escape from his lips.

“This is Light, we’re talking about.” He rolled his eyes. “He’s not going to give us any kind of real answer. His hair could be on fire and he’d still act as if everything was fine.”

“Heh, you’re probably right.” Matt coughed, and as Mello laid his head back against the red head’s chest, he heard the steady beating of Matt’s heart. His eyes fluttered shut. “At least the coolest person I know is still here. And Light and B never wanted to play video games, anyway.”

“You know I’ll always play video games with you.” Mello teased. “As long as it’s never wii sports again, I hate the dumb bowling level.”

As Matt tried to defend his precious bowling game, Mello imagined where Light and B were right now. Probably in Japan, trying to rent out a shitty hotel. A strange sensation welled up in his chest, but he forced it away. He just concentrated on the steady thump of Matt’s heart.

He hoped they would be okay. He didn’t know why, but something wasn’t right.

-

“Don’t you wanna go down to the pool?” Beyond whined into Light’s ear, for the millionth time demanding something of him. Light tightly closed his eyes and then counted to thirty.

“You can go to the pool Beyond.” He responded as evenly as he could, keeping the anger just on the edges of his voice. “I’m busy.”

“You’ve been busy for the last five hours!” Beyond retorted, flopping down on the bed opposite of him. “How many people do you have to kill?”

“Enough.” Light answered, scanning over the mugshots on his computer screen.

As soon as they had landed in Japan, before even finding a hotel Light had brought a laptop. Under a fake name with yen, of course. He was currently hacked into the NPA, which was so painfully easy to break into Light almost laughed, and the FBI. Ryuk had told him a few more details of the Death Note that he had had to test out. 

For example, Light had learned that if you tore of a scrap of the Death Note, it would still work the same as a full page. You could make the details as creative as you liked, as long as it was still physically capable for that person to do so. There were also other ways the Death Note could kill, besides a heart attack. Ryuk had apparently found this out when he had killed a man in a particularly creative way, because he ‘didn’t like his face’.

But Light didn’t want his first victim to be an outlier. He couldn’t have anything out of the ordinary, for now. He had to kill off enough criminals in other parts of the world to make this look as if it was Kira’s next step. He had started with North American criminals, before moving over to Europe and Asia. He had currently written about a hundred and twenty-five names, exactly, and his hand was cramping.

But every time he wrote a name in the Death Note, the strangest sensation would run through him. It was exhilarating, and fierce. It filled his heart with a hot liquid and made his head feel light. Sometimes his vision would even blur with stars. Light had decided that he hadn’t of made a mistake, that this really was what he had been meant to do. It was fate that had led him to the notebook, and his mission was already going spectacularly. 

Well, besides Beyond nagging him every two minutes. Light closed his eyes and breathed out a sigh of annoyance. This is why he had wanted to come alone. He wasn’t there for entertainment, he had a purpose. When Light was assigned a task, he would work tirelessly until it was complete. There was no foolishness, no distractions aloud. If you were going to do something half-assed, what was the point of even doing it?

“The mini fridge ran out of jam.” Beyond prodded again, and Light looked up with narrowed eyes.

“I saw a supermarket across the street, go get some more.”

“But I don’t have any yen.”

“I thought you had twenty four thousand left?”

“Yeah, but I’m saving that for emergencies. Or if I see a really cool T-shirt.”

“Beyond, do you remember what you told me?” Light snapped, clenching his pencil in between his hand with such a force for a moment he was worried it would snap. “You promised to behave yourself, and not get in my way. I’m not here for a vacation, I’m on-“

“A mission, yeah I know.” Beyond said sourly, and Light just felt his eyes harden. He hated being interrupted. “But I’m bored! Can I write some names down?”

“No.” Light snapped, because the Death Note was his. No one else should be allowed to touch it, because it was his responsibility dammit! “You’d manage to mess it up.”

“How?” Beyond scowled. “It’s not exactly rocket science. I learned how to write names in kindergarten!”

“It’s mine.” Light told him firmly. Beyond just rolled his eyes.

“Whatever.” He sulked. “Anyone can write a few silly names down, Ryuk told me I have the power to kill!”

Light just stared back at the other boy, for two reasons. One, it wasn’t a ‘few silly names’. They were names of heinous criminals, who were finally getting their comeuppance. He was doing much, much more than just simply writing. And he certainly didn’t need Beyond entertaining the fact that he could become a murderer! That was just wrong and immoral to think, and he didn’t need B becoming any more of a violent fiend. Because then the blood would be on his hands, and he refused to live with a serial killer.

“Ryuk, stop giving Beyond ideas.” Light told the shinigami, who was sitting next to him on the bed and scarfing down apples. Once they had gotten to their hotel room, there had been a basket of fruit on the bedside table. Ryuk had then confessed his love for apples, and demolished all of the fruit in five seconds flat. Now, unfortunately, this meant that Ryuk was open about his obsession, and now he would constantly beg Light for more of the fruit. Light really hated feeling like a babysitter, and he wished Ryuk and Beyond could stay out of his way and keep each other company,

“I’m just relaying knowledge.” Ryuk defended, smacking his blue lips. “Shinigami are born to kill, so rationally one would assume that a half-shinigami hybrid-“

“Beyond is not going to become a murderer.” Light retorted flatly. “I’m not going to live with Jeffrey Dahmer Junior.”

“Dahmer was one of the lamest serial killers, don’t compare me to him!” Beyond snapped, like it mattered. “If I was going to be a serial killer, I’d be a totally elusive and badass one like jack the ripper!”

“Okay Beyond.” Light responded tiredly, because God how he hated arguing. “Look, I just need to write a few more names. Then we can go take a walk or go to a farmers market or some shit. I don’t care. But I didn’t sign up to be-“

And, of course, his phone that had died has suddenly been brought back to life and rings furiously. And Light doesn’t even have tho look at the caller ID, because he personalized that ringtone a long time ago.

“Oh shit!” Beyond whistled, snatching his phone off of the nightstand. “He’s called you about twenty times! Stalker much?”

“Dammit.” He cursed, snatching gthe phone out of Beyond’s pale fingers. Now that his phone was once again active, it wouldn’t be that hard to trace him down. And Light absolutely did NOT need L showing up to his hotel room. It was time to placate and coddle, what a drag. Couldn’t he do anything with L breathing down his neck?

“Hello?”

“Really? ‘Hello?’ That’s all you have to say?” L’s terse voice came over the phone, and Light inaudibly sighed. Great, now he had to deal with another nuisance. He hadn’t of had one moment of peace since he woke up halfway during the flight because Beyond wanted to show him a cloud. What did he have to do to get some peace and quiet? Kill someone? Heh.

“So, you’ve heard.”

“Of course I’ve heard!” L spat. “Roger has been blowing up my phone for three straight hours. It’s eleven pm at night Light, you’ve been off the grid all day! What the hell happened? How could you just not pick up you phone?”

“Okay L, my phone died. It’s not like I was dead in a ditch somewhere. I just heard your call, and I didn’t realize how late it was. I’m suffering with jet lag you know.” Light told him, looking out the darkened windows. The thought of the time difference made Light smile. He hoped Roger had almost had a stroke over him.

“You could’ve been dead in a ditch.” L told him, his voice still laced with anger. “Don’t worry me like that ever again, got it?”

“Okay L, I’m sorry.”

“I mean seriously! I had no idea where you were! What if you had been kidnapped and held for ransom? What if someone had found out you were connected to me, and killed you? KIRA could’ve killed you for christ’s sake-“

“I said I’m sorry already.” Light grumbled, growing increasingly more agitated at L’s mother hen act. Was he not about to be eighteen years old? He didn’t need a dummy and a safety blanket, he was a perfectly capable adult who would never allow himself to be abducted or killed. Who did L think he was speaking too? “I’m not some idiot, L. No one would ever know you were connected to me, and I highly doubt Kira would kill me. Doesn’t he only kill criminals?”

“So, you’re heard about the case?” L sighed, and Light nodded even though he knew L couldn’t see him. “And I know his primary victims are criminals, but still. I didn’t like not being able to get ahold of you. I was really…worried”

“Of course I’ve heard about the case, B told me. And, it is in my home country after all.” Light scoffed, ignoring the way his heart fluttered at L’s last remark. 

“Where is B? Is he there with you?”

Light opened his mouth to respond, but Beyond suddenly jumped in front of his face and started making slashing motions with his neck. Light watched with wide eyes as the other’s red orbs clearly communicated one message to him: DON’T SAY ANYTHING!

Why? Light didn’t know, but he assumed Beyond wanted to stay hidden for a little while longer. He did love secrets. Or maybe he just didn’t want to be scolded by L. Yeah, that was probably it. B mouthed ‘don’t tell’ and Light rolled his eyes.

“Not at the moment.” Yes, he’d honor the other’s request for now. Maybe if he showed Beyond mercy, the other would return the favor and leave him the hell alone for a few hours. And he wasn’t exactly biting at the bit to broadcast that he and B were on some kind of mission together. 

“What the hell does that mean?” L demanded. “I know he bought a ticket for the same flight you were on.”

Light bit his tongue, so now he had to make up some cover story for Beyond? B’s reasoning for wanting to stay hidden had better be good, because Light was officially thoroughly annoyed by all of this nonsense. “He came with me on the flight. But..when we got off at the airport, I went to the restroom and when I came back out he was gone. I haven’t heard from him since.”

“Are you fucking kidding me?” L growled. “Where in the hell did he run off too? And why was he even on the flight in the first place?”

“I don’t know L, he wanted to leave Wammy’s.” Light griped, flipping to a new page in the Death Note. “He threatened me with grievous bodily harm unless I allowed him to go with, what was I supposed to do?” He ignored the middle finger B gave him.

“Well then that begs the question, why did you even go in the first place?” Light just glared at the switched off, blank television screen in front of him. “I mean, you were going to come here anyway next week. Why did you suddenly decide to just leave in the middle of the night? That was really, really dangerous.”

“L, I’m not some child running away from home.” Light snapped, feeling his heart begin to beat faster. “I knew what ‘dangers’ there could’ve been, but I avoided them. I’m not some idiot, I thought you of all people would know that.” He really, truly hated being underestimated. Especially by L.

“I’m not calling you stupid.” L snapped right back. “And you still haven’t answered my question.”

“I was getting to that.” Light sighed. “I just needed to leave there L. I mean…after A did what he did…surely you can understand? I had to sleep in the same room that he hung himself in, it wasn’t exactly a comforting environment.”

“Roger could’ve moved you to a new room.” L said lowly. “If you had a problem, you should’ve talked to me about it. You can’t just run away from your problems Light.”

Oh. That was just great then. Light felt as if a bucket of cold ice had just been poured onto him, and he sat back against the pillows. Who on Earth did L think he was? Lecturing Light about running away from his problems. He wasn’t running away, he was on a mission that L would never care about or understand. He wasn’t some spineless coward, he was employing his newfound powers to help the world! How could L, one of the greatest minds in all of the world, be so dense about some matters?

“…You don’t know what it was like there.” Light whispered, because if he raised his voice it would betray his fury. “And if I had talked to you, would it of really mattered?”

“And what’s that supposed to mean?”

“It means that everyone in that school suffers in silence L, and somehow you can’t see that.” Light spat, not able to control all of his anger any longer. “You saw what Roger did to A, but even that wasn’t enough!”

“Light…I care about all of you.” L sighed sadly, and Light felt a pang in his chest. “I really have tried to talk to Quillsh and Roger about the conditions at Wammy’s house…ESPECIALLY after what happened to A. Have things really not gotten better? I know it’s only been a week, but-“

“It’s fine L.” Light tiredly dismissed, closing his burning eyes. If L was telling the truth, then that just meant that no matter what the raven said nothing would change. That just meant that he was being lied to as well. And anyway, Roger and Quillsh and every single adult at Wammy’s would get what they deserved one day. One way or another. He just couldn’t have this fight now, his arms felt as if they were weighed down by rocks. He couldn’t allow his emotions to overtake him. 

“I just needed a change.” He continued, watching Beyond pick up the remote from the corner of his eye. He hoped he wouldn’t put on anything too loud, or too dumb. “And I was going to come to Japan anyway, and I’m turning eighteen in about…an hour. So I figured it’s my life, and I should be able to do whatever I damn please.”

“I don’t want to have this fight over the phone.” L sighed. “I want you to come to the hotel I’m at. Where are you? I’ll have Mr. Wammy pick you up.”

“I have a hotel room, L.”

“That’s not what I asked. Where are you?”

Light bit his tongue and counted to ten. “Are n’t you busy working on your case?”

“I don’t like not knowing where you are. I want you to stay at the hotel I’m at.”

“L, that isn’t necessary.” No, that could absolutely not happen. Killing in the same room that L was? Yeah, that would go over about as well as a lamb and a lion sharing a spot of tea. There was no way that he could work in the same vicinity as L.

“Light, don’t make me track your phone.” L scolded like a father. Great. So now he couldn’t even attempt to hide?

“Whatever. Just track my phone then.” Light sniped, thoroughly fed up. “I guess I’ll see Quillsh in about a half an hour since I can’t ever be left alone!”

Of course L had something to say to that, but Light didn’t bother listening as he snapped his phone shut.

“Lovers quarrel?” Beyond asked cheekily.

“L’s gonna make me come and stay with him.” Light growled, running his fingers through his hair. His phone rang again, but Light just threw it onto Beyond’s bed. 

“Shit.” Beyond chuckled, turning up the volume so that Light was instantly assaulted with annoying cartoon laughter. Could it get any worse? “What are you gonna do? Imagine, Kira killing in the same hotel room that L is. That’s…a riot! Good going, Light.”

“Shut up Beyond.” Light hissed, massaging his temples. “I’m not going to be able to take the Death Note with me, obviously. That would just be stupid. And dangerous.”

“Do I get to keep it?” Beyond gasped, excitedly rushing over and grabbing the Death Note before Light could even blink.

“I don’t know.” He grumbled. “Ryuk, is that possible? Is Beyond allowed to use the Death Note too?”

“I guess you two can share, if he gets your permission.” Ryuk giggled like a school girl, and Light closed his eyes tightly. Beyond was way too irresponsible for the Death Note. He worried for the fate of the world. Giving Beyond the Death Note would be like giving an arsonist a pack of matches. But what else was he to do? He could’t take a break, and he wasn’t going to bring the notebook anywhere near L. 

What a nightmare.

“Beyond…” Light started out slowly, because this had to be done right. Beyond needed to know the rules, that he couldn’t just kill anyone and everyone. There had to be some boundaries, because fi Light let him have free reign then half of the world would probably be dead by dawn. “If I let you use it, you can only kill criminals. Understood?”

“Light, you can trust me.” But he had a sparkle in his red orbs, one that Light didn’t trust. “I’ll carry on your precious little mission, no funny business. Scouts honor.”

Light almost groaned, Beyond wouldn’t know what honor was if it hit him in the face. “That also means KNOWN criminals. No killing Roger.”

Beyond’s mouth, predictably, fell open. “You’re such a spoilsport.” He scowled. “I have the power to kill that old bat in any way I want to, and your telling me I can’t? That’s like giving me jam but saying I can only use it on toast. No, that’s just cruel.”

Of course Beyond wasn’t going to make this easy. And jam was only supposed to be used on toast, anyway. “But if he dies it’ll be suspicious.” Light argued, because apparently he was the only logical person left in the room. It was so hard being the voice of reason sometimes. “No one knows of his crimes, Kira certainly doesn’t. Kira doesn’t even know Roger exists! If he dies, it’ll be traced back to you or me.”

“Then I’ll just make him commit suicide or something.” Beyond puffed his chest out, like he had just invented sliced bread. What a fool.

“Beyond, we can’t rock the boat just yet.” Light huffed. “It’s not that I don’t want Roger dead, I do. He’ll get what’s coming to him, because he is definitely a criminal who needs justice. But we have to give it some time, like a few months, before he dies. What if L realizes Kira can kill with means other than a heart attack? That’s a huge advantage, one that could help us in the future if we play our cards right.”

“This is so unfair.” Beyond rolled his eyes. 

“Beyond, please.” God, how he hated begging. “Can you do this for me?”

“Again, I am not an idiot Light.” He sneered, bringing the Death Note close to his chest. “I promise you I’m smart enough to kill a few criminals without doing anything incriminating. Trust me, yeah? Who knows, maybe I’ll even be better at it then you.”

Light almost laughed, that would be impossible. “I don’t like this.” Light eyed him. “I know you CAN kill criminals, and you can be smart about it. But I don’t know if you will.”

Beyond just rolled his eyes. “I promise I won’t have any fun with it.”

Light raised his eyebrow. “Show me your hands.” 

“They aren’t crossed!” Beyond exclaimed, holding his red dyed fingers up. Light almost gagged, could he really not eat jam with a spoon like normal people? How unsightly. 

“This is important Beyond.” Light reminded him, because he needed this to work. He couldn’t have any silly mistakes being made. Usually in life if one wanted something done right, they were they only ones who could do it. However, that wasn’t viable at the moment. He couldn’t have Beyond killing any celebrities or world leaders.

“Ryuk, you watch him.” Light ordered, collecting his back pack. “I’ll be back as soon as I can. Maybe get a different hotel room, so Quillsh won’t find you here. And get a burner, so they can’t track your location.”

“What is this, I’m a babysitter now?” Ryuk squawked indignantly, but Light just ignored him.

“Why don’t you want to be found?” He suddenly asked Beyond, stopping near the door.

The other just shrugged. “I don’t want to talk to L.” He answered, sulkily. “And I don’t want to take a chance they’ll send me back. You were right, you’re eighteen but I still have a few months to go before I’m legal.”

“Oh.” Light nodded. He guessed that made sense-

“And, it’s a mystery. I like being a mystery.” Beyond grinned, and Light just rolled his eyes. That sounded more like Beyond.

But he’d keep his secret. Beyond was keeping his, after all. And he didn’t want Beyond to go back to Wammy’s, no matter how much he annoyed him. He couldn’t risk the other running his mouth, and this way he at least had a little bit of control over the other boy. And Beyond’s eyes could be useful, in case he ever needed to kill someone who’s name he didn’t know. As long as Beyond didn’t make too much trouble, he could stay.

But Light couldn’t resist looking back over his shoulder as he walked down the hallway. He hoped nothing bad would occur while he was away.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Please comment and review, and know that I do not own death note and I am not making any money from this fic, obviously.


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